I don't have any real reason to post this, except that I was thinking about it...

Last night Mr. Fuse and I had planned to go to a house party. My main hope in going was to play with the male half of a couple we know. Mr. Fuse is not a match with his wife, so under our current "rules", the only way I could hope to play with him was at a house party where people were mixing it up. The guy and I had kind of made a date to be together at this party, and I was really looking forward to it, hoping it would happen. (I know that's a bad idea, but I did it anyway.)

Well, yesterday Mr. Fuse said he was starting to feel like he either had allergies or was coming down with a cold. By the evening, he had a headache. When he gets a headache he is pretty much "out" as far as interacting with anyone, including me. This happens every so often and spoils whatever plans we have made, whether social or not.

In this case, he said he was fine if I went by myself, for which I was grateful. So, off I went... with the understanding that I was only to play with the guy in question, unless there was someone else there we already knew and both approved of. I was really happy my husband was comfortable enough to let me go to the party by myself. First of all, it meant we are evolving further past our "everything must be fair and we must always be together" phase. Second of all, I was really horny for the guy I'd made the plans with . We had been wanting to get together for a while, and now here was our chance.

Some folks around here know that I have sometimes felt a bit held back by my sweetheart's shyness and his tendency to depend on me in social situations. Not that I ever wanted to be alone, but often I have wished he would take more responsibility for himself, not only socially, but in making opportunities for play.

Well, here I was all on my own, and suddenly it was weird. I didn't have him to go to when I wasn't engaged in a conversation with someone. I don't have any problem just talking to whomever is near me, but... it was still a bit strange. I felt a bit insecure without him there. I wondered whether people would think I was cheating on him. Our host, whom I'd just met that night, forgot I was married and started referring to me as single.

It had its upside though. While my 'date' and I were playing, I didn't have to worry about whether my husband was feeling abandoned. And my playmate and I danced a lot together in between sessions, sort of part of the sexy buildup... boy that was nice... and I didn't have to worry about my husband fending for himself socially while we were dancing. That part was a relief. But overall, I would have liked it better if he had been there.