This has nothing to do with swinging, just friendship in general.

We've had some vanilla friends that we had been getting together with on a semi regular basis at our house over the last year or so. We'd alternate providing dinner and then we'd play some sort of board game. There were rarely ever more than 6 of us that showed up, 2 couples (including us) and 3 singles that alternated and in the case of 2 of them rarely showed up. So it worked out to where we typically provided the food more often than anyone else, usually picking up the slack for the singles. The other couple provided food maybe 1/3 of the time. In addition we rarely ever cracked less than 2 bottles of wine in an evening (provided by us).

I had been feeling a bit like we being used as it was. It's not like these people called us up and invited us over when they had things going at their house. Then a couple of weeks ago I had sent out an email to the other couple to see if they were up for a game night. "not this week , but next week is good" was their reply. So this week I sent it out again to be sure. They were in, so I asked if they would mind bringing food.

The next day I get an email back from the husband (up this point I had been conversing with the wife) with a 5 point list of why they felt they didn't want to do the game night anymore and all came down to that they felt they were being asked to provide more than their share, and that others weren't providing theirs.

Let's see, we have two single guys who rarely ever show up. We have one single girl who provides food about 1/3 of the time she shows up (proportionaly) and when it's "her turn" and she's not there I pick up the slack. And this couple provides about 1/3 of the time.

I wrote them back and basically said "ya know you could have just said you were too busy to bring food". I guess I felt like since we'd already planned to do it this week that would have been the "right" thing to do. I would have cooked, we could have had game night... and then we could have dropped it (due to a myriad of other reasons why they felt they needed to - including a new show on TV on Friday nights that they didn't want to miss).

If anyone should feel put out in this situatin it's me. I feel like I made an effort to try to establish these friendship and got kicked in the face. I enjoyed hosting people over and I really didn't mind cooking even 2/3 of the time as it often worked out, but I feel like they were just coming over and taking advantage of me now and when asked to put anything back into the friendship it was just too much.

This seems to happen to me a lot, I try to develop friendships but others don't return it. I'm not a huge phone person andI realize others aren't either, but I do make an effort to try to actually get together with people I want to be friends with. others don't seem to make that same effort.

I can't say it's a great loss on this couple, this is the same couple who has said some pretty disparaging things about swingers (there is a couple that our whole group knows that is VERY open about the activities - and they will regularly comment on that). really the one thing we do have in common is our complete lack of desire to have children or deal with other people's children. But, we did have fun.

I guess I'm just frustrated and I needed to vent. I couldn't do it on LS or FB because they are there.