Just got home from my biopsy and I am pissed off. I'm a lot more calm than I was... but xanax helps. We were told they would give me a sedative before the biopsy which was going to be a good thing IMO. And since that was the case I did not take a xanax. Had I known they were lying I would have. We got there on time and the girl called me back to the ultrasound room and when I asked her about the sedative she gave me a strange look. I told her they had told me there would be a sedative... had I known there would not be I would have taken a xanax. She called the nurse (the same one who told me there would be one) and she came in and said "oh no, we don't give it to everyone mostly just the older ladies. You won't need it, you'll be fine. Besides this way you won't be knocked out and you can enjoy the rest of your day..." " Well, that would be great but you see my husband who was sitting next to me when you told me there would be a sedative and therefore I would need someone to drive me home took the rest of the day off so that he could come drive me home." (not that he probably wouldn't have taken off to go with me anyway). So I'm laying there annoyed and pissed and debating hopping up off the damn table and running out to Paul and my purse for a freakin xanax to calm me down. Then problem #2 starts. The ultrasound tech girl starts coughing. She's not wearing a mask or gloves as she's pulling out the needles and such getting ready for whatever. She sneezes and I'm like she better wash her damn hands... and she finally does. Then she coughs again and I can't take it anymore so I asked her to go put on a mask. She did. But, damn, come on isn't that kind of like a required thing? You are handling things that are going in my body and you are coughing and sneezing all over them!!!

This continues and I'm laying there getting more and more anxious and stressed out when the dr finally comes in. He asks how I am in that way that you know he doesn't care if I give him an answer so I didn't. I just laid there, hoping it would be over soon.

There were two areas that had to be biopsied and the plan was that since they were fairly close they could do it with one incision. The incision and the first biopsy go pretty easily, uncomfortable to say the least but over fairly quickly. Then they spin the bed around to get to the second one (from the same incision). He injects it with numbing whatever a few times and every time it HURT. I said "ow". He says "let me know if that hurts". Didn't I just fucking say OW, what do you think that means. So I said it again. He gave me another shot. Then starts shoving that damn probe down in my breast again and evidently he couldn't get to the second spot from the same incision but damn if he didn't keep trying and it hurt like a MoFo. Finally he decides he's not going to get it from that angle and I think at that point he realized I was less than ok. I was laying there entire time just trying to breath and it was actually a great effort for me to say "ow". I don't know what he said but I went off and told him that his nurse lied to me about a sedative and the whole reason I ever ended up getting a mammogram was based around stress issues and NO I was not alright I was freaking out. He was like "well we can finish this another time if you'd rather". "NO, Just get it DONE!". They finally spun the bed back around and made a new incision and managed to suck the second piece out of me.

I was definately ready to get the hell out of there when I left and I was pissed. I'd basically already had one panic attack on the table and I was still shaking when i walked out. I told Pet what happened and he was pissed too. I've had a xanax now so I think he's probably more upset than I am at this point.