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Articles
How-to articles written by real swingers to explain the swinging lifestyle.
Attending a swingers hotel takeover can be a fun way to meet a lot of like-minded sexy people and enjoy a great weekend! Groups hold events all across the country. All events are different, but here is some advice to ensure that you get the most out of any hotel takeover.
1. Know What You Are Getting Into!
Before paying to attend the event, make sure it is a FULL hotel takeover. Some events claim to be a hotel takeover but are actually only taking over one floor of the hotel. Or, they may have the whole hotel, but only for some of the nights. In either of these cases, you are dealing with situations that will open the hotel up to non-swingers. Non-swingers unsuspectingly stumbling into some swinger fun can lead to some less than desirable situations.
2. Reach Out Ahead of Time
Once you have established that the event is a full takeover and you have decided to attend, try to find out who else might be going. Some events have online groups or websites where you can talk with other couples. In many cases, you can find a list of attendees on sites like Swinglifestyle.com. Check out the list and contact other couples who are attending to say hello and see if you can establish a line of communication BEFORE you get to the party. Reaching out online ahead of time will make it easier to connect with people in person at the event.
3. Theme Parties
If the parties have themes attached to them, try to plan ahead to dress in theme. It just makes things more fun, and it's one more way to start conversations.
4. Get There Early
If at all possible, arrive the night before the hotel takeover begins. Arriving early will allow you time to get comfortable with your room and work any kinks out that you may encounter as well as give you a chance to meet people before things really get going. If there is a hot tub, go hang out by it. If other swinger couples came early too, you will probably find them around the hot tub.
5. Don't Miss the 1st Day
If you can't be there early, then at least be there when the party starts! With fewer people there on the first day, it is much easier to meet people around the pool and have a great time. It's also much easier to find an empty chair around the pool. Speaking of pool parties...
6. Pool Parties
If there are pool parties, be at them! Some of the most fun is at the pool parties and often some great giveaways. Also, get up early to get a seat. Those pool chairs fill up quickly, so if you aren't up early, you may find yourself standing around to watch the action.
7. Don't Waste Time
Be on time to the parties. Again, if you aren't on time, you may find yourself standing all night. Plus, if you are early or on time, you can easily meet and mingle with others as they arrive rather than coming in after things have already gotten started and finding yourself just wishing you had a place to sit or even stand!
8. Be Aware of the Rules!
The event sponsor signed a contract with the hotel binding them to certain conditions. The most common is no sex in public places, and it may include no nudity in certain areas. Be aware of the rules, and don't break them! Invariably someone always pushes the boundaries, and the hosts hate to be the bad guys. But if the wrong people see the wrong thing (think hotel manager seeing you give a blowjob at the pool), they can shut the whole event down, not just for this time but for future events too. So don't kill everyone's fun. Just because it's an adult event doesn't mean you don't have to act like a responsible adult!
9. The Best for Last - The Party Rooms!
Party rooms are where all the action takes place! Be courteous. If you aren't playing, don't stand around gawking or having a conversation a few feet from someone who is playing. Keep your distance or find somewhere else to hold your conversation. And if you do want to play, then get in there! Always ask first. No always means no, no questions asked. Just because you're a swinger and you are there, and they are swingers and they are there, doesn't automatically mean they want to have sex with you! Most events have several party rooms to suit your needs and moods and help you find compatible people, so enjoy them!
Any other tips you want to share? Post them below!
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Gangbang 101
By JustAskJulie, in Swinger Tips,
What Is a Gangbang?
A gangbang is a sexual scenario where one person has sex with many (four or more) people of the opposite sex at the same time. Women are most often the center of a gangbang while enjoying the attention of multiple men. A gangbang can have as many participants as you desire. A gangbang can also occur where one man has sex with many women at the same time. This referred to as a reverse gangbang.
How Do Gangbangs Work?
Since there are only so many ways that a single woman can please other people, the number of participants at one time may be limited. If there are more men than available than the woman can accommodate at one time, she may want to invite a 'fluffer.' A fluffer's job is to keep any men who are not actively participating in the gangbang at that moment hard or to get them hard. For extremely large gangbangs, you may need multiple fluffers.
How Do You Find Participants?
Unless you already know a large number of people who are interested in joining your gangbang, you may find it challenging to arrange enough men. If you've had several MFM encounters, you may have built up a pool of men to draw from for this activity. Ask those guys first and see how many positively respond before you branch out into unknown territory. Keep in mind that even men who are comfortable with threesomes may find they aren't comfortable in a gangbang scenario.
When drawing from a pool of unknown men, you will find that half (or less) of the men you invite actually show up. Unfortunately, many men who not experienced in gangbangs (or swinging of any kind) find the idea appealing, but when faced with reality, not so much. The best way to find participants is to search for a local gangbang group. You can often find these on internet groups or by talking to other swinger friends in your area who might know a group. If seeking men on your own, stick to single men on swinger lifestyle websites that have certifications showing that they are experienced swingers. While they may not have experience in gangbangs, at least they've had sex with other people in the room.
What Should I Expect?
In my opinion, there are two types of gangbangs. The first is a gangbang where the girl is the center of attention and getting attention from more than one guy at a time (and giving attention to more than one guy at a time). If you are the guy in this type of gangbang, understand up front that you will not be getting the undivided attention of a woman. Your job is to give her your full attention! While you won't get her full attention, you hopefully will get enough of her attention to ensure that you have a great evening.
The second type of gangbang is a "train." This is what most people envision when they think of a gangbang. A train is basically a line of guys waiting, cock in hand, to have sex with a girl as she lies back and takes them on. In this situation the guy is more likely to get the female's full attention when it is his turn. When planning a gangbang, consider which type you'd prefer and be sure to make your participants aware of what you expect.
Where Should We Have It?
The best place to have a gangbang is anywhere that you are comfortable. However, I would not advise inviting a bunch of guys you don't know over to your house. A hotel is probably the best choice. Make sure you get a room that is big enough to accommodate the number of people you hope to have show up. You may want to get a suite with an adjoining sitting area, to have room to spread out. Don't forget the necessary supplies like lube and condoms. Make sure to have plenty of your preferred condom on hand, as well as your favorite lube. You're likely to get a little dry after a couple of hours.
When planning your first gangbang, go into it with an open attitude and the understanding that it may not turn out as you hope or plan. Invite at least twice as many men as you'd like to have show up, and know that you'll have a good time with whoever shows up, even if it's just one guy.
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What do all those swinger profile acronyms mean? Here you will find your answers.
420 - refers to marijuana use.
AC/DC - Person who enjoys both same sex and opposite sex sexual activity (see BI; BISEXUAL).
ADULT - Euphemism for pornographic.
AFF -Refers to the website Adult Friend Finder
ALL CULTURES - Person or couple who enjoys all fetishes and sexual activities (see CULTURE).
AMERICAN CULTURE - Man on top, the missionary position.
ANAL SEX - Anal intercourse (see GREEK; GREEK CULTURE).
ANALINGUS - Oral contact or stimulation of the anus of one partner by kissing, licking, or sucking of the other.
ANIMAL TRAINING / ANIMALS - Sexual activity with animals, usually dogs and women (see BEASTIALITY)
ARTS - Euphemism for fetishes (see CULTURE).
B&D or B/D -Bondage and discipline; use of various methods to restrain someone while administering discipline, usually done by a "master" to his/her "slave" (see BONDAGE; DISCIPLINE; BDSM).
BBC - Big Black Cock.
BBW - Big Beautiful Woman; Referring to women that may not be their “ideal” weight, but are comfortable with the size that they are.
BDSM - A combination of three terms: BD (Bondage & Discipline), DS (Dominance & Submission), and SM (Sadism & Masochism). A wide range of sexual activities having to do with power.
BEASTIALITY - (see ANIMAL TRAINING).
BI - Bisexual: Versatile (see AC/DC).
BI-COMFORTABLE - A Male or Female who is open to bi-sexual activities within swinging, but does not consider themselves bi-sexual or attracted to the same sex. (see also HETERO-FLEXIBLE and SOCIALLY BI).
BI-CURIOUS - A Male or Female who has some level of interest in trying same-sex activities.
BIZARRE - Unusual sexual desires.
BONDAGE - A sexual fetish in which restraints such as ropes, chains, cloth or leather straps are used to bind, tie or hold a participating sexual partner. The person doing the binding is considered "dominant" while the person being bound is considered "submissive."
BUKKAKE - a Japanese sexual term that refers to showering a receiver with sperm from one, several or many men. It is always a sperm shower and, therefore, those on the giving end are always male.
BYOB - Used to indicate that visitors must supply their own alcohol, common practice at clubs where local ordinances may prevent the sale of alcohol. However, they will usually provide "mixers" (i.e. sodas, juices, ice) (See also MIXERS PROVIDED).
CAN ENTERTAIN / CAN HOST – Swinger willing to invite others to their home for swinging.
CAN TRAVEL /WILL TRAVEL- Swinger willing to travel to your home to swing.
CANING - A spanking fetish employing a light cane usually bamboo or other light wood.
CHEATING - Sexual activity with others without spouse's knowledge and/or consent.
CLEAN - Hygienic; Free of sexually transmitted diseases.
CLOSED DOOR - (see CLOSED SWINGING).
CLOSED SWINGING - Sexual interaction among couples using separate rooms, usually in the same house. Provides a maximum of privacy.
CLOSET SWINGER - A person who hides the fact that he/she is a swinger (see DISCREET).
COUGAR - Name for an older woman who is seen to be aggressive in pursuing younger men.
COUPLE - In swinging, a man and a woman. May be married, living together (cohabitating), committed (on-going relationship) or a single couple dating for swinging purposes.
CPL - (see COUPLE).
CUCKOLD - While the originally meaning is the husband of a wife who cheats, it has come to mean (more often than not) a husband who's wife plays without him and comes home to tell him about it. It can also mean a husband who watches his wife play with others, or is forced to watch. This can also be reversed on the wife. Since different people use the word to mean different things, it is best to ask the people using the word in order to clarify the definition.
CULTURE - Euphemism for Fetish or Arts.
CUNNILINGUS - Stimulation of the vagina and clitoris by the mouth especially the tongue and lips, and sometimes the teeth (see FRENCH CULTURE)
D/D FREE - Drug/Disease Free, meaning that a couple/person is STD free and does not use drugs.
DILDO - An artificial penis, usually made of rubber, glass, or plastic, for sexual stimulation of the vagina and sometimes the anus.
HALL PASS - 1. A permission given to one married partner by the other to independently find and engage in sexual play. 2. A permission to play away from home without the presence of the other married partner.
DIRECTOR - The term used to describe the principal person who runs or otherwise operates a swing club, generally the owner. A person who works for the director and is responsible for party or club operation whether or not for pay, is generally called a Manager.
DISCIPLINE - A sexual fetish in which one partner dominates the other, a willing participant. Often includes physical punishment of the submissive partner, ranges from physical restraint to mild spankings to painful beatings.
DISCREET OR DISCRETION - Asking those who write or call to exercise caution so that children or others who may open mail or answer phone will not be offended and/or made aware of the swinging activity.
DOCILE - Willing to receive bondage and/or discipline (see SUBMISSIVE).
DOGGING - Dogging is a British euphemism for engaging in sexual acts in a semi-public place (typically a secluded car park or a movie theater) or watching others doing so. Frequently, there are more than two participants; group sex and sometimes even gang bangs can occur. Observation is encouraged, thus voyeurism and exhibitionism are closely associated with dogging. The two sets of people involved often meet either randomly or (increasingly) arrange to meet-up beforehand over the internet.
DOMESTIC TRAINING - Submissive obedience to household chores of an intimate and humiliating nature.
DOUBLE PENETRATION - Being penetrated in two orifices at the same time (usually refers to anal and vaginal, may also include oral).
DP - Double Penetration.
DOMINANT - A sexual partner in control of a willing submissive partner.
ENGLISH CULTURE - Sexual stimulation from spanking or caning.
ENTERTAIN - (see CAN ENTERTAIN).
EUROPEAN STYLE CLUB - One that requires clothing to be removed (sometimes after a certain time of night).
EXHIBITIONIST - Behavior in which an individual experiences sexual arousal or pleasure from displaying his/her body. Enjoys being watched.
F – Female.
FELLATIO - Sexual stimulation of the penis by the mouth, especially by the tongue and lips and sometimes teeth.
FETISH - Sexual arousal and pleasure through use of non-sexual objects, actions or non-genital anatomy.
FFM or FMF - Threesome involving two women and one man (see THREESOME). FFM sometimes refers to a threesome that is female-centric, where the women play more with each other.
FLAGELLATION - Sexual stimulation derived from pain, usually whipping or spanking.
FRENCH CULTURE - Oral-genital sexual activity (see FELLATIO; CUNNILINGUS).
FRIENDS FIRST - Interested in developing some level of friendship prior to sexual play (see INTERESTED IN FRIENDSHIP).
FULL SWAP - Two couples exchanging partners for all sexual activities including intercourse.
FUN AND GAMES - Euphemism for sexual activity.
GAY - A homosexual person, male or female. A gay female may also be called a Lesbian.
GBM - Gay Black Male.
GENEROUS - Refers to money for sex.
GIRL-GIRL - The girls will play while the guys watch.
GOLDEN SHOWER - Refers to urine play (see WATERSPORTS).
GREEK CULTURE - Anal-penile intercourse.
GROUP ROOM - Room set aside for group sex, generally furnished with wall-to-wall mattresses or pads.
GROUP SEX - Swinging; Sexual activity between three or more people.
GWM - Gay White Male.
HARD CORE - A swing party or swing engagement where sexual interaction is assumed and expected.
HARD SWINGING - (see HARD CORE).
HEAD - Oral-genital sexual activity; "Giving head" (see FRENCH CULTURE; FELLATIO; CUNNILINGUS).
HEDONIST - Someone who lives for pleasure; used by some as euphemism for a swinger.
HETERO-FLEXIBLE - (see BI-COMFORTABLE).
HETEROSEXUAL - Sexual attraction to members of the opposite sex.
HOMOSEXUAL - Sexual attraction to members of the same sex (see GAY).
HORNY - Sexually tense; in need of sexual pleasure.
HUNG - Refers to a man with a large penis.
HWP - Height-Weight Proportionate; someone who is at their ideal body weight.
INTERESTED IN FRIENDSHIP - Seeks a swinging relationship that includes emotional and recreational values (see FRIENDS FIRST).
IR – Interracial.
IRL - In Real Life; used in ads or online chat.
ISO - In Search Of; used in ads, example: MWC ISO Single Female.
LEATHER - A fetish; sexual stimulation through the wearing or touching of leather or leather garments.
LESBIAN - A woman sexually and emotionally attracted to other women (see GAY; HOMOSEXUAL).
LTR - Long Term Relationship.
M – Male.
MARITAL AIDS - Dildos, vibrators, and other devices used for sexual pleasure of self and others.
MASOCHISM - Sexual gratification through receiving pain and humiliation from others.
MASTER/SLAVE - Participants in a bondage and discipline sexual relationship (see B&D; BONDAGE; DISCIPLINE; BDSM).
MATROOM /MATTRESS ROOM - (see GROUP ROOM).
MBC - Married Black Couple.
MBiC - Married Bisexual Couple.
MEET & GREET (M&G) - A swinger event, usually held in a public place, for the purpose of meeting other swingers.
MEET FOR PLEASURE - Will meet for swinging sex; no pretense for social or emotional interaction not directly related to sexual activity.
MENAGE A TROIS - Three people, two of one sex, one of the opposite sex in a swinging interaction (see THREESOME, TRIAD).
MFM or MMF - Threesome involving two men and one woman (see THREESOME). MFM may but not always refers to two straight males and a female, while MMF refers to two bi-males and a female.
MILF - "Mom I'd Like to Fuck" - used to refer to older women that are attractive.
MIXERS PROVIDED - Used to indicate that the club/party will provide mixers (juice, sodas, ice) for those in attendance but you will need to bring your own alcohol (see BYOB).
MORESOMES - More than three people in a swinging interaction (see GROUP SEX).
MWC - Married White Couple.
NASCA - The North American Swing Club Association. An association of swing clubs and magazines to promote swinging as the viable and beneficial lifestyle it has become.
NEWBIES - New people in swinging; First-timers.
NSA - No Strings Attached. Sex without any expectations beyond that encounter.
OFF-PREMISE - No swinging takes place at the club or party; you meet and make your own arrangements. Great for newcomers.
ON-PREMISE - A club where sexual play is allowed. Private and Public rooms are usually provided for play.
OPEN DOOR - (see OPEN SWINGING).
OPEN RELATIONSHIP - A relationship in which participants are free to take other partners; may or may not be a polyamorous couple; may or may not be a swinging couple. If the couple is married they may describe themselves as having an open marriage.
OPEN SWINGING - A couple swinging with another couple in the same room; Several or all participating couples together in the same room. A minimum of privacy.
ORGY
Sexual interaction among several men and women in the same room; Complete absence of inhibition in everyone taking part; group sex.
PARTY - Gathering of three or more people of both sexes for swinging.
PARTY CLOTHES - Clothing particularly adapted for swing party wear, Includes wear to the party and wear to change into during the party. The latter includes robes, lingerie, terry cloth wrap-arounds and other simple wear that is easily removed, shows the wearer to best advantage and often makes selected parts of the body easily available for erotic courting and play.
PARTY HOUSE - A non-membership swing club offering a regular schedule of on-premise swing parties.
PASSIVE - Quiet, submissive non-contributor, willing to receive corrective training. Docile and submissive in swinging (see DISCIPLINE).
PASSIVELY BI - A male or female that will accept same sex touch/ attention but will not return it (i.e. you can go down on me, but I don't go down on you).
PHOTOGRAPHY - Interested in exchange and/or making of nude or sexually explicit photographs, color slides or movies with similar photographs, slides or movies of others; interested in meeting with others for the making of these photographs.
PLAYDAR - That internal feeling you get that another couple may also be swingers (think Gaydar for swingers).
POLYAMORY - A love relationship involving more than two people.
P/P - Photo and phone number (used in personal ads).
PRO - Professional; i.e. prostitutes or paid escorts.
RECREATIONAL SWINGER - A person who practices swinging primary as a recreational diversion; not interested in forming any long-term friendship or emotional attachment.
RESTRAINT - Mild bondage used in sexual fantasy enactments.
ROMAN - Group sex, orgies, the party scene, etc. (see ROMAN CULTURE).
ROMAN CULTURE - Sexual orgies.
RUBBER - Condom means of contraception; sexual stimulation through the look, feel and smell of rubber, usually associated with B&D.
SAFE - Used to describe a person who cannot conceive or impregnate; a man who has had a vasectomy; Naturally or surgically sterile.
SAME ROOM - Refers to playing together in the same room. May include soft swinging or full-swap.
SAME ROOM SWAP - Refers to swapping partners in the same room. As opposed to SEPARATE ROOM.
SBF - Single Black Female.
SBiF - Single Bisexual Female.
SBM - Single Black Male.
SEPARATE ROOM - Couples will split up and go into separate rooms to swap partners.
SGL - Single (see SINGLE).
S&M or S/M - Sadism and Masochism (see SADISM; MASOCHISM; BDSM).
SCAT - refers to the sexual use or excitement by excrement/fecal matter.
SDC - refers to the website Swingers Date Club.
SINGLE - A swinger without a partner, does not refer to marital status.
SLS - refers to SwingLifestyle.com, one of the more popular swinger ad sites.
SOCIAL - A party, dance or other gathering usually sponsored by a swing club or magazine, for swingers to meet and socialize. There is no swinging at a social, but privately arranged swinging may follow a social.
SOCIAL SWING CLUB - A swing club, generally private membership that offers social and swinging activities including a regular schedule of on-premise swing parties. They may also offer educational and travel activities. Usually there is a membership fee and either party fees, party donations or a regular maintenance fee or dues. Party attendance may be restricted to couples though the marital status of the couple is rarely important.
SOCIALLY BI - (see BI-COMFORTABLE).
SODOMY - Non-coital, especially anal or oral, copulation with either an opposite sex or same sex partner.
SOFT SWINGERS - Couples who only have intercourse with their own partner. No swapping for intercourse.
SOFT SWAP - Two couples exchanging partners for certain types of sexual activity (defined by the couples involved); if intercourse takes place it is only between primary partners (see FULL SWAP).
SOFT SWINGING - The term used to describe same-room sex, watching/being watched, or any sexual encounter up to, but not including intercourse, with someone other than your spouse. The first experience for many couples some type of soft-swinging. (see HARD SWINGING, HARD CORE).
SRS - Same Room Sex (see SOFT SWINGING).
STD - Sexually Transmitted Disease. A term developed in the late 1970's to replace VD as the latter carried social and moral implications in the minds of many. These social and moral implications interfered with the legitimate treatment of sexually transmitted diseases as a medical problem.
STI – (see STD).
STR or STR8 - straight (see STRAIGHT).
STRAIGHT - Any person who is not interested in engaging in homosexual activity or a person who does not use drugs; also used by swingers to denote non-swinging people.
SUBMISSIVE - Passive, wishes to be dominated (see PASSIVE).
SWAP PICS - Interested in exchange of nude or sexually explicit photos of self with similar photos of others.
SWAPPING - Two couples exchanging partners for sexual activity (see SOFT SWAP; FULL SWAP).
SWEDISH CULTURE - Use of the hands especially in massage to sexually stimulate another.
SWF - Single White Female.
SWM - Single White Male.
SWING MAGAZINE – How swingers connected pre-internet. A periodical catering to the swinging community. Usually carries personal ads of people wishing to meet others for swinging purposes. May also publish articles of general interest to the swinging community.
SWINGING - An alternative lifestyle for consenting adults who enjoy social, recreational sexual activities with others, most often on a couple-to-couple basis, with full knowledge and mutual consent of both partners; single men and women are sometimes involved.
SWINGING LIFESTYLE - Style of living with swinging a major component in recreation, choice of friends, business and social life, and intimate relationships.
SWINGING MARRIAGE - Marriage incorporating swinging and often, humanistic ideals.
SWM - Single White Male.
THREESOME - Three people, two of one sex and one of the other in a swinging encounter (see MENAGE A TROIS).
TICKET - A person, usually a woman, brought to a swing party solely to enable the male to gain entrance. The ticket generally has no intention to swing or is not free to swing.
TOYS - Sexual aids (see MARITAL AIDS).
TRANSGENDERED - Individual who does not identify with his/her biologically assigned sex. Not related to sexual orientation.
TRANSSEXUAL - Individual who has undergone conversion from one gender to another through surgery and hormone treatments; or one who is in the process of gender conversion.
TRANSVESTITE - A person who receives sexual gratification by wearing clothes identified with the opposite sex; not necessarily homosexual.
TRAVEL - (see CAN TRAVEL).
TRIAD - Three people, two of one sex and one of the other in a continuing relationship of emotional and sexual involvement. Not the same as a threesome.
TRIOLISM - Used in personal ads to indicate desire for sexual threesomes but is not the same as TRIAD.
TUBAL LIGATION - Surgical procedure of cutting and tying the Fallopian tubes to make a woman infertile. Also called a Band Aid Operation in reference to the small incision made just below the navel to enable the cutting and ligation.
UNICORN - a single female, bisexual or straight, who is willing to have sex with a couple. To some, that seems mythical. Hence, the name/title.
UTOPIAN SWINGER - A person who practices swinging as a total lifestyle with humanistic ideals.
VANILLA - Typically refers to non-swingers (i.e. "vanilla friends").
VASECTOMY - Surgical procedure of cutting and tying the vas deferens to artificially sterilize a male.
VERSATILE - Bisexual (see AC/DC).
VIBRATOR - Electrically run vibrating device for stimulation of the vagina by insertion or holding to outer lips, clitoris, breasts and the male penis. Some vibrators are penile shaped and are run by batteries while more expensive ones are for surface use and are run by an AC motor from a typical wall outlet. Vibrators are used by both men and women for self-stimulation and to sexually please another.
VOLUPTUOUS - Fullness of beauty and form; usually used to refer to a woman with large well-formed breasts; may also refer to full but well formed hips.
VOYEUR - A person who enjoys watching others in sexual acts.
VOYEURISM - Sexual gratification by watching or peeping at others engaged in sexual activity.
WATERSPORTS - Typically refers to urine play (see GOLDEN SHOWER).
WAY-OUTS/ WEIRDOS - Those people interested in activities usually considered by the majority to be bizarre, kinky, unusual, or unconventional.
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