I started posting this as a forum post, but decided it got waaaaayy long and figured a blog would be better.

There's numerous forum discussions about one night stands, sex as much and as fast as you can, or stating you are not a bedpost notcher in your online profile.

I don't consider my wife and I looking to play with every couple in sight, accumulating those notches. But then again, if opportunities present themselves to us, we are more than happy to grab the bull by the horns so to speak!

Last week, at a house party I was with 3 different women (4 if you count the one I just went down on). First time I've had that opportunity and it was great. One of the women I had been with before and the other three we've know from house parties, but have just not had a chance to get together. Does that mean I'm a bedpost notcher type person? I don't feel that way, as I think the notcher connotation points to attitude. I didn't start the night intending to chase after women (well hoping at least one) and the opportunities just sort of happened as the night went on. Right place at the right time sort of thing.

Many people (ourselves included) go to house parties, hotel conventions, travel to lifestyle resorts and most times wind up meeting a couple or person you like and play at that event. Many times you are not going to see that person again, unless it's a regular house party crowd (which we also have). I would call these experience one night stands especially if there is little chance you will cross paths with the couple again. For the most part isn't this what swinging is all about, sex with other people (ignoring the poly aspects where you really want the relationship side). Is there a rationalization going here that makes it more acceptable if you are friends with the couple? When we first started swinging we had a friends first sex later concept, sort of because we thought that made sense, but had no idea how difficult (and time consuming) it was to accomplish this. Not we try to balance the two better with finding a couple we seem to like and will play right away if things click.

So why does there seem to be a negative aspect of lets meet, lets play, and maybe we won't see you again (and perhaps even what was your name again!) ? There's another thread here somewhere about bedpost notching, similar topic. Provided we like the couple and things click sexually we typically will stay in contact for more playtimes, but there's been a few couples where that has not happened (either issues why not to meet again, or just distance issues).

We've been swinging since November and right now we have 10+ couples that we maintain contact with both socially and sexually. While we really enjoy this, it does get to be a scheduling nightmare trying to keep up with everyone. And it just keeps growing as we attend house parties and have opportunities to play with other people. There are times were it's nice just to do a no strings attached encounter at a party.