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The Search for Truly Compatible Couples Continues

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The Fuse

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We've been going out a lot lately. And truly, we've been having a very good time. But we still haven't hit that jackpot -- the couple that is really compatible. The ones where attraction is there in all the right combinations, where they live reasonably close (like within an hour), where schedules are manageable, where we enjoy socializing together... and the most important thing: all four people involved want to see each other on a continuing basis.

 

Now that I wrote that all down, it seems like too much to ask for. The only reason I know it's possible is because it has happened in the past. It has been a really long time since we had that with anyone.

 

After "My Maiden Solo Voyage", my better half and I had a string of fun times together on outings with lifestyle friends, but none of them resulted in a four-way connection and a playtime, much less a repeat. We went out five times in a row without it happening. At least two of those times we knew in advance that there was little to no chance, but still...

 

Then last Saturday (9/5) the planets finally converged. But first, the rundown on the five "misses".

 

Friday (8/28), we went out with a couple we've met several times but never got a date with. Unfortunately, the lady just didn't connect with Mr. Fuse.

 

Saturday (8/29), we went to a party out of town where Mr. Fuse had a prearranged "date" with the female half of a great couple we'd met earlier this year. He was happy; I was happy that he was happy. I'm sure I could have stirred up some action for myself but just didn't. After he was done playing I really just wanted to reconnect with him. We did, however, meet a couple we were interested in seeing again, and also met the "hot young crowd" from the area of the party. We plan to attend one of their parties not this weekend, but next weekend.

 

Sunday (8/30), we went to lunch with a couple we really like, but who are currently soft swap. They are exploring the possibility of going further. Just not that day, because of family obligations which were understood in advance. It was a good time and we'll see what happens there. We should see them again this coming Saturday night.

 

Tuesday (9/1), we were at a vanilla bar at our weekly M&G with the couple we'd met on the 29th. Things were really heating up. We were deciding whose place to go to, when suddenly it was off. Someone from the other lady's vanilla life saw her boyfriend making out with me, and thought she was being made a fool. She did not react well. I felt badly, even though no one told me they were trying to be discreet. The boyfriend apparently forgot he was supposed to be discreet. It doesn't seem like they'd thought things through very well, since the lady knew her non-lifestyle friends would be at the bar, and we were among a group of swingers who are there every week... go figure.

 

They deactivated their AFF profile a few days later. I wrote to them on their Swing Lifestyle profile saying I was sorry and hoped it worked out all right, and that we hope to see them again. No reply. THAT was a bummer because the guy is an amazing kisser and has such a nice touch... I know we would have had a good time. I know I didn't do anything wrong, but still, it was unfortunate.

 

Friday (9/4), we went out with Ken and Barbie-- or at least their life-sized cousins. I don't know why this couple contacted us -- they are soft swap per their profile and our profile makes it perfectly clear that we are full swap. I don't know why these soft-swap couples keep expressing interest. But I am always friendly, so I wrote back and asked them what they are looking for, because sometimes profiles lie. I also opened our face pictures. Lo and behold, they were friends of friends -- vanilla friends. They didn't know it was us when they wrote, and they said they were shocked and couldn't stop laughing for 30 minutes when they discovered it. It was great on our end too, since they are one of those "wouldn't it be great if they were swingers" couples.

 

They still wanted to go out, since we all felt comfortable we wouldn't mess anything up with our mutual friends. Since we already knew them we agreed, even though it didn't seem likely that we were looking for the same things. We all chuckled about it over dinner and generally had a fun time chatting and then shopping in the adult store. But it was very clear that our idea of a good date and theirs are not the same. So as we expected, the night ended without much happening -- not even a real kiss, which I wish we'd had.

 

Whew... fast forward to last Saturday night (9/5). This couple had contacted us on AFF a few days before, and lickety-split we had a date. They are not Ken and Barbie, but they are attractive to us. Things went soooo great. We ate dinner and got acquainted, and all hit it off on several levels. We have enough in common that conversation is easy. They are lively and positive and in love with each other. After dinner we went to a hookah bar, something Mr. Fuse and I had only done once before, overseas. It was hilarious. We were among all these college kids who are too young to go to bars. We were invisible to them. The girl who served us said she thought it was great that some "older" people had come in. We had a first-class romp with this couple later in the evening. And... drum roll... we are seeing them again tomorrow night. It is too soon to tell, but I am somewhat hopeful that we'll see this couple more than twice.

 

It was such a pleasure to be with people who are looking for the same things we are. There was none of that "We're not really sure, we're just testing the waters" stuff. None of this "we want to be swingers, but we want most of our get-togethers to not include sex".

 

This is the way we really like it: we didn't dilly-dally around with a lot of emails. We exchanged face pictures, we talked on the phone, we made a date. We had a four-way attraction. Neither I nor Mr. Fuse were sure we were attracted at first (it was kind of borderline) but their personalities and company definitely helped. We enjoyed a lot of conversation. We all wanted to play, and no one said "we don't play on the first date". And we are all very sexually compatible, at least it seems like it so far. Some first playtimes are better than others, and this one was definitely up there for both of us.

 

So we'll continue to go out often, and have a good time... and hope to find that prize, the couple or couples to have an ongoing playful friendship with. We may have just found one. Fingers crossed... legs not...

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The ones where attraction is there in all the right combinations, where they live reasonably close (like within an hour), where schedules are manageable, where we enjoy socializing together... and the most important thing: all four people involved want to see each other on a continuing basis.

 

These are a great set of goals, and have similar thoughts, but we find the scheduling aspect is the most difficult to match up. We're busy, the other couple is busy, all are busy, lol. And even the distance is sometimes hard to match as we have found a number of couples that we really like, have seen more than once, socialize well but they are more than an hour away, 1 is even 4-5 hours away (they are a whole weekend event!).

 

Your story does not sound that far away from most people we have interacted with, their experiences in the lifestyle as well as ours. (except for the getting caught at a regular bar!)

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Well, we've had date #2 and everything was really, really good... I mean, really good. We all agree we want to keep seeing each other. I don't know when #3 will be but for right now I'm very happy to bask in the glow.

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Thanks Michael and PB&J! We'll see what happens from here. We're not "the four of you" yet by any means. Actually I don't think this couple is a candidate for a close relationship. I would be thrilled if we could see them regularly for fun and sex, with everyone being happy about it.

 

There's one other couple we've been seeing since last Christmas, but that's on it's way out I believe, because the other lady doesn't really do it for Mr. Fuse. That was a weaker match to being with and it has just run its course. Too bad. That was a nice one; just fun and sex every once in a while without anything getting complicated. If we could have that with this new couple, only with a better four-way match, I will be overjoyed.

Edited by The Fuse

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We've found a couple about 3 hrs away, with compatability all around. We 4 would love to find others within weekend driving distance, but, even with both couples working at it, potential further matches are relatively few. We're in the upper tier of swinger ages, but still, you'd think, with peoples' kids launched on their own, they'd be thinking about new friends? But so many contacts just don't work out.

Thanks, Fuse, for the account of seeking. 'Makes us realize that we have to soldier on.

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Third date with the couple mentioned at the end of this blog entry, and things are still going strong. We will see them at a big Hallowe'en house party this weekend as well.

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