As someone who has been a counsellor for many years, I am always somewhat surprised by the number of men who begin seeking advice on how they "can get their wife (or SO or girlfriend) to relax and enjoy the swinging experience." More often than not they are trying to get their partner involved in a fmf relationship to fufill their own personal fantasy.

However for all you guys who find yourself longing for 100% participation remember, a true swinging relationship is about mutual decisions and pleasures. Mutual fantasies must take precedent over individual ones if you are both going to relax and enjoy the ride. This involves communication and trust at the highest level.

Talk about your mutual fantasies in detail as a couple before discussing individual fantasies. You never know what desires you may have in common. Place your self at a club or party and start talking about what you can see happening as a couple when you walk in. It works and lets you both know how your partner is seeing the evening unfold.

But if a man truly wants to please his partner he must allow her to proceed at her own comfortable pace. For women it is the entire seduction process that fuels her fire and allows her innermost desires to flow more easily.

Whether her individual process takes hours, days, weeks, or even months, it must be honored by her partner so she feels no pressure being forced on her to move at a pace she is uncomfortable with. And force is not a word you want in her mind as she begins to move forward. It's the old one step forward two steps back when force or pressure are at the forefront of her mind.

Pressure from a partner is a death blow to a woman's passion. It's funny, but partner pressure is a common male issue as well and yet we men don't see the pressure we are placing on our women.

Ultimately it is man who provides unconditional support that is the man who will enjoy the swing experience fully. The man who is using Penthouse forum as his psychological guide will end up without his fantasy fulfillment as well as his partner.