I guess at this time of year many folks tend to be introspective and I'm no exception.

We've been swinging for about 6 months and mostly experienced house parties along with a few friendly two-couple get-togethers.

We began with an agreement that this was an experiment for us - after a fair trial period, we'd evaluate our preferences and make a decision to continue or not. We agreed to not hold ourselves or each other accountable for any negative feelings that may arise because of our activities. We agreed to communicate openly and candidly about our perceptions and to not take offense from anything said or done (yeah, that's easier said than done). Not a license to cheat, but a license to explore ourselves and each other. And as always, we'd respect each other's preferences and look out for each other where ever we were. The worst that would likely happen is that we discover an experience that we'd rather not repeat. We knew STDs were a risk and that's one of the reasons recurring house parties looked like a good opportunity for us.

In the beginning, we were fearful of the unknown - there HAS to be a good reason mainstream society doesn't embrace swinging as a sexually healthy activity. Much like a toddler learning to move about, we must learn to stand before we can walk and we must learn to walk before we can run. The floor looks so hard and so far away - it will surely hurt when we fall. We'll be there for each other when we do. And we won't let the first fall deter us from additional exploration.

We read so much advise about talk, talk, talk - and that we did, but we were never sure we'd discussed everything we needed to. I read through years of old threads on this board and found a local member and I liked the way he thinks. He agreed to help us figure it out and they became our mentors. At some point, we built a profile and decided to give it a try. We did the typical email-phone-dinner thing with a few couples, which helped us refine our preferences and conclude that there must be a better way.

We found a house party that was described as beginner friendly and signed up. They were indeed friendly, understanding and very close to normal - we felt very welcomed. We were feeling GOOD and sexually excited, we wanted each other. We could imagine ourselves having sex with those folks - maybe..... One month later, at the next party, we played and really enjoyed ourselves. We owe much of our success to their thoughtful consideration.

We've made the decision to continue swinging, it's no longer an experiment - it's an adventure. There are still a few swinging options we want to try (mostly threesomes), but there's no hurry. And we're quite content with our current pace - once a month or so, maybe skipping a month here and there. Swinging is not a priority for us, just something we do for occasional fun. But what's the best compromise between keeping good friends and infrequent swinging with a preference for variety in our playmates?

We've grown as individuals and as a couple, as if swinging was some kind of nourishment for the soul. Probably not swinging actually, but the preparation for successful swinging encouraged the internal explorations and the growth. Either way, we're happy with the new us.....