Getting Started Pt 4 - The Pursuit of Happiness

I am calling pt four the pursuit of happiness for one basic reason.. If you are thinking of this lifestyle, and Are looking for friends to fool around with, then on some level, you are really HOPING to find some form of HAPPINESS, right?

How we find people to play with, and how we ATTRACT them, is often as easy or as difficult as you wish to make it.

Let me gear this directly to the ladies, who are just getting started.. In whatever capacity, single or as one half of a couple.

Some folks out there are waiting until they find “just the right couple/person” to dip their toes into this lifestyle.

Nothing wrong with that thought, HOWEVER, remember its easy to disqualify someone when they don’t match your perfection expectations. Remember the FUN everyone had when they were DATING.. Looking for that one person to spend the rest of their lives with?

The lifestyle, isn’t like that, while yes, there are people that DO that, they are often disappointed. The reason is simple, instead of trying to match one to one, you are trying to now match 4 people.. Perfection is a bitch to find with the number of personal preferences involved in that dynamic.

Or, if you care to think in these terms, When you were dating, the women were all looking for MR RIGHT, right? Well in this lifestyle its often a case of settling for MR RIGHT NOW..

Does that mean you have to lower your standards?

Nope..

Does that mean you have to “take what you get”

Nope..

What it means is, when you are looking for a reason to say no, you will probably find one..

So, what does this mean.. It means that looking for the identical twin to Antonio, or George, or Brad MIGHT happen, but in the mean time, Like the guy at the deli or the butcher shop…

What else would ya like lady?

Let me let you in on a unspoken truth.. When a couple gets involved in this lifestyle, it’s the women that hold ALL the POWER.. If they veto a person, or a couple, then no matter how much HE may beg, its still NO

And while we are on this subject, echoing back to the idea put forth in the first blog.. Never do ANYTHING with anyone you do not wish to.. Or as we have discussed on a number of threads on these boards.. Never take one for the team.. If getting with a couple that HE wants to get with, means you have to take one for the team with Her Creature.. Say no and Instead take him home and TALK IT THRU.. Explain that, if the shoe was on the other foot, he would have a better understanding.

Now then, part of finding people to play with means being appealing yourselves.. That can and usually does take a few different meanings..

Nothing is more of a buzz kill than communicating with a person, a NEWBIE to the lifestyle, and having that person not know what exactly they are seeking.. Take a look at any of the larger internet sites, and you come across dozens of profiles that are nearly completely BLANK..

Fill in details, about yourselves, talk about what turns you on, or what you think will.. Be honest about your experience and be honest about what EXACTLY you look like..

Go one step better, Its 2008, and nearly everyone has a digital camera, why? Because, we all saw that little bit of technology and said WOOO HOO, no more worries about dropping the film at the drug store.. All those kinky little pictures we always WANTED to take, we could.. Its never been easier than RIGHT NOW to snap a sexy picture of your significant other, wearing little more than a SMILE..

But more importantly, its even easier to snap a simple g rated pic or two.. Nothing says you HAVE to post racy or provocative pictures, but, you certainly can..

Which leads us to another topic.. Your preferences versus someone else’s .. Now, again I am talking directly to the ladies out there..

Part of the reason I can speak to you today is, because I MADE half the mistakes that I am trying to warn you about..

You really need to have a talk about what you want before you post your first profile.. And continue to do so..

Every guy, for the most part thinks, one way.. Bigger is always better.. Ladies, if this isn’t the case or if you aren’t sure either way.. BE MORE INVOLVED.. Or else you might find yourself in a position where, you spend the evening, with a guy with a ONE EYED MONSTER.. Literally a cock that is way too big.. LENGTH or WIDTH.. Browse any of the sites, and you run across plenty of guy pictures, some that compare them selves.. With a dollar bill.. A soda can, or one guy had his wearing his wrist watch..

In our case, I learned rather quickly that, while the FANTASY may be, and the PORN MOVIES DO, show women cumming like mad with a cock of 8 inches or more, the reality is.. In my wife’s case.. Anything over 7 inches hurts like hell..

As with any other part of society we follow trends, some are more prevalent than others..

Want a great example? Way back in the late 70’s and early 80’s, it was a kinky thing to find a woman that shaved down below.. Most women went NATURAL.. Now it’s a common occurrence. In fact, we have encountered folks that WON'T play with a woman ( Or at least they say they won’t) If she isn’t closely trimmed or shaved down there..

It all boils down to personal preferences. Just like searching for the people to fulfill your dreams and desires.. Finding the body parts that appeal matter too.

There are so many schools of thought out there, and no one choice is wrong..

CONTINUZE IN PT 5