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Trust, Instinct, and Luck

How do we decide whom to trust in the lifestyle? Are we too trusting at times? Other times, do we cheat ourselves out of some good times by not trusting enough? A few things have made me wonder about this question lately.   If you read my last blog entry, you know CXXC and I had a fabulous time alone together. I had absolutely no qualms about going off alone with him. He's been posting here for years, and what he writes shows him consistently to be a person of good character. We've corres
The Fuse

The Fuse

14
 

She Said, He Said

I can't quite decide where to begin... except to try to describe what sets CXXC apart from other playmates. There is a degree of perceptiveness, of what is working and what might work better... he read my body like a book and then played it like a violin. He is unusually aware of subtle signals (as well as not-so-subtle ones). It helped that he had *thoroughly* interviewed me a few weeks beforehand on my sexual likes and dislikes. I think there may have been Space Shuttle missions that were
The Fuse

The Fuse

6
 

Karma

Earlier this week, we canceled plans for tonight with a single male we know. We canceled because a new couple we're trying to meet said they could get a sitter, but only for tonight, not for Friday night as we had previously discussed.   The fact that I'm sitting here writing this, gives a pretty good hint at what's happened. Our new couple had their sitter cancel on them. I suppose we could have tried to do something else, but we didn't. We're.... just.... here. We pretty much got what
The Fuse

The Fuse

9
 

See what happens when you stop trying so hard?

A couple of months ago I wrote about Taking a Few Steps Away from the Lifestyle. I'd decided, basically, not to try so hard, and also to back off on certain situations that were causing the two of us to feel a strain. So, naturally, since I'm not trying, now is the time our social life within the lifestyle has taken off on its own. Between a few really fun house parties, couples who have made the first move online or in person, and serendipity, we have been very active and have had several reall
The Fuse

The Fuse

10
 

The New Year's Eve I've Always Wanted, But Never Had... 'Till Now!

We have a long history of not doing anything really fun New Year's Eve, at least most of the years we've been together. Sometimes life has interfered, sometimes we've just been wimps, and who knows what else. This is the first New Year's Eve out of the three we've been swinging that we went to a lifestyle event. And wow, what a party. It was a pretty perfect setup. It was a private house party given by a couple we met around two years ago. They are one of those couples everyone wants to kn
The Fuse

The Fuse

12
 

Taking a few steps away from the lifestyle

Recently, Mr. Fuse and I have not felt quite the same rush of excitement when it comes to swinging. Don't get me wrong, we both still enjoy it a lot. It's hard to put my finger on what's going on. I am full of contradictions and unable to articulate... but one thing I feel strongly is that we will not be trying as hard anymore to find dates. We'll be more likely to pass up a party or meet and greet and either stay in or do something vanilla.   It's probably partly because we've had what I c
The Fuse

The Fuse

11
 

Taking those chances when they come

Last night I went to a weekly gathering at a local bar. It's a good group of people, very social and relaxed. We try to go most Tuesdays. Mr. Fuse is out of town this week, so I went by myself.   The group organizer is a guy whose wife Mr. Fuse has been with once when we were in a group play situation. I had zeroed in on another man that night, and by the time we were done I didn't want to start all over again. That was several months ago and we've been trying to schedule something with th
The Fuse

The Fuse

4
 

The Search for Truly Compatible Couples Continues

We've been going out a lot lately. And truly, we've been having a very good time. But we still haven't hit that jackpot -- the couple that is really compatible. The ones where attraction is there in all the right combinations, where they live reasonably close (like within an hour), where schedules are manageable, where we enjoy socializing together... and the most important thing: all four people involved want to see each other on a continuing basis.   Now that I wrote that all down, i
The Fuse

The Fuse

11
 

My Maiden Solo Voyage

I don't have any real reason to post this, except that I was thinking about it...   Last night Mr. Fuse and I had planned to go to a house party. My main hope in going was to play with the male half of a couple we know. Mr. Fuse is not a match with his wife, so under our current "rules", the only way I could hope to play with him was at a house party where people were mixing it up. The guy and I had kind of made a date to be together at this party, and I was really looking forward to it, hop
The Fuse

The Fuse

6
 

"Not meeting new couples at this time."

For the first time since we started in the lifestyle three and a half years ago, Mr. Fuse and I are "not meeting new couples". This feels strange to me, and not that good. It was not on my initiative. The strangeness comes from the feeling that this is the first time we are moving in the general direction away from swinging, rather than further into it. I say the general direction because we are not quitting... we're just saying we're not meeting anyone new. We are seeing two couples regula
The Fuse

The Fuse

10
 

A little melancholy... but shouldn't be

So last night we had friends over to grill out. We sat in our screened-in porch and had good conversation over burgers, wine, salad, tater tots and fresh fruit. These are people we played with once last fall and got really excited about. Turns out it wasn't a match on a sexual level, which was a big disappointment for us. But on a much happier note, we have continued to see them as friends, probably five or six times since then. In all ways except sexually (again, a bummer), I doubt we have
The Fuse

The Fuse

8
 

When It Rains...

Suddenly, over the past few weeks, we've had more activities than we actually prefer. I'm sure we've not been this active outside of a poly relationship or weeklong vacation with playmates.   Mr. Fuse and I had sort of settled on an approach of casting many lines, because we found over time that most of the time the hooks came back empty. We'd also started taking the attitude that when we get a chance to play that we're excited about, we should take it. There had been too many times when a
The Fuse

The Fuse

2
 

Anticipation: The Realization (or: Part 3)

If you happened to see my other two "Anticipation" blog entries, you might remember that we still had a date with couple #2 last Saturday night. Well, the date was all that we were hoping and more, especially for Mr. Fuse. In case you don't know from my other posts, Mr. Fuse is usually the one who doesn't make connections easily. In the case of this couple, his connection with her was pretty immediate. She is something of a "perfect storm" playmate. Actually, their personalities are somewh
The Fuse

The Fuse

9
 

Anticipation: The Followup

So we had two very good dates on Saturday and on Monday. One has already had some fallout though... if we're being optimists we call these "growing pains" or "learning experiences".   Saturday was great... turns out it was greater for me than for Mr. Fuse. It was one of those times when there is an imbalance between how well the guy and I get on, and how well Mr. Fuse and the lady get on. We've had those imbalances in both directions, as I'm sure most couples can attest happens pretty freque
The Fuse

The Fuse

4
 

Anticipation....

Mr. Fuse and I have plans to meet not one, but two, potentially great couples over the next few days. I've got my fingers crossed; bring on the jokes.   The first couple we meet tomorrow night (Saturday). This is one of those rare and welcome occasions when a couple made first contact with us and we are interested. They are not really a couple; they're two singles who've been dating for about a month. He has previous experience as a single male, and she is very eager to explore the things t
The Fuse

The Fuse

7
 

Missed opportunities

Mr. Fuse and I are home recovering from a cold. We were supposed to be doing something vanilla all weekend, but canceled that due to just feeling wiped and not wanting to get anyone else sick. We have been hiding out at home. Mr. Fuse figured out how to play Netflix "Play Now" movies on our TV, and we've been OD'ing on movies. Gotta love modern technology.   Of course, since we weren't making any plans, we had multiple opportunities to go out and have a good time. One was a house party org
The Fuse

The Fuse

4
 

Great time at Entre Nous in D.C.

... or, "Some Nights You Feel Like a Nut, Some Nights You Don't".   Mr. Fuse and I live in southeastern Virginia. We had a reason to be a couple of hours closer to D.C. on Saturday, and a reason to be in Baltimore on Sunday afternoon. So we decided to go to Entre Nous in D.C. on Saturday night.   EN is a swinger's club that seems to have a traveling home -- their weekly events have changed venues a couple of times recently. In March, we went to one of their events at a club called Liv, wi
The Fuse

The Fuse

2
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