Well....we've at best been lackadasical swingers for the better part of the past year and recently have decided to take an undetermined hiatus from swing activities.

Part of it was precipitated on my part by a conversation we were having one night.

In the last few years I have made no secret of the fact that I would like to have a 3/4/more-some with J and other guys involved.

So the whole point of bringing it up was to try to see if/when we could set up at the very least a MFM at some point in the not too distant future.

And he pipes back with a response along the lines of 'I'm not sure I'll ever be comfortable with doing that.' Holy shiz, you could have knocked me over with a feather.

We've had a few FMF and he's had a couple of alone playtimes with SFs which really streched my comfort levels (and even piqued my discomfort lol) and have really been working on the process of not making him feel so restricted when we go to events (that is some of his terminology).

So when he said that, I figured that we are obviously not on the same page (I think goals isn't the right word to use) as far as trying to work together so that we are maximizing each other's experiences in the LS.

Perhaps it was my inner toddler deciding to throw a tantrum...but damn it, not fair! Add this to the fact that finding a partner that is at least on par with Jeff (as far as stamina and size...but particuarly the stamina) has been disappointing and the fact that in that same timeframe that LS activities have been more stress inducing than enjoyable.

I mean, honestly, I love the socializing and meeting new people...but my expectations as far as the sex is concerned is so low at this point as to be damn near non-existant. I know there are some decent play partners out there, I keep hearing about them...but have yet to find one.

The level of frustration had pretty much gotten to the point of 'why bother?'

So between my grad classes and all the work I'm dealing with there and Jeff having some upheaval at work and changing positions within his company...it seems that the LS is going to be on the backburner for a bit til RL settles down a bit.