haha, ok kidding. i'm not quite that impatient...but I would like for my last sexual encounter to no longer be the one that happened last sunday.

it was bad. i mean....he was bad. *sigh* and to make it worse, he kept saying my name over and over and over (about 100 times...it's the only thing he said) in a weird creepy raspy whisper straight out of a horror movie. it made me afraid of myself. anyway....

lets just say I was less than satisfied a week ago. and 4 days ago, i decided to jump on board here. and by "here" i mean the lifestyle. you know, just spontaneously decided to join...as if i'd spontaneously decided to buy some lipstick. i have no idea why, but it feels like one of the most natural, normal decisons i've ever made (of course, we'll see how i feel after a few months).

the problem is....i've been reading profiles, seeing photos, talking dirty, making connections...and now i'm thinking about sex 24/7 with no relief! i wake up wet! it's crazy. but i realize that since i want to make sure i enter this world in a really positive way, i can't just jump in without a bit of conversation and a first date.

and trust me. i've got a first date lined up. i'm excited! whether it will lead to a second date (with fun times!) is unknown...we'll see. (i've got several others in the wings...who i'll meet with regardless of how the first one goes, haha) i just can't wait to get through this brief but important courtship ....and get on to the raw uninhibited carnal relations that await!

all my love,

aster