A lot of the topics I post to in the forums I find are thought provoking, often with easy to misinterpret responses that would better be served with detailed answers... but I suspect that many readers prefer forum posts to be shorter and therefore a quicker read. Unfortunatly, that can (and often does) result in as many questions on one's view on a subject than answers to the original post! So, in an attempt to provide a more detailed account of my views, I've decided that blogging here might be the way to go. A lot of what will initially be posted here was originally posted on one of my previous blog pages, which had a smaller audience able to view it, but on what turned out to be a much more conservative (read: 'uptight') medium...Yahoo 360. I've been looking for a better place to do my blogging, and thanks to a friend who told me about SB, I do believe I've found it!

A bit of background about us: We are a middle-aged, married, black couple. Prior to meeting and deciding to make a life together, we were both (if you subscribe to todays attempt to re-write the history and nature of swing) 'single swingers' - but we pretty much considered ourselves as doing what young, single people all did then... having sex whenever and with whomever we felt like having it. The numbers of people involved or the combinations weren't a defining factor. As a couple, we have been "in the Lifestyle" together for over 30 years. I put the quotation marks around that because it's never been a primary focus in our lives - not even in the top 10. It's always been simply something that we did when desire and opportunity presented itself. But I suppose you have to call it something, and 'Lifestyle' works as well as any other label. We both had successful careers, raised a great kid, fed mortgages and pursued our portion of the American dream. Our chosen professions mixed with a bit of pre-planning and a lot of luck enabled us to retire relatively early. Said professions also, we feel, exposed us to a lot of people of like mind and because considerable travel was involved, allowed us to meet an incredibly broad spectrum of people. Our views on lifestyle issues have been shaped from this cross-section of Lifestylers..hardly scientific and by no means the last word on the subject - just our take on information inputted.

We consider ourselves lucky in that very early on in our experience as a couple, we met a fantastic, veteran couple who were immensly valuble in helping us to comfortably navigate our way down the path of sexual adventure. They remain two of our dearest friends and we still value their insight and perspective. One of the things that they impressed us with was that like so many things in life, it's hard to accomplish a task without the proper tools... and knowledge is one of the most valuble tools to have when attempting to enjoy this Lifestyle. Those times when we were able to recognize and avoid a potential problem pertaining to situations within the Lifestyle, and thanked them for giving us the education that made it possible - their answer was always the same: "Pass it on to someone else to help them smooth their path!"

Sooooo...Although it's probably been done (probably better) elsewhere in this vast medium know as the Internet, I'm going to put up a series of entries that will hopefully assist newcomers to navigate navigate their path down the road called The Lifestyle (aka swinging). Before we go any further, let's put a couple of things right up front:

First -- I'm by no means an expert or master of all things swing. I'm simply the male half of a lifestyle couple who has had a certain degree of success in enjoying certain aspects of the lifestyle. I do have the additional benefit of several close friends in the lifestyle with whom I exchange views and experiences with, so a lot of the opinions/observations are a compilation of myself and others. What you read in here will be a mindset and methods that allowed us to accomplish our particular lifestyle objectives. It is entirely possible that someone could take an entirely different approach and be just as successfull or even more. To that, I say go for it..there is more than one way to skin a cat, and everyone thinks their way is the best. The truth of the matter is that as long as the cat gets skinned..scoring criteria on the technique used will always be subjective.

Second -- There may be things in here that some may take as a slam against a particular thing, or as presenting a particular group or preference negatively. Get over it...I'm no different than anyone else in that I have likes and dislikes. The thing I am different about is that as long as your thang doesn't interfere with mine, I will always respect your right to do your thing. As in many other facets of society, it is the intrusive behavior of a few inconsiderate individuals that has made for a lot of unpleasantness for the many.

Third -- As the overwhelming amount of our experience in the lifesyle has been as a couple, most of what you read here is going to be from a couples angle. However, we both had some experience in what is nowadays termed 'single swinging' before we met...enough to know that while there is a different dynamic involved, most of the basic principles remain the same. At times, I point out where I see the similarities - but most of you will be able to draw your own parallels.

And Last -- I would be more that happy to go into deeper detail on any point that you may find needs it...we don't always communicate ideas as well as we think we do. All sincere questions will be answered either personally or in the event of multiple WTF's on a particular point, a subsequent blog entry.