Pt 6 - Ready? Set? .. HOLD ON THERE

 

 

Ok, You have discussed your fantasies, you have figured out what you wanna try..

 

Now What..

 

Here is a personal suggestion, start by picking a screen name, something you can remember easily. Then pick a site, like Yahoo, AOL, or even HOTMAIL. And sign up for a email address using your new screen name.

 

Why?

 

Because, it makes a personal email that you don’t have to worry about your kids getting into.. Or when your relative stops over, and asks to check their email.. And then reminds you that they sent you something “cute”.. you open your email in front of them and find a letter from CHAD4URPLEZRE.. With a subject like.. WoW, Would love to …

 

So, go anonymous.. And while we are at it, one more point to make.. NEVER read those emails on anyone else’s computer. There are horror stories that occurred, when they read their email on a friend's computer and FORGOT to make sure they were logged ALL THE WAY OFF.

 

Or worse, suppose they capture your login with a cookie..

 

Now that you know, you are ready to figure out where you wanna go..

 

On the Internet, there are literally dozens of commercial websites that cater to swinging and the lifestyle.

 

From the BIG, and WORLD WIDE, like www.adultfriendfinder.com , and its step children, like https://www.passion.com/, and the specific tastes, like the fetish site, alt.com, or the bisexual site like www.outpersonals.com

 

Other large ones, that cover the whole United States, like www.swingersdateclub.com .

 

Another National website, that covers everywhere, and has an excellent listing of local clubs is www.swinglifestyle.com .

 

And dozens more. Most offer a free membership, but to do everything you want, require you to pay..

 

Is one better than the other, that’s a personal question you need to answer for yourself.

 

I can offer a few keys to you, to give you a idea of if you want to pay or not..

 

When a new site comes online, they offer specials, sometimes it’s a great deal,  we joined up when they started, got a free lifetime membership, and now 5 years later, we are still “platinum” members.

 

AFF, started a long time ago, and where some sites treat members like family, others treat them like dollar signs, If you don’t pay, they cut you back to a free membership.

 

Years ago, free membership to many of the sites allowed you to read new mail and reply.. Most now charge you in some fashion to reply, again unless you pay up..

 

Another feature that some give you as a “taste” of before cutting you back is browsing profiles.. The first few hours , most will allow you to open a set number, then the next time you log on, its like one or two, IF THAT.. Again, what site you ultimately call your favorite is completely up to you.

 

But lets go back to finding the site you think MIGHT be the one for you.. I can’t tell you how PISSED we get when we look at the profiles for our area after signing in for the first time in a week, and finding 4 or 5 new ones, only to open them up, and finding…

 

NEXT TO NOTHING..

 

We know of plenty of people that as a course of action, when encountering BLANK profiles, will simply block them.

 

Rather than just signing up and looking take the extra two minutes and fill in the profile basics.. In the long run, it might come back as a benefit in the end, for one reason.. Because these sites are linked back to your NEW email address, You could for the sake of argument sign on to a site, take the two minutes to fill in the profile and then say, “this site sucks” and never poke your head in again.. In the mean time, your happy little profile sits there, and is waiting to be opened..

 

A few days / weeks go by and you check your email to see you have mail out on this site or that one, and SURPRISE the happy little profile from the “this site sucks” site has gotten you email.. Maybe from the people you REALLY have wanted to find..

 

So, keep the lotto line in your mind … You never know..

That brings us to the next topic in this chapter..

 

Filling in the profile.. Be up front and honest, When asked to describe yourselves be honest.. If you say you are a Greek God and Goddess, and set a meeting up, they are expecting Zeus and Athena, not Fred and Ethel.. And more to the point, As we covered in the previous chapter.. This Lifestyle is composed of MORE than the “Beautiful People” but just people.. We come in all shapes and sizes..

 

Why bother to lie, if meeting in reality is what you are all about.. Trust us, there are plenty out there that fill in fake profiles, and are looking for little more than MENTAL MASTURBATION, in the forms of Erotic Email, and CYBER SEX… Which is fine so long as you don’t mind the relationship with your HAND being the closest one to REALITY.

 

Be clear, and if at all possible, Leave little wiggle room as to what you are or aren’t into.. One point that is easy to use as an example.. It comes up in most ever initial conversation with new people, the ANAL issue.. Some folks are open to it, others it’s a NO GO issue.. BUT, almost EVERYONE asks. In our case, while my wife isn’t oppose to it, She really isn’t into it.. Or as she will say herself, she needs to be really turned on, and have had quite a few BIG O’s, before considering it.

 

That doesn’t take it off the table, but makes it clear enough that, If that’s a goal, they need to put the EXTRA WORK in..

 

As I pointed out in the previous chapter, In this great age, of Computers, Digital Cameras, and the Internet.. The final thing to consider including in your profile is a simple picture or two.. Maybe exposing some flesh.. MAYBE NOT.. Every site, to do with this lifestyle, ends up having another of the internet vermin showing up.. The picture COLLECTOR.. Consider distorting the faces , blurring them out.. And include a line or two IN THE PROFILE that un-blurred pics are available, when offered in kind..

 

WHATS THAT MEAN?

 

It’s a simple way of saying, if you ask, be prepared to offer theirs as well..

 

How much traffic your profile draws, depends on the site itself, posting a profile to one of the larger sites, DOES NOT promise that you will get hits..

 

At the end of the day, when you have posted your profile, included a simple picture, maybe put the un blurred in a private album that you can share with “friends” on that site.. All you can do is hope that the people you want to find you will….

 

WAIT A MINUTE!!! SAYS WHO!

 

Being a free member does restrict you, yes, BUT, as was written above, TAKE ADVANTAGE of your free membership.

 

Sure it will restrict you.. A great example of this is AFF. On AFF, as a free member, you can’t open profiles.. BUT even free members can HOTLIST people, or better yet.. Send a “wink”..

 

Suppose a couple is 20 miles away, they are paying members, and its past the first 12 hours, so you can’t open their profile.. Hotlist them, or send a wink.. Either way, they can see WHO you are, by looking at one of the basic features, on the home page..

 

AND because you FOLLOWED the ideas on this BLOG, your profile is COMPLETE.. SUDDENLY, They have found the match THEY were looking for TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

WoW a internet WONDER story..

 

Not really, just a everyday thing, if you take this advice.. Complete Profiles offer the exact information PEOPLE really want..

 

And just like there are things to PUT on a profile, there are things to LEAVE OFF..

 

Suppose the BEST picture of you and your SO, is one that include your KIDS.. BAD IDEA

 

One thing we personally have a problem with is, on a profile that, more than ONCE has to quote cock size, Breast Size.. Why, is that the SELLING point you really want? Wouldn’t a better idea be to tell it once, and then, be clearer about what TURNS you ON?

 

So to sum up..

 

A Basic EMAIL account for your swinging pursuits is one of the BEST ideas possible.. Looking at the various sites and USING the free period, to decide if its worth your hard earned CASH is the best way to go, and finally, the profiles you post, are your PERSONAL BILLBOARD.. They let people know about you, when you aren’t there to tell them about you.. So Be clear..