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  1. #1
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    Default Wife not interested in swinger clubs but wants to go to adult theatre

    My wife and I are brand new to this though we have talked about it for about two years off and on. During a recent conversation she told me that she would really enjoy going to an adult movie theater and fooling around there. It seems to me that she may be more interested in the theater than in going to a swingers club, though we have talked about going to a club also.

    I'm trying to understand her attraction to the adult theater versus the club. Can any women help explain why she might prefer the theater as a first step? Or if you are a man, did your wife or girlfriend ever mention anything similar.

    I know alot of lifestyle couples go to adult theaters so the crowd may be the same just smaller. I have also heard that there may be more "activity" in a theater, though usually it is of the "watch and be watched" type rather than any partner exchange.

    Anyway, I would appreciate any input.

  2. #2
    Canadian, eh? intuition897's Avatar
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    Default Re: Clubs or adult theaters?

    I've never been to an adult theatre, but I'm guessing the reason they appeal to your wife, if what you say about the atmosphere there is true, is that interaction between couples is NOT common. Therefore, the two of you won't be pounced on like chunks of fresh meat, or pressured to do something that is "expected" at a swinger's club. Am I close?

    I'd recommend the club. Seriously. They're much more friendly and civil than a regular bar. Another concern I would have is the legality of the goings-on in the theatres. A good swinger's club owner will have had a lawyer tighten up the legal loopholes that can get you arrested should the place ever be raided. It depends on the laws in your area, but generally, if there is sexual activity, and the place is not a private club...it is considered public. And thus you leave yourself wide open to charges of indecency or something similar. A swinger's club is an actual CLUB that you pay yearly dues to be a part of...even if it's as little as $1. That means that it's not open to the public, and it isn't harming the public in any way. At least here in Canada, that means it's not indecent, and not illegal.
    Fear is a symptom of ignorance. Knowledge is the cure.

  3. #3
    Swingers Board Addict Dooode's Avatar
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    Default Re: Clubs or adult theaters?

    I'd have to go with Intuition on her thoughts. But to add to them:

    Theaters are not the cleanest environments around.

    Clubs, although much pricier, have rules of conduct enforced by management. Often, these rules are the guidelines set by the swinging lifestyle itself. For example, "no means NO!", no one is pressured to do anything they're not comfortable doing, no illegal drugs, no drinking to excess, etc.

    Per NASCA, swinging is composed of two main ingredients: 1) social intercourse and 2) recreational sex.

    Social intercourse involves mixing it up with people, ie. having drinks, discussions, meals, dancing, flirting, hottubbing, etc.. Some people like more social intercourse, some people like less. Some clubs are nothing but social intercourse and don't allow sex on the site itself (aka "off-premises clubs").

    Recreational sex is defined (again per NASCA) as sex with another who is not your spouse.

    If you're going to a theatre to fool around with your wife, it's not technically swinging. It's just some dirty sex with your wife --- and that's ok too!

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Clubs or adult theaters?

    Thanks for the replies. I agree that some dirty sex with my wife is a very good idea also, and I also agree that a theater may be a less safe and less clean place than a club. I also understand the legal problems that Intuition mentioned. However, the theater that we are looking at is supposed to be like a private club--you sign up for a day and pay for entrance for that day. That might take care of the legal problem. The setup is not rows of seats but sofas and some private booths--or so I have heard.
    The real issue I have is why my wife would prefer to go to a dirtier, less safe environment. I believe that Intuition may be right when she says that she may be more comfortable with an environment that she feels will have less pressure than a club. To be honest, I was surprised when she told me that the thought of a theater turned her on. Theaters usually are more for men, or so I have thought. But she cant be the only woman who feels this way. Whatever the reason, I guess I should thank my stars because anything that turns her on, turns me on also. I just dont want to go to a theater and be disappointed, but also dont want to pressure her into going
    to a lcub if she is not ready for that yet.

  5. #5
    Swingers Board Addict shy_couple's Avatar
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    Default Re: Clubs or adult theaters?

    male 1/2 here. I know the appeal and if you are reading erotica online these stories (for me anyway)seem very hot. I have visited some adult theaters in the past. they are filthy(in the 3-4 that I have been in there is a person with a mop bucket of bleach water who comes aroun frequently for clean up),smokey,and (in my experience at least) full of older gay men trolling for any kind of action in a darkened room. the few I have been have been in unsavory parts of town and I would have fear for my own safety much less my SO entering or while at one of these places. the people running these places know what goes on and really dont seem to care. I would also be afraid of law enforcement raiding or lurking and busting any "lewd behavior" as I have been to one theater with couches and it is posted everywhere NO NUDITY/MASTURBATING. we have still not visited a swing club but part of the appeal is safety. no means no. and from what we have read here even if management is not aound there are usually experienced/regulars that would help diffuse any unwanted advances.

  6. #6
    anything boys can do....
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    Default Re: Clubs or adult theaters?

    I went to my first club this past weekend.
    I have to say Dog and I had a great time. Although there was plenty of activity. (not sex, just play) I was not constantly hit on. I was looked at and smiled at. But I stayed close to Dog and the other couple we were with. I felt safe and comfortable.
    I think the experinced of the group could sence that I was new to this and I was left to explore my comfort level.
    I am looking forward to my next visit to this or another club.
    But taking from my first experience I would highly recommend a club. Exspecially if you have a couple with you that are members and know the ropes. Makes the experience much more comfortable.
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  7. #7
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    Default Re: Clubs or adult theaters?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cubemex
    My wife and I are brand new to this though we have talked about it for about two years off and on. During a recent conversation she told me that she would really enjoy going to an adult movie theater and fooling around there. It seems to me that she may be more interested in the theater than in going to a swingers club, though we have talked about going to a club also.

    I'm trying to understand her attraction to the adult theater versus the club. Can any women help explain why she might prefer the theater as a first step? Or if you are a man, did your wife or girlfriend ever mention anything similar.

    I know alot of lifestyle couples go to adult theaters so the crowd may be the same just smaller. I have also heard that there may be more "activity" in a theater, though usually it is of the "watch and be watched" type rather than any partner exchange.

    Anyway, I would appreciate any input.
    My first time was in a theater its quite and I jacked a couple of guys, I did that a few times before I was ready to swing all the way.. ILene

  8. #8
    Swingers Board Addict cuzzeyesaidso's Avatar
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    Default Re: Clubs or adult theaters?

    There were a few theatres in Oahu that I use to visit way back in the day that catered to couples and single women that wanted to work the glory holes. I hear all of those got shut down. Now in San Diego there are only a hand full of adult theatres in the whole county. I've visited one, and the "lurking old man" scenario was pretty accurate. There are rumors of couples visiting the place from time to time for gangbangs and stuff in the private rooms at that same theatre. I have yet to find anybody to actually prove this to be true. Seems more like a plot to get horny younger men into the place.

    I broke my wife in at a local swing club. She was pretty shocked at first. It amazed her that there were real looking people in these places, not the "pretty" women she had seen on a porno. After she did some watching she was ready to join an orgy that first night.

  9. #9
    Where's the party! nice_cpl_n_bama's Avatar
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    Default Re: Clubs or adult theaters?

    There is a adult theater in Birmingham Alabama called "The Screening Room." There's a swingers group that gets together there along with the general public a few times a week. From the pics posted in the yahoo group it's dirty plastic chairs and dirty old men crowded around half a dozen couples. I think the yahoo group is called alabama_adult_theaters.
    Laurie and I looked at the group page pics and considered it, but after some great times at clubs and house parties we asked ourselves "why deal with dirty sleazy places and dirty sleazy old men when the clubs and parties are clean and fun?"
    I dropped my group memberships from all the yahoo groups that dealt with theaters and glory holes. Real interaction with real people is so much nicer
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  10. #10
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    Default Re: Clubs or adult theaters?

    Thanks for the replies guys. I thought this thread was dead because no one had responded in so long. We are still looking for someplace to go, but have pretty much decided to go to a club. They seem to be cleaner and more comfortable.

  11. #11
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    Default Re: Clubs or adult theaters?

    Hmm,

    If my opinion accounts for much, I would say go to the adult theater. My reasons for such a recommendation are selfish. Detailed stories of naughty erotic events in such dirty and out of the way places are far more exciting than what seems to be the often predictable stories from Swinger's Clubs. Of course, I mean no offense to those attending clubs, I just prefer stories that place normal couples into situations they would never have thought to find themselves in. That is what makes the couple unpredictable and the stories far more erotic.

    You simply can not predict what your wife might do in such a theater. Nor can you predict how excited you might get watching her do something to another that makes you jealous and orgasmic at the same.

    Take the chance, act on impulse, true you might regret it, but you will never know till you chance it. Let your wife go crazy in that theater. The kind readers of these forums might, just might, be eager for a highly erotic story, but don't want to admit it

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