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Agendas.... and the people who go with them.

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JustAskJulie

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In the last few weeks I have seen so many people out to promote their own agenda, whether it's their website or their club or whatever. Not just people posting here for that reason but in general.

 

This latest issue with the Nashville clubs has brought the issue into full view for me. I honestly don't know exactly what is going on in Nashville, but I do know that no club is going to cut their own wrist without having reason to do so and Menages isn't about to go off-premise and risk losing business and money without a damn good reason. On the other hand TSC is still business as usual.

 

What does that say to me? It says to me that Menages is looking out for the best interest of not only their club but more importantly their members.

 

I posted regarding the whole Nashville change when I first ran into it on the Yahoo group for one of our local socials. This social is planning a get-away to Nashville in August and after a bit of discussion in the group and it being made clear that TSC has not changed (note that TSC is the favorite among this particular group) I was told in an email to discontinue any discussion of the Nashville events in the group. Another member said that they felt it never should have been brought up. The reasons behind both of those emails is because they feel that it will have a negative impact on THEIR group (turn out is low because it's summer - and they are worried about turn-out being low for the Nashville trip because of this negative press). And they don't like that newbies are being exposed to this negative side of swinging. Well guess what folks, there are negatives sides of swinging.

 

In my email back to the Group Owner (social host) I pointed out that socials and clubs need to take responsibility and stop just trying to cover their own asses but think about their members as well and make sure that they are doing what they should be doing to stay within the law. I also pointed out exactly what he was doing with his social that would be questionable and could lead to serious issues not only for the club as a whole, but more importantly for the location where their parties are held and the members.

 

Guess what folks, swinging has risks! And people should know about the risks as well as the good things before they make the choice to swing. We shouldn't shelter newbies from the potential risks of swinging, and we especially shouldn't do so because we are worried about the effect that it might have on our club, website, group, etc.

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I've been back-tracking through some of the threads to try and figure out what is going on here. I found the info. about the Nashville clubs and what is happening there (yikes), but I was confused about the "sheltering newbies from the negative side of swinging" and the "risks" involved. Aside from all the common sense stuff I can imagine (i.e. bad choices, disease, rejection, fears, the politics behind closing clubs or limiting them), what negative sides are people talking about? Also...the risks...is there something I'm missing. I don't check the board as often as I probably should, so when interesting and big issues like this come up and lots of people start their own threads about, I sometimes have a difficult time summarizing it or synthesizing it. Could you point me in the right direction? Thanks!

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The comment that I quoted actually came from a member of a local Yahoo group. The risk/negatives in relation to the Nashville clubs... is that many clubs are not operating legally, or even if they are legal they put their agenda (making money) above protecting themselves and their members from the potential risk of media/gov. agencies etc coming in/trying to shut them down.

 

My guess is that they also worry that if newbies get scared that bad things might happen at clubs that they might not show up at their local club (or go with them on their planned trip to the Nashville club)... again it's about their agenda rather than concern for the actual people involved.

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Are people afraid of getting in legal trouble for attending these clubs...or having their names published? And what kinds of "bad things" might happen at clubs...are you talking physical safety or identity or legal?

 

Just wondering. We joined a club in Feb...but it's in Seattle. However, I'm sure we aren't immune to the sort of thing happening in Nashville. Seems everyone wants to check up on everyone else and make sure someone else isn't having more fun than they are.

 

Geez...if they don't like the swings, they should find another game or get off the playground...no need to give up recess just because one person can't play nice!

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There are always risks with clubs. You may want to read through some of the threads in the "Swinging at Clubs" forum, and you'll see posts there even from club owners, explaining some things that they go through. Even if the club is 100% legal and being run correctly, they run the risk of the media trying to get in, or if the local government decides they don't want the club there they will find a reason to cause problems in an effort to shut them down. Clubs have on many occasions been raided (by the law for any number of reasons - real or created) resulting in the patrons names showing up in the newspaper. And this is LEGAL clubs.

 

Then you go from that to many of the clubs/socials that exist are not being run legally (they have not taken the time to ensure that they are doing what needs to be done to make sure they are legal - you can't just say you are a private membership club, there are actual steps that have to be taken, and information that has to be kept on file). When a club is operating outside of the legal realm then they just open the door for the local law to come after them.

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I think if someone makes a conscious effort to hide risks from someone else, it's a red flag situation. First, they have a more complete understanding of the risks to base their decision on and deny others that opportunity. Second, they percieve the risks as "significant", otherwise there would be little need to hide them. Third (and most significant), they've established their own preferences at a higher value than others. It would make me wonder what information they may be hiding from ME (because they think it would likely change my decision).

 

If I had reliable evidence that an individual was manipulating others by "adjusting" information significant to decision process, I'd be extra careful about trusting them.

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Funny, I have yet to get any sort of response from the local social host (or any on the planning committee that I responded to regarding the fact that newbies should be made aware of the risks). We'd been thinking for a while that this particular social wasn't really the best fit for us, and I think this incident was like the final nail in the coffin for that thought.

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