I've been reading and lurking at this site for such a long time now..about a year. Between that and a lot of the couples and men we've spoken to over the months, I've made some observations. Now I could be wrong, and maybe I'm seeing what I want to see...but here goes anyway.

*The majority of men who enjoy going down on a women also enjoy seeing her orgasm. These guys seem to be totally ok with a girl being pleased. That's not always the case..there are some who don't even know what a clitoris is, let alone where it is or what it does! It's these ones that don't seem to be interested at all in females having any pleasure of their own. I am lucky enough to have one of the first kind Mr K&T likes to ensure I have my fun before him..several times if I would like

*There are a LOT of pretenders. And they are stupid! If my little alarm will goes off in about 5 mins of chatting to someone....then chances are it's right. I've been proven wrong just once (out of about 50). A girl I thought was only interested in chatting to MR K&T is in fact more interested in me. I was right however in that she is merely looking for friends and the chances of something sexual ever happening are very slim. People can't keep up the pretense for long. Eventually they slip up in one way or another. For every genuine couple or single, there are probably 5 fakes.

*"Swinging" can't really be defined. Nothing about this whole lifestyle is set in concrete. My idea of soft swap is different to others. Some would say that because at this stage we've only engaged in soft swap, we aren't in fact swingers. There are others who think that we can't be friends with those we play with, which is something we are actively seeking AND achieving by the way! I don't understand the need for people to label themselves or what they do either! I call myself bi-curious but only because thats what society can relate to. I have never in the past, nor will I, go looking for girl/girl play outside of my relationship. Part of the appeal for me is how Mr K&T reacts and enjoys watching it. Seeing him turned on turns me on.

*I don't really know myself that well. My reactions have surprised me like nothing else I have ever experienced. Things I thought would be an issue just aren't, but others I thought I'd be fine with I've struggled a little on! And this whole lifestyle seems to have that affect on others as well. It helps us to learn about ourselves, we surprise ourselves and evolve as sexual beings as well as human beings. Experimentation into something that society frowns upon seems to say to the world "I won't let you define me!" and that is liberating for most.

There were some others, but I can't think of them right now...guess I'll come back and do a part 2 post if I think of them!

Cheers, Mrs K&T