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  1. #1
    Here to Stay sensalicious's Avatar
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    Default Swingers who smoke; folks who don't

    Hello all,

    G and I have been discussing this in our exploration for compatible couples. In browsing profiles, we have noticed a larger-than-normal number of swingers smoke than the general population(which I believe is one in four). I quit(for the last time) 19 months ago after 10 years of on-and-off social smoking that became, unfortunately, more fulltime than not. G has never smoked.

    We have no particular problem with people choosing to smoke. Everyone knows the health risks. My sisters smoke and we socialize with them.

    Our dilemma is this: we've seen profiles for some otherwise intriguing couples; or, we've been contacted by some where one or the other smoke. One couple has offered not to smoke around us. Generous, considering how sex and smoking go together.

    We REALLY like kissing, nibbling, etc during foreplay and consider it an integral part of sexual intimacy. But kissing a smoker can be sorta/kinda/fairly "ucky" for a nonsmoker.

    So........how did it work for you? What arrangements did you make to work it out? Did that work, or only for the first few times you were together(when the smokers were on their 'new couple' behavior?) Did you later regret even starting to play with those who smoke? Or did everything work out fine and dandy, knowing it is just one of the things couples may compromise on in the spirit of truly enjoying one anothers company.

    We would appreciate any feedback you may have.

    Thanks,

    dee ahn is she
    G is he
    Live well.....laugh often........learn much.......love always.


    Love is the only thing that once divided, multiplies. :kissface:

  2. #2
    jen
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    Default I have no experience with swinging -

    just experience with kissing a smoker. I haven't shared a sorta/kinda/fairly "ucky" kiss with him yet. I am certain I wont ever say ewww or uck to his kisses.

    We don't kiss often as we aren't close in geographical ways, but when we do - his kisses are so soft and so special that "ucky" is just impossible.

    Even though I have not ever smoked.

    Now onion breath...ok that I can't cope with...Goofin, just goofin.

    Oh well, to each there own.
    April in Tulsa - it's fun for everyone!

  3. #3
    Mod Squad Member good times's Avatar
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    Actually, my wife smokes and unless you kiss her right after she has a cigerette nobody seems to notice. On the other hand I have several friends who are non smokers and their breath can sometimes take the paint off walls. I'll take a smoker over someone with bad breath any day.

    R

  4. #4
    Swingers Board Addict sexypairca's Avatar
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    Maybe it is ex-smoker syndrome but I HATE the smell/taste of a smoker. I can be in a bar and relatively not bothered much by the smoke but I would rather lick an ashtray than kiss someone that just finished a cigarette.

    Annette
    I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week.

  5. #5
    Just a hick Okie Alura's Avatar
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    We don't smoke and prefer to play with people who don't. However, one has to assess the bad and the good and make a decision based on the overall person/couple.

    If two couples were equal in every way except smoking, we'd choose the non-smokers. We've never known two couples to be equal in any way.

    It's hard enough to find compatible people to play with. To reject a person whose only problem is smoking would be sad, but we do wish everybody who smokes would quit.

    We've noticed that a lot of swingers smoke. We have no idea why.

    Alura

  6. #6
    Swingers Board Addict bear_n_bunny's Avatar
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    My Bear smokes a pipe and he's never had ashtray mouth unlike my first husband who smokes a pack or more a day. Heck, I even like the smell of his pipe. I must say Bear is considerate and always indulges in breathments before swapping spit with anyone besides me.

    --Bunny

  7. #7
    Swingers Board Addict bear_n_bunny's Avatar
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    ...And I try to be careful about it when kissing Bunny, for that matter....

    I agree with goodtimes; I've had a lot more problems with non-smokers smelling and/or tasting bad than I ever had with smokers.

    As for the anti-smoking nazis one runs into, frankly, I figure if they are that anal about something as truly trivial as this, they are most likely lousy in bed anyway, so it's no great loss...

    -- Bear

  8. #8
    Swingers Board Addict naughty A's Avatar
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    Default Re: Swingers who smoke; folks who don't

    Originally posted by sensalicious
    We REALLY like kissing, nibbling, etc during foreplay and consider it an integral part of sexual intimacy. But kissing a smoker can be sorta/kinda/fairly "ucky" for a nonsmoker.

    So........how did it work for you? What arrangements did you make to work it out? Did that work, or only for the first few times you were together(when the smokers were on their 'new couple' behavior?) Did you later regret even starting to play with those who smoke? Or did everything work out fine and dandy, knowing it is just one of the things couples may compromise on in the spirit of truly enjoying one anothers company.

    I am a NON smoker... I try not to be a "nazi" about it as someone mentioned but it is the first criteria I screen for in potential partners. I have asthma and I wear contacts... being around a smoker or in a smoky place can be physically uncomfortable for me - it is also the reason that I have a tendency to leave a gathering early-- when a room starts to get too smoky I have to leave.

    I don't find the experience of kissing a smoker pleasant but even refraining from smoking for a period doesn't eliminate it from their clothing or their hair or their person... its there... and I understand that it can take up to 6 mos for it to leave their system. I am very "scent" sensative. ( find me some tiny violin players here...)

    It is almost the very first question that I ask a potential couple- do either of you smoke? I have at times considered breaking this rule... but I haven't yet and I'm glad that I haven't. I know that I would just be setting myself and them up for an uncomfortable & unpleasant evening so... why bother ... I would probably spend the night trying to hold my breath and consequently would be "lousy in bed" because I couldn't breathe freely.

    JMO.

    so it reduces the number of potential partners... so I'm selective ... big deal.
    The proper response to "Good morning" is not "Prove it!"

  9. #9
    Swingers Board Addict sexypairca's Avatar
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    Originally posted by bear_n_bunny
    As for the anti-smoking nazis one runs into, frankly, I figure if they are that anal about something as truly trivial as this, they are most likely lousy in bed anyway, so it's no great loss...

    -- Bear
    How can you actually consider it to be trivial? Would you go down on a woman that in your opinion smelt wrong? I would guess "no", due to the fact that the smell/taste was unpleasant and it would not be an enjoyable experience. Same goes for kissing someone with cigarette breath. Unpleasant taste equals decreased enjoyment so why do it? Oh well label me a lousy lay on this one .

    Annette
    I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week.

  10. #10
    Just a hick Okie Alura's Avatar
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    Mrs. Alura says men who smoke have bitter-tasting cum.

    Mr. Alura

  11. #11
    Swingers Board Addict windsor4fun2's Avatar
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    Originally posted by sexypairca
    Maybe it is ex-smoker syndrome but I HATE the smell/taste of a smoker. I can be in a bar and relatively not bothered much by the smoke but I would rather lick an ashtray than kiss someone that just finished a cigarette.

    Annette
    I have to second most of this. I find now that I really hate smoke as well. I quit about 6 years ago, my wife 2. We hadn't smoked in the house for years so that wasn't an issue but I couldn't ride in my wifes car because of the smell.

    Kissing was also a problem because of the taste and smell. A while ago my wife made a comment about how much we now kissed. She said she thought I didn't like to kiss. It wasn't kissing, it was the smoking.

    The thing I have to take exception with in the above quote is the licking the ashtray bit. If I had to do one or the other...I'd kiss the smoker.

    Jesse

  12. #12
    Only slightly cracked... BradAndJanet's Avatar
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    I must be a real odd-ball (OK, start the jokes, ), but I'm a non-smoker who doesn't really mind smoking at all. Maybe it's because I've been around J for 22 years, but I can't really remember a time when it bothered me. It's really NOT a factor with me.

    -B
    "If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." - Mark Twain
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  13. #13
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    We are both non smokers and have found it very hard to find fellow non smokers in the lifestyle. The main reason we are non smokers is due to Lauras allergies and asthma. This does tend to limit the number of compatible couples!

    The other issue we have found is not really being able to go to any clubs due to the smoke factor. It's hard for her to want to play when she can barely breathe!

    Sean & Laura
    "I only insult my friends, the rest can go to hell!"

  14. #14
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    I wouldn't have a problem with smokers or non-smokers. My husband is a social smoker, and I am a smoker. If someone didn't want us to smoke, and we wanted to be with them, then we would respect their request by not smoking. If someone didn't want to be with us because we smoke, then we would not hold that against them.
    Sabrina

  15. #15
    Swingers Board Addict OhioCouple's Avatar
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    My husband and I are both smokers. We've not really run into any problems, but if we are contacted by someone on our ad site and see that they are non-smokers, we are always careful to point out to them that we are as there is no removing the odor that adheres to your hair or clothing after you have smoked a ciggarette, even if it wasn't in their presence.

    Being a smoker, however, it drives me batty when people allow their smoke to blow or go in my general breathing area. I cannot stand to have smoke in my face. And people that smoke while eating, drives me bonkers. I do try to be considerate of others, (whether they smoke or not) in the same respect that I wish that other smokers would do for me.

    Club venues are always so smokey that I can hardly tolerate it. My eyes are very sensitive to smoke and scents that they will begin to water and turn red almost immediately. They either need better venilation systems, or something in order to make it more comfortable for all who attend, or to confine smoking to a certain area away from the main attractions.
    Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

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