So we had two very good dates on Saturday and on Monday. One has already had some fallout though... if we're being optimists we call these "growing pains" or "learning experiences".

Saturday was great... turns out it was greater for me than for Mr. Fuse. It was one of those times when there is an imbalance between how well the guy and I get on, and how well Mr. Fuse and the lady get on. We've had those imbalances in both directions, as I'm sure most couples can attest happens pretty frequently. He liked her and was attracted, but not a slam dunk, though he didn't tell me that until the next day. (I really wish he would tell me things like that while there is still a chance to do something about them.) The date went well though, and ended with a great sweaty romp at his apartment. She is extremely sexual and seemed to enjoy herself a lot. I certainly did too, as the guy and I were very compatible and had been IMing all week, so the anticipation was high. He and I really hit it off and were finishing each other's sentences. I love when I have a vibe like that with someone, though I worried a little bit that she might be jealous.

Mr. and Ms. Playmate are new to swinging as a couple, though he has experience as a single man and she had had a few threesomes in her past. They are not married and haven't known each other that long, but they are really working together as a couple/team with respect and consideration. He is sort of helping her into the lifestyle, though she is very enthusiastic. She just didn't feel comfortable venturing in as a single woman.

As it turns out, she has simply connected better with others than with my husband during their first few experiences, one of which was us. It's another one of those cases where we hear later that the woman wanted him to be more aggressive. This is a sore point with me, because I cannot count the number of times Mr. Fuse and I have had that conversation. So of course he and I had the same conversation again on Sunday night after I got the feedback. I tell him he should try and be a little more assertive...not change who he is, but just push his comfort zone a little. I told him honestly that if I'd been the other lady Saturday night, I would have thought he didn't want to be with me, by the way he was acting. Mr. Fuse gets defensive as usual and says "So you're just right and I'm just wrong". I ask, well, how many times do you need the exact same feedback from woman after woman before you concede the point? How many couples have been one-offs because you didn't show enough desire? I just think he could do a little more... squeeze her arm, play with her hair, kiss her hand... then when he gets comfortable at a new level, push it just a little more... until he is acting a little bit more like the other men, the ones who show a woman that they want her.

As an aside, I'll observe that seventeen years ago when we first got together, I couldn't have conceived of a situation where one of my biggest problems with him would be that he is not sexually aggressive enough with other women! Of all the things to happen in life... truth is stranger than fiction, indeed.

Meanwhile, Mr. Playmate and I have developed quite a rapport, which leaves us in a strange and unresolved place with each other. He also has another girlfriend he plays with, so there is at least a small chance we could still hang out. Everything is above board with the two girlfriends, or it will be soon. He seems to not want to deceive anyone. We may meet the other girlfriend at a meet & greet soon. It feels strange, like we're presenting Mr. Fuse with another candidate and saying, "How about this one? Will this work?" (Wrinkles nose) We'll see what happens.

Honestly, I would advise this guy to not see me anymore, because he seems more into me than will be good for him. I already told him he's navigating very tricky waters, swinging with multiple partners and without a real primary, which leaves the door open to soooo many problems for him and for him and his girlfriends together. He has not been plain with me about his feelings, but they are clearly there. It is hard to give up such a good connection but we probably should. It will be worse for him than for me if it progresses.

And on to Monday's date. Very different than Saturday's date and delightful in its own way. The couple we met are an adorable, classy international pair who have almost no experience with couples, and a few soft experiences with single women. They've been together since she was in high school. The woman is absolutely gorgeous, a sexy nubile blonde with a cute laugh. Her husband is more low-key and pretty good-looking, though not as beautiful as she is.

At first when we met I thought he was kind of a jerk. It was just a few things that he said, but I knew they were nervous so I resolved to give it a chance and not jump to judgment. Besides, I could see Mr. Fuse and the lady were hitting it off and I didn't want to have another situation where I nix a couple whose female half he likes, without giving it some time to develop. (This is what typically happens... like most women I'm more picky than he is.) I did warm up to the guy and started to develop a little bit of a back and forth, though it was an effort. His experience with their previous couple was not as good as hers was. He talked about it a bit and it sounded like he was just overloaded and not prepared. It gave me some insight as to how to make any play a good experience for him.

We did go back to their house, but their son came home, contrary to the plans he had made earlier. So we did some soft play while the son was in another part of the house. I felt weird about that, but I figure it is up to the parents' judgment.

Mr. Fuse has completely flipped over this woman. Seems like they are a great match. Even better, she likes his gentle, borderline passive style. (Now it will be even more difficult to get him to take action with the 90% of women who want to be pursued, including some he has really wanted to be with.) I liked playing with her husband, and think there is potential. We are planning to see them this coming weekend. We are anticipating still...