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Artie, Artie. What happened to us?

Artie, Artie. What ever happened to us? I went to the high-school reunion hoping you would be there. Then I heard from my former heart-throb, Mary, that you had collapsed while at your office, just three months before, a heart attack, you did not make it. Oh, God. What happened to us? Why did we not stay in-touch? What kind of life did you have? A good one, I hope. We were such great friends. You and I had our first illegal alcoholic drink at a piano bar in Wildwood. We had our first l
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Blue skies, nothing but blue skies

It has been a very nice weekend. Dusted off my fifty-years-old eighty-power, reflector telescope yesterday evening and took advantage of the remarkably clear sky to observe the mountains of the Moon. I wondered what Galileo thought to himself when he first say these mountains. "Oh, shit. When the Pope hears about this, my ass is grass." Or maybe he was simply caught up in the wonder of it, like I was. I hope it is clear again this evening.
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Upcoming Events

1) Dr. Ruth Westheimer will be here in Pittsburgh next Wednesday (Vel, dat's normal). We gettin' cranked.   2) We're going to a party this evening (In preparation, I've been snacking on pineapple chunks all week).
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Beautiful View

This evening there is the most beautiful view on the Eastern horizon. The sun has set and the planet Venus shines brightly. Above her is the crescent moon. I can recall no time in my life that I have not known the positions of the visible planets and the moon. I feel connected.   ~Michael
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Fallen in Love with the Woman on the Jewel Case

I have fallen in love with the woman whose picture is on the jewel case. One snowy early morning a few weeks ago, I heard on the car radio the last few minutes of Mendelssohn's Concerto for Violin and Orchestra. It was simply beautiful. When I returned home, I visited the radio station's Web site, look it up and ordered the music CD. After it arrived, I adjusted the mood lighting in the music room, put the CD into the compact disc player, set the volume to a moderate level, took the jewel ca
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Boeuf Bourguignon

Oh, my. What a very nice Saturday evening we had. One of our lifestyles friends can over to our home, prepared boeuf bourguignon and serve it as dinner for six. Accompanied by a nice California red table wine, it was so very good that I was distracted entirely, in spite of the alluring assemblage at the table, from any thoughts of sex. And that's saying a lot. Enduring friendship does develop out of relationship that begin casual.   ~Michael
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Worse Than Kids

My Mom and Dad live about six hours driving distance. Sometimes I think the only time they get out of their house is when JoAnn and visit and push them out the door. Don't get me wrong. We are both happy that they are so very healthy considering their number of years. We visited recently and had two plans in-mind even before we showed up.   1) Encourage them to go with us to the local cineplex to see a good movie like Avatar or Invictus.   2) Convince my Mom that she should have her ow
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An English Speaker’s Guide to On-Line Profiles

Expression or word used in on-line personals advertisement ---> English   Life of the party ---> Hide your liquor bottles. Fun loving ---> Hide your wife. Not Ken and Barbie ---> Herman and Lili Must be discreet ---> I’m married and my wife has no idea I am doing this. Afternoons are best ---> I’m married and my wife has no idea I am doing this. Will try anything once ---> Crossing my fingers that you don’t take this literally. We’re just the couple next door ---&g
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This Month's Theme -- No-Alcohol Playmates

The last few couples with whom we have made an initial contact do no drink alcoholic beverage. All of the play dates for the last month had been entirely without beer, wine, or distilled spirit. We in no way planned it this way. It simply happened. For the record, we both like our alcohol. And we have no problem about playmates bending an elbow or tipping a glass. But we also realize that if nobody else is having it, we don't miss it.   ~Michael
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The Valentino Handbag

This afternoon, I received a call from JoAnn. She was at Nordstrom's. She was looking at a Valentino handbag. She says it is the most beautiful creation she had ever seen. It's beautiful, like a work of art, the leather so supple; she can smell it; she can look at it; she can feel it! And the price is only $2,000. She asks, can I have it, can I have it? My mind races. How can she do this to me? I am stepping out of a meeting to answer her phone call. Doesn't she think my time is import
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The Sideshow

The lifestyle, as people like to call it, has been good to JoAnn and I, especially in the last couple of years during which we found our stride. This position gives us the advantage of being able to laugh off the silly things that happen. This month's sideshow act is Married Men Going It Alone. I'm perceiving a "surge" of messaging activity at this bulletin board. Our Swing Lifestyle inbox has received three messages in succession from married men who report having "permission". It could se
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A Travelogue

Thus begins the Chronicle of the very rewarding vacation trip taken by Michael and JoAnn of The Swingersboard in the month of the Emperor Julius and in Year of Our Lord, two-thousand and nine.   Our vacation was planned around the Meet-up in Gatlinburg. But that was the only destination that was planned ahead. For the other days that we would be away from home and obligations, we simply loaded our travel bags and ourselves into the Prius each morning and headed off on a whim toward one of t
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An evening that has given a reason to reflect

A Reflection: You do not find the elusive unicorn; she finds you.   JoAnn and I had a pleasant evening as the house guests of a very gracious couple. Some of the other guests were people of our acquaintance; other were new. All were connected by acquaintanceship with the host and hostess. The evening's experience has left me with an overall feeling of wellbeing and satisfaction. Unhappily, JoAnn is feeling a bit delicate over the fact that none of the men paid her a proper attention. As
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Rub-a-dub, three maids in a tub . . .

Hey! Rub-a-dub, ho! rub-a-dub, three maids in a tub, And who do you think were there? The butcher, the baker, the candlestick-maker, And all of them gone to the fair.   Mother Goose's Quarto or Melodies Complete, published in Boston, Mass., 1825   JoAnn has said many times that I fail to relax in a social situation because I make orgasm my primary goal for the evening. Friday evening's fun has proved the correctness of her advice.   It was cold at the mountain-top home to which we had be
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The party was a great success.

We have learned that hosting a house party costs not much more than a Saturday evening at a swinger's club. Economy does not mean we need to compromise on the table we set for our guests.   We are now feeling better about our engagement in The Lifestyle than we ever have. We enjoyed the company of eleven other couples, all people of our acquaintance but not all with whom we have played, previous play not being required for receiving an invitation. The preparations for the party were simple
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Do’s and Don’ts of On-line Profiles

Do: Buy a subscription at the Web site where you have your on-line profile. Swinging is not a poor-man’s sport. When people see “Free Member”, they wonder who is going to be left to pick up the tab at the restaurant or pay for the hotel room.   Do: Include at least one picture. The only people who lack the knowledge for uploading a digital picture or the funds to buying a digital camera live on a small island in Patagonia where there are no swingers.   Do: Show yourselves together in a
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Acting surprised

My work involves the technical orientation of new-hire employees. These employees travel from all over north America to my district office, staying multiple nights at a local hotel. I overheard one of them at lunch time telling some people, "you'll never guess what happened to me last night." He continues, "this man and woman at the hotel lounge are telling me that they had come to town to see the football game on Sunday afternoon. So we began to talk sports and other such things. Then this g
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tips for hosting an enjoyable house party

This is not meant to be a complete guide to having a house party. But having recently hosted one at our own home and having been a guest at another couple's home, we thought we would assemble a few tips we hope will be helpful for those who are contemplating having a party of their own.   If you do not already have one, buy a massage table.   Send invitations saying where, when, general nature of the event, and include a list of who has been invited. Describe party etiquette and expected b
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Deception

JoAnn says to me, "we're going to a movie tonight. Lara Spencer says it's about swingers." Well, in case you might have heard the same, it's not. One of the plot devices is a "sex club". Characters from the movie carry cell phones that have coded numbers in their contact lists. You pick a code number, call, name a place, nominally an exclusive kind of five-star hotel, and a beautiful, young, shapely blond shows up and has sex with you. If this is what Lara Spencer perceives as swinging, sh
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Club Review

This bulletin board has a club-review forum but it appears the club owner needs to enter information about the club before any reviews can be posted. So we thought we would make a club review the subject of our first "blog".   During our recent visit to Lexington, Kentucky, we visited the Bluegrass Connections. Every club seems to have its unique character but this one fits us nicely. On top of our list of appreciated features, the music they play is held to a level that actually allows people
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