I'm sure many people have been at this crossroads. If it were me I would take things as they come (so to speak) and not give up on the LS entirely, just be happy with a few encounters here and there. We've not had to face this particular choice regarding kids as our are older..though the issue still is an issue for as some of our swinger friends have kids. My motto has become, there is never a rush. If you can meet a particular couple at a particular time, then wait for a better time.

I have friends in their 30's who voice the same concerns. There have been more than one occasion where what was supposed to become a playdate turned into a night with kids movies and my friends kids using me for a pillow on the couch. I just take what fun I can. I don't mind. But I do think you have the right priorities. Best of luck, and you know what they say; the less often you enjoy something, the more you enjoy it when you do.

The only thing constant is change,,,, and how it rattles in the pocket.

We all make choices about how we'll spend our allottment of time. Some choices are easier than others, and I think it's the difficult choices that truely define us as individual characters. Play times can still be available for yall to enjoy. Perhaps this is an opportunity to employ creative problem solving techniques.

Several of the party-hosting couples we know have had adult kids move back home since the economy soured (we have a boomerang too). The party scene has changed a bit, but it still continues.

I'm confident you'll find a workable solution....

I'm with socolais; I'll bet opportunities will continue to come your way every so often, even if you are not actively looking... especially if you just leave your profile up in more or less of a "passive mode".

Other things are often just more important. I hope we'll continue to see your posts on this Board though .

I do not see swinging as an all-the-way-in or not-in-at-all thing; It's not a poker game. Anybody who is raising children in the early twenty-first century should be nominated for sainthood. I will ask again in six months.

~Michael

This is less of a time issue and more of a priority one.

Sure we could make time for swinging, the question is do we want to.

I think its just hit the threshold on our priority list where its not worth the time.

Chicup, wouldn't it shrink your world, to just close and latch the door? The sweetness can go out of something if the context doesn't change along with other views and preoccupations. It does seem as though you have some of each.

Things that we like to do, after circumstances bring an end to them, sooner or later sprout back, looking a little different, but satisfying just the same.

Strongest wishes for you two, especially with your kids just hitting their fastest growing time. We're a few years from the other end of that era of life (also, our remaining parents are near their full time on Earth) and we seem to be freshening our thinking about vitality and lusty engagement with life (Mrs.' words.) It's all seasons, those times for every purpose. They go round and round.

Where are we going to end up? Ask me in six months.

I know, it's been more than 6 months, any new outlooks ?

This is a question I'd like to hear your answer to as well. "Sure we could make time for swinging, the question is do we want to" sounds quite familiar.

Well I completely forgot about this post, a LOT happened a few months after.

Now first let me state....

To put it mildly we have several irons in the fire, and I just can't find room for swinging. If I may continue a bad analogy beating our heads against the anvil that is finding compatible couples so I may quench my red hot sword in another bucket of water

Secondly....

We had weird things happen right after this post, swinging related and life related which ended swinging with our last play partners (they went nutty), and we thought about some other issues which would drop swinging from our list of activities for what we thought was going to be at least a few years. Yes I'm being VERY vague here, and the swinger drama would be worth a good post but you can understand why I'm not sharing for privacy

But... life does change.

Work is going a touch better (less stress), we decided a few plans were were going to do we would not do (vague yes), and we actually have some reliable babysitting. Not enough we can be spontaneous but enough we can make plans.

So we signed up for a couples cruise, and we are going to start being what I would call 'casual swingers' in January. Basically we are not going to clubs, we won't be what I call 'lifestyle' but we will do our add and if a couple looks like a very good match we will try to get together.