Perception - one of my favorite topics.

Perception of anything is based on our set of experiences, not just with that person or thing but with everything around us. That's why it is so easy for two people to see the same thing completely differently.

I have seen situations exactly like what you describe. I know guys who in a situation with a woman they don't really care about would be completely aggressive and controlling, but then put them in a situation with a woman they do care about and that poor woman couldn't get her ass smacked if she asked for it (and she did)!

Aren't they strange? From my experience, I'd say they showed you two sides to themselves. I find it odd in a way that, when a man loves, he usually gets gentle. Can you imagine having to ask for something as simple as a harder hug? I may be on the smaller size but I want to feel, really feel, the physical contact. Now, how do you think it goes when you want everything harder?

Vol

i think that when your with a cpl that you truly care about .you will be real careful not to cross any lines that might hinder your friendship because there is always a concern of doing something that might make the cpl back away .saying can you believe he she did this last nite etc .so you makes sure you don't and that could make them back off because they are getting what they want . dammit man. what to do

Goodness, never thought there'd be so many who could follow my thoughts Cool!

I think each of you have added some great insight, thanks.

The two men I was referring to were/are very special to Ted and I. We're thankful that they were in our lives; we think about them and talk about them often and hope that their memories of us are as fond as ours are of them. They were a couple of Ted's Navy buddies and our relationship with them was before we were really involved with swinging.

Had the timing been right when we were close with either of them and all the stars aligned and the planets been in the right orbit and we knew then what we know now things could have gone very differently with either one and the relationship we shared.

It is strange and does make you think when years later you learn something new about someone you thought you knew very well.

I have to tell you, "Pussycat push overs" made me laugh. Your blog made me rethink how we deal with couples we truly care for versus couples we've only just met. I wonder if we sometimes do not give them our "A" game, because we fear we'll cross a line - it would seem that intimacy can be a hindrance to pleasure.