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A little melancholy... but shouldn't be

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The Fuse

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So last night we had friends over to grill out. We sat in our screened-in porch and had good conversation over burgers, wine, salad, tater tots and fresh fruit. These are people we played with once last fall and got really excited about. Turns out it wasn't a match on a sexual level, which was a big disappointment for us. But on a much happier note, we have continued to see them as friends, probably five or six times since then. In all ways except sexually (again, a bummer), I doubt we have found a better four-way match. We are all similarly academically inclined, have similar politics, have common interests, and the conversation always flows. We have a real friendship now, and it's something we are both very very happy about.

 

As a result of something the other lady did a couple of months ago, we were given to believe we might start playing again. I would love that, but truthfully... I am scared. Because if we play again and then she feels the same way about it that she did the first time, I am afraid we would feel awkward and not be able to be friends anymore. And we really like these people. It's just kind of difficult because I want him baaaaaad. So I am always a bit tense when we see them. Mr. Fuse wants her too, although there are now one or two other ladies he is very excited about who are current playmates and have given him very positive feedback, which helps his self-image.

 

They left last night and Mr. Fuse and I immediately attacked each other. Last week I had had my period and then we had visitors over the weekend, so we hadn't had sex in a while. After kissing for a few minutes, I went to the bathroom and decided to come out without any clothes on. That's unusual for me, because I like getting undressed as part of foreplay. So I came out into the brightly-lit kitchen nude... and then that song from Pretty In Pink came on. You know the one, when Ducky does the impassioned - yet - goofy dance to Otis Redding's "Try A Little Tenderness". So Mr. Fuse and I jammed in the kitchen, me naked and him dressed, doing his best John Cryer. If the neighbors were looking in our direction, they definitely saw us.

 

Then we went and had sex in the living room. I woke up this morning wondering why my throat was sore, then remembered it was because of yelling during my earth-shattering orgasm. Quite the release. It is not easy to get me off orally, but I have enormous, time-stopping orgasms that way.

 

Anyway... by the way our friends' female half was acting last night, i.e. happy but not at all flirtatious, I've tried to reinforce in my mind that she is only interested in being friends. He wasn't flirtatious either. It is weird to feel torn about this. On the one hand, a couples friendship like this is precious and not something to screw up (pun intended). On the other hand, well, we are very attracted to them. So being around them is difficult when we can't touch them. I'll gladly put up with that tension, though I wish it would go away. If only they weren't so beautiful... her looks have been described aptly as "Garden of Eden beauty". She has this ethereal kind of quality, like she stepped out of a painting. He is the perfect masculine counterpart--tall, confident, handsome and engaging.

 

Luckily for us, we are seeing two new couples right now who both seem great. Otherwise it would be easy to get melancholy over our friends from last night. I'm doing my best to focus on having this rewarding friendship that will hopefully last a long time.

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How did she feel about it the first time? Have the 4 of you discussed it since?

 

I am just putting myself in their shoes, and wonder if they are wondering the same things that you are. Have you all discussed staying friends without play, or just get together as friends and assume everyone knows it's pure vanilla?

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Well, without going into specifics, there was clear communication after our first playdate that they wanted to be vanilla friends, and why. Three of us wanted to play again, but that's how it goes... and as they put it, they hadn't met anyone whose dinner conversation they enjoyed more than ours.

 

Pretty much the ball has been in her court ever since. Aside from one day when she seemed to be changing her mind, she hasn't seemed interested in playing. We won't push. Mr. Fuse has tried being flirtatious with her, but as I've bitched about constantly on this board, his "flirtatious" is merely "mildly friendly" to others. She wants a more overtly masculine type, someone to pursue her. I can't say I blame her.

 

The four of us have never had a pow-wow... we are just following her lead. It would be wrong to pressure her to do anything she doesn't want to do. If she wants things to change she will let us know. IMO, it has to be her idea.

 

But, like I said, I think it might be better just to remain non-playing lifestyle friends, in spite of our desires. We have such a good thing going. If we play and she rejects him again, it could cause bad feelings.

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It is the most frustrating thing trying to get 4 different individuals to click to the extent that they ALL want to play and find a mutual attraction.

 

We hope you find your desires.

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CXXC: Thank you. We are very fortunate lately in making four-way matches with great couples. With this one couple, we didn't quite get there. I'm trying to look at that as a blessing in disguise. Even now, I'm looking forward to getting together with the other lady tomorrow for a fun vanilla activity. This could be the start of an enduring friendship.

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Ms. Fuse

Friendship is often times more difficult to obtain than a 4 way connection. Well, a really good friendship that is. If you have a friendship develope from this, you are really blessed.

We hope you have a good time either way!

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I understand how you are feeling. But CXXC is correct...a lasting friendship is worth so much in this world.

 

Vol

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