The title may mislead you. I’m not talking about masturbation. I am talking about my DIY (Do-It-Yourself) projects and their direct correlation to sex.

Mrs. CXXC and I have been in our Savannah home for just under one year. In this amount of time, we have furnished our home for comfort. Mrs. CXXC is one of those ladies who enjoys being comfortable at all times and will do whatever she can to be so. I, being her enabler, will happily assist in this whenever possible.

As I was running down the list of projects, past, present and future, I was stricken with the realization that virtually every one of them hinges around sex in one way or another. Let me list them for you with the associated sexual function or connotation.

First, I should tell you that I have three levels of wood decking (A. 15 X 12, B.10 X 12 and C. 12 X 12) and one level of patio (37’ X 12’). Combined footage of the decking and patio is 37’ X 24’.

Hot Tub (Existing)

Well, that one is easy. Yes, we have had a few vanilla friends in our hot tub but the vast majority of individuals who have enjoyed it to date have been in the lifestyle. Short of the vanilla individuals, no one else has worn clothes in our hot tub. I like this as well as it facilitates less of a need to clear the filter from lint, strings etc… from clothing. It is a great launch pad for some great fun with our lifestyle friends. We are considering adding a TV/DVD player for viewing movies and watching sports while sitting int he "Soak-n-Poke".

Hot Tub Deck (Existing Deck A)

The deck is virtually enclosed on all sides saving one. Nudity is encouraged as there are no prying eyes to observe. The tub itself is raised but the decking dimensions around the lip of the tub are 2 feet wide on two sides and 4 feet wide on two sides. The one open side is attached to another raised platform/deck. People may sit on the cushions with their feet in the tub or turn around and face an individual standing on the lower deck. I should also mention the fact that the lower deck is exactly 32 inches lower. A woman could lay back upon the hot tub deck while being entered by her partner who is standing on the lower deck. The 32 inch height difference was a subconscious decision. It was only after Mrs. CXXC sat on the hot tub deck, facing me as I stood on the lower deck, that I realized this fact.

Beach Bed (Existing on Deck B)

The lower deck attached to the hot tub decking has a new two person, 7’ X 6’ beach bed upon it. The beach bed is of wooden construction with enforced legs to prevent movement of the bed itself. Both back rests adjust individually to accommodate the comfort level of either of the two users. The mattress (in production) is 6 inches thick and one solid unit. The only split in the mattress is where the two back rests are. The beach bed and mattress height combine to 18 inches. Again, this was an unconscious (Really! I’m not kidding here!) decision. However, if one were to kneel upon the decking, with a female in front of them on the beach bed, well, you get the idea. Never mind the fact that two people can lay upon it comfortable without touching each other. 4 people could easily share the bed for various activities and up to 8 people (Providing the men knelt) could enjoy a lovely group romp.

Fire Pit (Existing) with Chase Lounges (Future)

The fire pit has become a focal point in the evenings when we entertain. Music, drinks, laughter and frivolity all begin around the fire. Having the chase lounges will facilitate the “Advanced” activities of the evening without having to move elsewhere. At present, there are standard out door chairs present about the pit.

Deck C (Existing)

This is where most people gather during the day and a good many evenings. Here we have outdoor furniture that is very thick, plush and comfy. The Ottoman doubles as a 3’ X 3’ coffee table. A standing lamp beside the love seat works to brighten the evenings when necessary or when the candles do not do the trick. If more light is needed, the ceiling fan, which is attached to the roofing of this section of deck offers more than enough as well as a nice breeze in those HOT Savannah evenings. Again, the height of all the furnishings is 17 inches tall including the ottoman. This was not my idea but the manufacturers.

Hammock (Future)

Attached to one of the privacy screen (Double walled lattice work) pillars will be a hammock. Well, yes, there will be a corresponding pillar 10 feet away to which the hammock will also be attached. The hammock is 5 feet wide and 7 feet long. It too will be raised at 32 inches from the ground. This is a CONSIOUS decision as I want to keep in line with the height of the hot tub decking. It occures to me that a woman could lay sideways in the hammock while her partner stood before her and enter her easily. The swinging motion would do most of the work for them both! Another coup!!!!

Gazebo Bed (Future)

Like every other gazebo in the world, this one will have a roof. It will also be equipped with a bed covering the entire floor. The size should be 8’ in diameter. This is a future project that may see a start date in early summer.

Why all the beds? Like I said, Mrs. CXXC loves her comfort. She prefers to spend the daylight hours in the sun working on her tan. What better way to do so than on clean crisp linen on a mattress. Your standard beach chairs would work perfectly well. They are functional. They can be packed and stored. One thing they cannot take is any extra activity. As we entertain, the furnishings require strength, durability and comfort. Mrs. CXXC likes them all, so, I am doing the right things. I still have better than 2/3 my back yard to fill. I am thinking of hanging a love swing (I’ll take it down when not in use) from the live oak in our back yard as well.

OH! I should mention that our privacy fence is a standard 6’ tall stockade wooden style. The homes beside and behind us are blocked from view by both the fence and the trees between us. Sound is all that can travel from house to house.

I wonder if there are any other ideas or items that could be added to the back yard for MRs. CXXC's comfort. Your suggestions would be appreciated.

I guess this DIY’er had one thing in mind each time I built something. SEX!