Clubs for us has turned us into poser attractors. We can find every attractive non-swinging couple and waste an entire evening talking to them before they make that clear.

I would think it was just us but we found many of them followed the same pattern with others too.

We've done that a few times, spent too much time before finding out what the other couple is there for. The couple mentioned in my first post in this blog; when we first met them we spent a lot of time talking before we found out they were looking for female encounters only. I guess that sort of worked out a little for our recent encounter with them, but not our main interest. But we've even encountered that issue at a house party, spending time with a couple that was no interested in sex with others, just same room sort of thing.

Whether at a house party, club, online or meet and greet, if we are interested in a couple, I always ask what they are looking for, and before spending a large chunk of time talking to them. If we're not looking for the same things, then we can either still hang out with them or, if we are feeling more "goal oriented", we can move on. But at least we know what's possible, and what's not. As earlier commenters have noted, it's especially important in a club. You meet someone, you like them... but people are looking for a myriad of things. Best to tell them you think they're hot... and ask them "what are you into"?

Even when meeting from an online profile, where people have described in writing what they are looking for, it is important since people often either hold back or simply don't update.