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How Much???
In today’s present economy, we tend to consider purchases and personal cash outlay quite often. As most of you know, I am a little on the frugal side. I don’t like to burn my money on anything. In fact, I will do everything I can to save a buck or two. As the consummate DIY’er, I pride myself at just how much I have saved in the past. This brings me to the reason for this blog.
Every month or so, Mrs. CXXC and I receive a catalogue from Adam and Eve. As we generally order something from them once or twice a year, we are always receiving "Special" deals and price breaks. These special offers tend to make the purchases more appealing and we have found that we are generally pleased with/by our purchases.
We have noticed that there is a BIG difference between the Adam and Eve on-line shopping and Adam and Eve In-Store purchase pricing. HOLY CRAP! The difference can be up to 300%. It is crazy. However, even with the on-line prices being so much less, the items in question are really over priced.
Glass Juicer, $198.00 (this thing better produce a glass of OJ on the spot when I wake up in the morning!)
Strapless strap-on, $139.00 (This was a MUST have for Mrs. CXXC. Unfortunately, we picked it up at a boutique for $160.00)
Double dildo, $19.95 (I was so happy to see that price. I thought I was going to get raped on this one. Pardon the pun there!)
ID Glide, $27.00 for 16 oz?? WTF????
So, I went through Mrs. CXXC’s “goodie box” and started to look up the prices for the items she has. I KNOW! Leave it alone! You will be sorry! OH MY WORD!!!! I could have purchased a 42’ LCD TV! This is NUTS! And these were the on-line shopping prices! Never mind the fact that I have actually purchased several of them at boutiques.
I remember the day I purchased a Rabbit vibe for her for Valentines Day. When the lady rang it up and I saw $105.00 as the price, I nearly passed out. Not one to skimp on a gift for Mrs. CXXC, I paid for it and the 16 oz bottle of ID glide. The price became of little concern to me as I drove home with images of Mrs. CXXC happily buzzing away to orgasmic bliss! However, the sad part of the story is that she has used this particular toy on a handful of occasions. It is not her favorite. It, like so many other toys in her arsenal, didn’t do it for her. Needless to say, I no longer purchase toys for her without her approval.
Who knew that having orgasms would be so expensive? If you think about it, you don’t ever finish paying for sex toys either. You have to buy and replace batteries. You have to purchase both water based and silicone based lubes to aid in the use of these pleasure devices. YOU ALWAYS have to clean them. Certain kinds require specific cleaning solutions. Many are rechargeable but you still have to pay the electric bill.
I have discovered two issues with purchasing toys for Mrs. CXXC:
1. Finding the perfect toy!
This is one of the most frustrating of all situations as you never know if it will work until you try it. Once you try it, if you don’t like it, It just sits in a box with the other non-pleasing toys.
2. What to do with the stock pile of sex toys you have?
Ok, so you have a pretty good assortment of dildos, vibes, bullets, rechargables, wireless, remote, rabbits, finger tip vibes, waterproof, etc… You don’t use them as they simply don’t do it for you. What the heck do you do with them? You can’t return them. You could try to sell them but ICK! You could try to alter them to work better but that rarely ever turns out well. So there you are, stuck with a box of useless sex toys. This treasure chest is also a source of great amusement for house guests. You will certainly experience a 4 year old discovering the hidden toys and running around your house shouting, “MINE! MINE!! MINE!!” As you attempt to recover the dreaded item. It is rare but will happen at a gathering you hold.
Mrs. CXXC has commissioned me to create the perfect sex toy. I have been working on this idea for quite some time. I think I have the design down but fear that after all is said and done, it too will sit in the box and become another dust collecting utensil. However, in the odd chance I create the perfect toy for her, I may market that sucker and then, who knows, You may well be holding in your slippery little hands, the hottest new sex toy from the CXXC line! HA HA HA! I could retire! What a dream.
I guess when all is said and done, the best, most cost efficient, durable, reliable and available sex toy is your own hand. All the cost and upkeep for it is ancillary to pre-existing activities. So, you have already paid for it. You might as well use it. According to Adam and Eve, May is masturbation month. So, what better time to break out the oldest sex toy in EVERYONE’S collection!
Just yesterday we were looking at a few items on-line. My worst fear hit me as that angelic voice rose to land so gently upon my ears yet struck my heart (and wallet) like a ball peen hammer,
“What’s a sybian?” she asked.
“$1750.00” I squeaked!
Fortunately, Mrs. CXXC finds the logic in NOT spending that much on something that may or may not do it for her. WHEW!
Until we discover the perfect sex toy for Mrs. CXXC, I guess I will simply have to get used to blurting out the words, HOW MUCH?????
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