From the point of view of a non-swinger, I'd go with either the big "coming out" party, with any and all of your family, vanilla friends, and swinger friends as can make it, and just make the announcement. Maybe something on the invites along the lines of, "The CXXCs cordially invite you to a party, wherein the hosts will make a very special announcement, for all and sundry to hear."

Or, just say bag it, and start scheduling as you like, and if family or vanilla friends ask to come by some weekend when you've got swinging plans, tell them about the swinging, and tell them you've got "other plans" for the weekend. I'd even say, leave it to them, if they want to stop by to join the party, as vanillas, or stop by another weekend.

Although, I guess, some of it would depend on how your social schedules tend to be...

You could also always just send something from one of those "naughty" e-mail card sites. Nah, scratch that, family might get the wrong idea from the picture and just delete it...

Go with the big coming out party, it'll let the family / vanilla friends see the swingers as people, especially if it is made clear to everyone there that it'll be a non-swinging party.

Jason

Why announce it?

Just don't lie about it to cover anymore.

Limitations all gone.

Yeah, really... people in general don't go around trumpeting what they're into. Even gays and lesbians generally just let you figure it out. If we're into swinging, or BDSM, or poly, or whatever, why would we feel the need to yell it from the rooftops? It doesn't need to be hidden if you don't want it to be, but turning things around a little... would you want random people in your life making bold "announcements" about their sexual practices? That would be TMI for me in most cases.

Another thing to consider, especially for your lovely wife, is that lots of people (especially guys) will adopt nasty "she'll fuck anyone" attitudes about her. They will think she is dirty and presume they can embarrass her and perhaps think she is easy. There was a thread on here a couple of years ago by a woman whose co-worker found out, and before she knew it, her friends were following her down the street snickering and actually making her fearful. Not saying that kind of thing will definitely happen, but there are lots of people out there who think swingers are dirt and will treat a swinging woman like dirt. Just something to consider.

Oops... above, where I wrote "her friends were following her..." I meant "his (the coworker's) friends".

Can you imagine the party? After the big announcement, all the vanillas start looking around, and thinking "Oh, so that's where Mr and Mrs CXXC met those people!" Which would be fine except maybe all the other swingers there don't want to come out.

So yeah, just relax about it. No more lies. Wish we could do that, but definitely not an option.

This is not a recommendation as this question must have a different answer for nearly every couple who considers it. But just to compare notes, a few years ago, JoAnn informed her best friend of our swinging activity. This information was not accompanied by any request to "not tell". But having told one person means that many might now know. Our situation is somewhat similar to yours except we do have children.

JoAnn's revelation was impulsive -- no planning was involved. But knowing that the secret is out is liberating in more than one way.

~Michael

My wife has shared our status with a very close friend (who lives 2000 miles away) and a doctor friend at work (ob) asking about birth control. No fallout from either and we think the doctor friend had some experiences in the past. It would probably not surprise tons of people as we do tend to be on the edge sometimes, but I wonder about working relationships, especially some of the extreme right wing religious types that I work with (not related to my profession, just a diverse set of poeple).

I must admit, I would worry most about the aftermath of the "coming out" with regards to Mrs. CXXC and the way some people would treat her.

As always, I would be pretty much ignored by society for being sexually active yet married. She on the other hand.....

Letting everyone know at a MIXED Party would not be a good idea. That would out everyone that didnt want to be outed as well. Ill pass on that idea.

I guess, when the time is right, we wil simply not deny an accusation. We will have to admit to who and what we are. Until that day, however, we will keep it under wraps and go aobut our "Secret lives".