In the past, I've always been a planner. Couldn't be without my watch and my day planner (later my PDA).

Then both my boys, a nephew and one of their friends were in a serious wreck. One that we've been told it was a miracle they survived. I saw the accident scene...it's true. Three of them eventually walked out of both hospitals that night with basically minor injuries. One did not. He very nearly died. He's had two back surgeries by a fabulous doctor and now walks around and lives a normal life.

All of this is what mostly can be attributed to the change in my behavior. A change that basically affected all aspects of my life. From how I plan to our decision to try swinging for the first time. I stopped planning and decided to live a little more. I drastically cut out the planning and organizing.

Now, I've come to realize that was too much. I should have just reduced it. I don't like feeling out of control in most situations. I've felt my life in general has been that way to a certain extent since the accident. I've shared with the rest of the quad that I need to plan and schedule some. It will help me be a happier person and, therefore, better to live with. I have no desire to be as structured as I once was. I need somewhere in between. It would help me tremendously to know that I'll see Tech on a pre-planned day, that Gator and Kitten make sure they plan the same and that all four of us will be together at another set time. I'm not ruling out spontaneity at all. But knowing that we'll be spending time together on such and such day, instead of a vague plan of something in the future, will make the time apart easier. I can tell myself I only have to wait 3 days, for example, instead of just knowing it will happen one day.

I have to thank rpu3 for reminding me of this in one of her posts. How the other 3 react to all this is still up in the air. I'm getting to try. Gator may balk most of all. Just because he's seen the other extreme and knows neither he or I want that for us again. It will take me a while to figure it all out. Its been so long since I lived a structured life that I may have difficulty getting back into it.