Do: Buy a subscription at the Web site where you have your on-line profile. Swinging is not a poor-man’s sport. When people see “Free Member”, they wonder who is going to be left to pick up the tab at the restaurant or pay for the hotel room.

Do: Include at least one picture. The only people who lack the knowledge for uploading a digital picture or the funds to buying a digital camera live on a small island in Patagonia where there are no swingers.

Do: Show yourselves together in at lease one picture. This makes a firm statement, “We are both available and are both engaged in the lifestyle.” Privacy is an understandable concern. If you do not want the public to be able to view your picture, put it into a category where subscribers can see it only when you give permission.

Do: Tell people your marital status. Most married couples accept two people who live in a committed relationship but many will be unhappy if you surprising them with the fact after you have taken them down the road a bit.

Don’t say you’re a “committed couple” That sounds like you live in an insane asylum and the orderlies let you out on Friday nights to go swinging. You are a couple who are in a committed relationship, not a committed coupe.

Do: Let people know whether you are experienced in The Lifestyle or just beginning. None of us are so far from our beginnings that we do not recall what it was like at the start. You can expect a helping hand.

Do: Let people know your sexual orientation.

Do: Be specific about your desires. If you want partner exchange, say so. If you want soft swing, say so. If size really does matter, say so.

Don’t use vague statements like “Looking for exciting times” or “Looking for people having similar interest” or “Seeking like minds” or “Want to spice things up.” People might be left to wonder whether you are a souse chef or a swinger.

Don’t use cliché: “We want to improve our already incredible sex lives”; “Cum on over.”

Don’t be so explicit that your profile sounds like an adolescent fantasy: “I want to hang you upside down on a ceiling fan, suck on your tits while your mouth is full of pop rocks, etc.”

Don’t brag, “I have a nine-inch wang that stays stiff for hours until I cum in quarts.”

Don’t display religion or politics.

Do: Keep the number or negatives and “we wont’s” to a minimum. If possible display none.

Whether or not you include “No single men”, you will receive inquiries from men. My advice is, therefore, don’t clutter you profile with this admonition.

It is not necessary to tell people that children and animals are off your list of interests. My wife and I have be in the lifestyle for years and nobody has ever come even close to hinting.

If you are burdened with the belief that persons of certain ethnic background, economic status or regional mannerism are below your dignity, keep it to yourself. Should a person of lower station happen to make the blunder of expressing interest, just decline politely.

Lastly, don’t cut-and-past from other people’s profiles. Make your profile a reflection of your own personalities and your relationship with each other. People are reading and watching.