Just to keep you informed...like you really want to know. ...We've had some serious talks on the trust and privacy issues.

Kitten is more than aware, again, of my feelings regarding honesty and trust. As much as it hurt to tell her, as well as both husbands, I did tell her that right now I don't trust her. That it'll not be given so freely the third time around. I just can't do that. It may be a sticking point with her and I. She feels she wasn't dishonest. Or at least it was warranted and she didn't do anything really wrong. She and I have some serious, and probably hard, times ahead of us. The two husbands agree but the bottom line is .... this is something between Kitten and I.

It concerns me a lot. She likes to let things go and avoid a confrontation. I can do this about some things. And I've let it slide without much confrontation in the past. Hence, the third time around for us. If we are going to be able to sustain this relationship, much less it be all that we think it can, I have to be able to trust her. I have to know that she isn't going to betray me intentionally again.

So, that leaves me with more problems relationship wise. I do not want to come between her and Gator. Nor her and Tech. But, how can I not worry about my relationship with Tech because of this? If Kitten and I can't get past this, and I trust her again, how can Tech and I continue a relationship? And, truthfully, if I don't trust her in general, how can I trust her to treat Gator well? That ultimately isn't my call. He decides if he is happy with his relationship with Kitten. I don't. Sure, there is veto power. Theoretically at least. But how could I really tell Gator to end things with Kitten because I don't think it is a good relationship? Swinging, yes, I could wield the veto comfortably. Sex is one thing. Emotions another. If it doesn't adversely affect Gator's and my relationship, how can I veto anything?

The truth is, they are struggling a bit right now and I try to make sure it isn't due to my feelings. Even though I know Gator values honesty as well, I don't want to be what they struggle over. She and I need to handle this. I just have trouble getting her to talk with me about it at all. She truly wants to act as if things didn't happen. That leaves me at a lose to know what to do and how to proceed. With her. And to an extent with Tech.