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I shaved my legs for THIS?

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JustAskJulie

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So for the second time we went to a social and didn't actually go in.

 

Some background: The local socials have been hit or miss at best.... and by "local" - I mean this place is close enough we typically drive home at the end of the night (or whenever we leave) but it's still about 45 minutes to an hour drive. We had gone to several at this location over the last year and really I can't say that any of them were a success for us. The turnout is usually low, and of what is there most aren't really folks we are attracted to (sorry, we aren't into people who think dressing up is finding a tshirt without a stain on it).

 

The first social of this year was announced heavily and when we saw that there were actually a large number of couples signed up to attend (I think the number was at over 70 on SLS - which is more than twice what you usually see for this social), so we decided we'd give it one more try. We went and we had a great time. From what we've heard there was one more social since then that also had a decent turnout, but we were out of town that weekend.

 

Then 2 weeks ago, a new social started in the same location. The new social was also pushed heavily and had lots of buzz (which I hope they continue to do) and had a good turnout. Not as large as the other one, but good and a different group. The people seemed more apt to try to "dress to impress". Granted the theme was "Puttin on the Ritz", but we were very surprised at the number of people who took it seriously and dressed UP.

 

So after two really positive experiences at this local venue, we were ready to go for tonight. Tonight was back to the original group hosting. And the number on SLS was dwindling... from just over 30 at the high point to around 27 when we last checked it today. We were still staying positive.

 

We invested a good bit of time trying to figure out what I was going to wear. Discovered that one of my favorite dresses (and one of my top two choices for tonight) had been ruined by the dry cleaners. The other top choice is now too big (we discovered when i tried it on). So that was causing a bit of a damper. I finally settled on a dress that Pet REALLY likes and that was appropriate for the theme (Biker night).

 

After the last two experiences being good, we even packed a bag "just in case" we needed to get a room rather than try to drive all the way home. The bag turned out to be the smartest thing we did.

 

About halfway there I realized... 27 are signed up... chances are 2/3 MIGHT show up. We got to the hotel and we were greeted by the truth. In the area near the banquet hall.... 2 cars. Drove around the hotel, and it was almost completely dead as well. So we waited. It was just at 7pm (but the last two parties we'd been to, we'd gotten there right at door opening and it was already busy), so we waited and watched 8 couples go in over the course of the next 30 minutes. 1 of those couples was a couple we'd met at the last party and would have loved to have just grabbed them and dragged them back to their room (but didn't really think that would be the right thing to do). We just kept looking at the $40 price tag and thinking... is it really worth it to see this one couple and meet MAYBE one other that we saw going in that we MIGHT be interested in? We decided no. Of course, during the time we were waiting I had also texted one other couple who was signed up to see if they were still coming. When do they reply back? WHen we are halfway back "home" again. We left about 7:45 and headed back... luckily we had that change of clothes, so I changed in the car and we tried to salvage the night by grabbing some food.

 

Just as we are heading in to get food, I see I have voicemail. It's the couple I'd texted earlier. They'd called right about the time we'd gotten back to "our" town and asked if we were at the social. They'd just shown up and the same 2 cars were still all that was parked out front. We told them our story.... and they said they'd probably go on in. Evidently, while we'd stopped and ran in a store in between that call and stopping for food they'd called again to see if we wanted to just get together. A HELL YA!

 

Unfortunately, it was not to be. We spent the next hour playing phone/text tag. Evidently somewhere in there her phone died, so we never did meet up. Somehow we did still manage to have a good time tonight. But, we are re-evaluating how we evaluate whether or not a social is worth going to. For this venue, we've pretty much decided they must have at least 45 couples signed up on SLS the day of the party.

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Swing Lifestyle sign-up have become a remarkably poor indicator of who will actually show at an event. The owners of our favorite Mogantown swinger's club post events that are linked from the Swing Lifestyle home page. Apparently, having a sign-up list is optional. People were complaining to them about the very thing you describe -- a hundred people signed up on SLS and only ten shows. Perceiving a problem, they deselected the sign-up link. Then people moaned that, "we can't sign up any more." Looks like a Catch 22.

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I should add to the above comment, just to be accurate, that ten out of the one-hundred signed up showed. The actual crowd at the club is typically much larger than ten. For this club, signing up ahead of time is not obligatory.

 

So there is a question. Is signing up a necessary for attending the events local to you? Or can people simply show up?

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With that few people, it's just not a party. We would probably head home as well.

 

We are fortunate that one of our local M&Gs has 200+ members. We've been to 3 over the past several months and it is always crowded and hopping :)

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I believe it's required that you RSVP for the event (however you can do it on SLS or on their Yahoo Group - this applies to most of the area socials).

 

I find that for most any event 2/3 of those that sign up is what you should expect to show up. Sometimes it is less than that. Part of the problem in this area lately has been so many clubs having events on the same night... and people sign up for multiple events in the same night, then go to the one that looks like it will have the best turnout.

 

Even as I was looking at the signups for the social we tried to go to, I went over to the B'ham social that had over 100 signups and there were still quite a few people signed up for the local one that were also signed for that one. That one a few months ago had said that if you were signed up for multiple events that you would be the last ones to get a confirmation letter. I don't know if they are just saying that about socials in their city or socials in both areas (because at that time all 3 socials in that city were holding court the same night).

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Sounds like a pain in the ass when you have more than one active club and they are trying to drive each other out of business. But I guess that's what they feel they should do in order to succeed. Could they not both make a good profit if they scheduled things on different nights? But even if they could, they might not be satisfied with that.

 

If we sat outside and watched couples go into a club, we might never go in. First of all, we can't do that because the two within reach have hotel parties where people get rooms, so they've already been there a while and aren't walking in. But more to the point, at any large social there might be two or three guys I'm interested in if I only saw them walk between their cars and the front door.

 

We went to a party Saturday night, and it was a first: No men who excited me. There were a few I liked, but none I wanted to have sex with, which was a shame. Usually we don't end up playing at these things anyway, but it's nice if we at least find one four-way match, new or existing, so the possibility exists. When we were driving home I wondered whether the money had been worth it. We did have a nice time, and met some people I'd like to see again (including one member of this Board :) ), but I'd have to say it was borderline. We didn't do anything else all weekend, so I guess it was worth it to get out and kick up our heels a little.

 

I think there were 75 SLS members on the list, and maybe 40-45 couples there. It was a bit sparse. Someone we met said Mr. Fuse was the best-looking guy there. I am biased of course... but I think she was right.

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By the way Julie... that thing with the text/phone mail tag resulting in a dead battery and no hook-up would have been the kind of thing that discourages me about the lifestyle. I would have been bummed that we couldn't have arranged beforehand with that couple, and that our night could have been a lot better.

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We have been in a similar situation. We dont ever sit int he vehicle as we make the decision to go and stick to it. However, the club we go to is 2.5 hours away. so when we RSVP, we mean it and we go.

However, we have been on occasion where things just didnt work out for play. DOnt get me wrong! We ALWAYS have a GREAT time with the group of people we have met there. In fact, there were two other couples from Savannah that went as well. We hung out with them and it was a FANTASTIC time! However, we didnt really play with anyone.

At the end of the night, we discussed that the entrance fee, gas, and time to get there may not be worth the trouble.

We will see. We still want to go to the summer pool party they have.

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We don't go with the intent to play, and at the local socials we have yet to even end up playing.

 

The two socials in question (that had their parties on the same night) are about 90 miles apart - which SHOULD be enough to allow for both to have a good turn out...except that it's still close enough that people are willing to drive for a "better" party. Many go down and come home in the same night. We won't do that.

 

The funny thing is that the one that was 90 miles away... was the same social that we drove down to last year sometime, got a room... and then did the exact same thing we did here (this was after actually getting out of the car, standing in line to get in - looking around at what was in line with us, getting a very bad vibe (I posted this in a past blog entry, I believe) and deciding to go sit in the car and watch who else went in).

 

In both cases, even tho they are hotel socials, the entrance to both is set up in a way that if you park in the right spot (the local one more than the one 90 miles away) you can see EVERY person who walks into the place.

 

We felt somewhat bad Saturday night because there was ONE couple that was at the social that we wanted to see again.... but we just really couldn't justify paying $40 just to see them (when we could make arrangements to see them in an environment that is more conducive - for free).

 

Every location is different... and how "packed" a party feels depends greatly on the size of the room. This particular room is not big, but with only 10-12 couples it will still feel pretty empty. We go to Menages and have been on a Friday night when there were only maybe 15 or 20 couples and it feels empty... but because of the environment itself it doesn't feel "dead".

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