Where were we...

Ah yes, discussing how people go about the PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS with in the lifestyle..

Lets suppose you have crafted a profile, get a few letters and during this WHOLE process, you have never said, nor have they asked what your experience level is.. This is a disaster in the making..

WHY?

Some people, decide from the very beginning, as in before they leave the HOUSE, that they are out for a night of pleasure, and still others take a few “dates” before they are comfortable getting intimate..

Some people, can head out to a club, get a locker and spend the evening, fulfilling their desires without a clue of the other persons name.. first or last!

Still others are out there, who are looking for something close to that, and get highly upset if they aren’t naked the first date..

Then there are those involved in this lifestyle who are looking for people, that connect on more than one level..

Or want to be sure that the people they have choosen, are the right ones, and are willing to take thier time, and allow you to take yours..

Any one with ANY experience within this lifestyle knows where you are, and if you tell them you are just getting started, SHOULD allow you the time to be comfortable and ready for your first experience.

How fast or slow we proceed, This is a choice we all make. Sometimes we start with things one way and as you get more comfortable in the lifestyle , or you get more brave, or relaxed. You change up.. There is nothing wrong with this so long as those you make that choice, and those you CHOOSE to play with agree.

Now, the last topic, we need to discuss, is, the last part of your personal preferences..

A question that gets asked at the speed of light when starting initial communications.. Some ask it in the first letter they write, other in the reply..

What are you into?

Simple question right? Not really.. Everyone, regardless of experience, has something they DON'T like, and something they LOVE..

How about we cover a few simple termz…

French.. Simple right? Oral copulation.. Your mouth or theirs.. Here or there, or everywhere.. Nothing wrong with finding a lovely tongue wandering thru the naughty bits..

But where do you draw the line? Suppose you are ok with giving a man oral sex.. BE CLEAR, where you STOP, and WHERE he can cum..

And by the same token, if you expect like the old song goes..

You gotta lick it before you stick it… be clear..

How about some stereotypical Chinese..

No LICKEE, No FUCKEE

Greek.. Again simple right? Either you are ready for the question of the ole dirt road or you aren’t

If you arent, state it simply and put it right out front.. Put it right on your profile when you post it..

How about a few harder ones..

Bi - simple right, bisexual..

Bi Curious - again not all that hard to figure out right? But, it might be an idea to find out exactly they are curious about, and if they have done it before.. We know a woman, who, loves to get between a womans legs and go to town.. But hasn’t changed her preference because, while she has enjoyed what she has done thus far, hasn’t made up her mind..

Bi Comfortable - again, not all that hard to figure out.. But to what degree are they comfortable.. Are they ok with say getting a bit of hot tongue but wont reciprocate.. Or is it the opposite, are completely comfortable with orally pleasing but not with allowing it to be done to them..

And, ready for the real head turner.. Its not just women that are out there, that fall within these categories. There are plenty of men out there that are the same, curious about it, and unsure where they stand on it, because of what the CULTURE tells them to think..

Another stigma, another head trip, whatever you wanna call it.

To some it matters, to others.. It doesn’t... Often what forms of play, people are looking for, can be just as much of an issue as any other thing.. Since the 80’s Male Bi Sexuality has been taboo. Fear of the Horror of the late 20th century propagated it.

Its completely normal to fear what you don’t understand, or know about. And moreover its completely acceptable to make that personal choice in one direction or another..

Bisexuality in general is a hot and cold issue. Men involved in this lifestyle, almost expect the female half of any couple to be just as at home between a woman’s legs as a mans.. This isn’t always the case. If you browse the board, there are all sorts of questions regarding it.

B&D .. No not our names.. Bondage and Domination.. Some folks, like to be tied up and tickles to tears, or the opposite, smacked, spanked, whatever you wanna call it.. To get their jollies..

S&M .. Sadism and Masochism - Old Joke.. A slave is tied up, and begging.. “Would You hurt me?”

The master is standing over that person, and says.. “NO” A simple case where a word hurts more..

But seriously, if this isn’t your cup o tea, MAKE IT CLEAR..

Plenty of more termz are out there, and I will cover most of them, in another chapter.. coming up

So lets bring this rant to a close by simply saying..

The fantasies you have had, are a great starting point for figuring out what you might start searching for. From that point, it because a matter of finding those you find appealing.

Then you go from finding them appealing to finding out about them, and then making the next decision where this all might be headed..

And finally, the ultimate personal preference.. Do you or don’t you.. Will you or Won’t you..