It's just because he said so....

Thats all.

Respect that, use your own concience.

Re-reading this I suppose it seems like I am acting like a temperamental child. I didn't want to come across like that. I am respecting his wishes, and as far as I know she is too. It just seems out of place for him and is upsetting for her. But his house, his rules, no worries. I still get to drive the Bimmer.

My guess is that he wants assurance that his wife will not bond too much emotionally with another man while he is gone. Limiting the amount of time she sees someone else is a fairly effective way to do that, since being physically close is an important part of bonding. Even though it may seem a little petty to draw an arbitrary line, I'd have to go "+1" on the opinion that it's his marriage, so the rules are what they are. You can have a lot of fun once every two weeks and it will be less likely that she will transfer her primary bond to you while he is absent.

Fuse is correct.

Your friend I think has a good idea, instinctive or otherwise, of how relationships and bonding works. Hes being more than generous by giving her an release like that once every two weeks. Most women in her situation don't get that sort of trust from their husband.

Having a practically live in fuck buddy would be asking for trouble in their marriage in my opinion.

Honestly if I were in his situation, even though we are swingers, I'd be very reluctant to let my wife play at all. Again not do to jealousy but simply due to what I would perceive as possible risks to the relationship.

Concur with Fuse and Chicup. I think the husband is being very kind in letting his wife have some sex while he's off in the sandbox. Separation is a hard thing, on both those that are going and those left behind. I've known of too many spouses left behind when the ship sails, who immediately start jumping in someone else's bed, and have far more than fuck buddies while their spouse is away, and completely unknowing. I'm sure you're well aware of similar stories and have seen it more or less first hand when some unit other than your own deploys.

In this case, the husband is being very understanding and caring in letting his wife play while he is gone. He just wants to make sure he comes home to his wife, not someone else's girlfriend. I seriously doubt he's going to see much play time (if at all) while he's in the sandbox himself. I think it's very magnanimous of him.

I don't see this as drama at all. In fact, rather the opposite.

I can't speak to how I would handle that situation. I got out of the military before I got married. It was a conscious decision that I didn't want to be married while wearing a uniform. I never liked the thought of being away from my spouse for 4, 6, 8, 12 months at a time. I do know that I trust my wife completely, and that if she felt she were emotionally slipping towards someone there wouldn't be any questions; she'd cut it off and break contact with the guy. Maybe this guy trusts his wife completely too, but is unsure of her ability to cut it off, or she is unsure of her own ability to cut it off.

Another possible aspect of this is highly perceptive children (more than you can possibly imagine) figuring out that their funky uncle is more than just a friend of the family. By limiting how much play time there is, the father is minimizing the potential impact of that, and/or trying to find a happy medium where his wife isn't deprived of sex, but neither do his children think their mother is having an affair. Kids are a LOT more perceptive than people give them credit for.

UPDATE: Again; in retrospect it seems like I was: a) putting in my 2 cents where it doesn't belong. b) being selfish and petty. & c) being unappreciative and disrespectful. Since I'd posted this thread back in November I've been staying with her and living by the laws of the land, so to speak. I help out around the house, provide dinner on occasions (but she's a much better cook) and my share of the bills. We've had no problem keeping our relationship strictly platonic. I even have my own room in the house I stay in at night. On occasion she'll come and drag me to her's for some "Help Sleeping". Otherwise we've managed to keep it all in perspective. Would this qualify as a "Poly"? Just curious. Anyways, It's also amusing to the neighbors who've started their own rumors. We just leave them in the dark about it. It's her idea, and to hear her say it "It's none of their business." So I leave it where it is. Also; the hubby comes home in 2 months and the party will be Epic. But Thanks to all of you for the advice and input. That's why I keep coming here.