After the past two months of reading and answering posts from all sorts of NEWBIES, about how to get started.. I have decided to sit and write a few random thoughts down, to help in those wildest of pursuits.. This Lifestyle.. Or Swinging..

It doesn’t matter what it is about the fun that can be partaken of, adding a third, getting together with another couple, or going to a party/club and getting in a big pile of human flesh, something about all of this has stimulated the brain cells and in reply stimulated other parts as well..

I have answered a few posts privately, and explained what has worked for some that over the years I have talked to.. The suggestion I usually offer is simply this.. Before you can get involved as a couple, you need to get the other person thinking like you.. It doesn’t matter if it’s a girlfriend/wife, or boyfriend/husband.. The topic needs to be brought up in a manner that they will be receptive to..

The best suggestion I can make is, when you get in bed, for a nice session of private fun, as the hands are starting to roam, bring your fantasies up.. Simple stuff.. Something like, imagine another hand here, or there.. Maybe a mouth, tongue .. Or any other body part.. And try to gauge the reaction..

Its usually either and instant one, a big turn on or instant turn off.. If its all good, keep it going.. If its not, drop it, and come back at it another time..

Another way, is to start off, with something different.. Dim the lights, and get in bed together, and rather than letting the hands roam on each other, place your partners hand in that special places, and while they stimulate themselves, weave a story for them.. And ask them to add to it.. Or tell them one of your fantasies, and ask them to tell you one of theirs.

One of the biggest things about getting involved with this lifestyle as a couple is, its not about just sport sex, but using WHATEVER you are doing, to enhance what you already have.

Ask any person, Male or Female, that have been involved for even a little while and we can all tell you that there have been times when we were engaging with a nice session that the thoughts of a hot time have come back to ramp up what we are already enjoying.. Memories are great..

Figuring out what each of you are into, want to try, might consider can be half the fun.. How about this for an example:

Another Example:

There are times when the thoughts we hold most dear are considered by us, to be “too dirty” or “too out there” that we don’t share them. And as is often the case, the other person is harboring ideas/fantasies that can be just as erotic, or flat out hot as hell.

The first rule of thumb is, If you are in a relationship, discussing this wild new world with your SO (significant other).. There are two significant keys to this, the first is TRUST.. If they trust you, that can be the biggest help in getting those thoughts to the light of day between you both.. The other is Honesty.. We hear on the news all the time, of people who thought they knew this person or that one.. Only to find they were NOTHING like that idea they held.

There is a phrase I love:

Same applies here, with one significant difference, these are the INTIMATE THOUGHTS.. If the sweet demure girl you have lovingly shared your life with for 10 years tells you she wants to tie you up, and show you what is like when you want anal sex.. Be PREPARED. If the loving mother of your children, tells you she held thoughts of being seduced by the kid that cuts the grass.. BE PREPARED..

In this case you are delving into the intimate thoughts, and fantasies, of another person, and you never really know what another person might be thinking. That is where the first key point comes in.. TRUST.. Because these are things that they have never told another person, you need to be open minded, and NEVER judge.

If its someone’s deepest fantasy to be Wonder Woman, and taken captive, and made to do all sorts of nasty things.. So be it.. No Worries, unless of course it’s a MALE (JOKING), but seriously , So what..

Suppose for the sake of argument, as you are sharing your fantasies, it comes out that, you aren’t hung up on a same sex encounter, and wouldn’t mind trying.. Being honest might just lead to a place you never considered..

Which is why being honest is the other important key.. In this lifestyle we all have encountered the couple where one or the other really isn’t into it, and we can usually tell when they are just doing it for the other partner.. NEVER DO THIS..

NEVER DO ANYTHING YOU DO NOT WANT TO, or TRY ANYTHING YOU AREN’T INTO.. For another person.. And asking for that person to do it is WORSE.

If you start sharing your intimate thoughts on what you find a turn on, and they share theirs as well, you are well on your way.

Now If you follow my blogs, over the course of the next few, We will continue further on the path, of what to do as a newbie, and wanting to get involved in this wild wonderful world of fun..