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A little melancholy... but shouldn't be
So last night we had friends over to grill out. We sat in our screened-in porch and had good conversation over burgers, wine, salad, tater tots and fresh fruit. These are people we played with once last fall and got really excited about. Turns out it wasn't a match on a sexual level, which was a big disappointment for us. But on a much happier note, we have continued to see them as friends, probably five or six times since then. In all ways except sexually (again, a bummer), I doubt we have found a better four-way match. We are all similarly academically inclined, have similar politics, have common interests, and the conversation always flows. We have a real friendship now, and it's something we are both very very happy about.
As a result of something the other lady did a couple of months ago, we were given to believe we might start playing again. I would love that, but truthfully... I am scared. Because if we play again and then she feels the same way about it that she did the first time, I am afraid we would feel awkward and not be able to be friends anymore. And we really like these people. It's just kind of difficult because I want him baaaaaad. So I am always a bit tense when we see them. Mr. Fuse wants her too, although there are now one or two other ladies he is very excited about who are current playmates and have given him very positive feedback, which helps his self-image.
They left last night and Mr. Fuse and I immediately attacked each other. Last week I had had my period and then we had visitors over the weekend, so we hadn't had sex in a while. After kissing for a few minutes, I went to the bathroom and decided to come out without any clothes on. That's unusual for me, because I like getting undressed as part of foreplay. So I came out into the brightly-lit kitchen nude... and then that song from Pretty In Pink came on. You know the one, when Ducky does the impassioned - yet - goofy dance to Otis Redding's "Try A Little Tenderness". So Mr. Fuse and I jammed in the kitchen, me naked and him dressed, doing his best John Cryer. If the neighbors were looking in our direction, they definitely saw us.
Then we went and had sex in the living room. I woke up this morning wondering why my throat was sore, then remembered it was because of yelling during my earth-shattering orgasm. Quite the release. It is not easy to get me off orally, but I have enormous, time-stopping orgasms that way.
Anyway... by the way our friends' female half was acting last night, i.e. happy but not at all flirtatious, I've tried to reinforce in my mind that she is only interested in being friends. He wasn't flirtatious either. It is weird to feel torn about this. On the one hand, a couples friendship like this is precious and not something to screw up (pun intended). On the other hand, well, we are very attracted to them. So being around them is difficult when we can't touch them. I'll gladly put up with that tension, though I wish it would go away. If only they weren't so beautiful... her looks have been described aptly as "Garden of Eden beauty". She has this ethereal kind of quality, like she stepped out of a painting. He is the perfect masculine counterpart--tall, confident, handsome and engaging.
Luckily for us, we are seeing two new couples right now who both seem great. Otherwise it would be easy to get melancholy over our friends from last night. I'm doing my best to focus on having this rewarding friendship that will hopefully last a long time.
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