We can't realistically expect every experience to be straight from the fairy tales. People are human with all our flaws and sexual incompatibilities. Every couple has a few experiences that are less than perfect. I think it's great that yall got lucky with your first experience and had a good time. Experience with this will help you redirect an encounter or terminate one that is hopeless.

I think it's interesting that the ungratifying experience didn't bring you two closer together. As a husband, that was one of the things I valued about our early swinging experiences that were less than stellar - we quickly and easily comforted each other. I challenge you to look back on the events and explore opportunities for you to gracefully terminate the unexciting activities and change them into a mutually satisfying encounter. And keep a plan B to signal your husband that you need some time with him. Without the closeness we can feel with our spouse, swinging easily degrades into just fucking the neighbors. There is so much more to be had.

Find the source of that jealous feeling inside yourself. Was it real? Or was it distorted because the encounter was other than what you were looking for? I think you two have learned some things and strongly need to communicate your feelings to each other.

I also encourage you to go to the parties. There are no rules that require any sexual interaction by anyone. If you choose to play or not, that's completely fine. You mentioned something about looking for a small group of regular playmates to click with. We found our click at local house parties before we realized how sought-after that situation was. I guess we got lucky. You can't get lucky if you don't go.

I wish you the best of luck!!

we are closer in the sense that now we have talked about it and we are really communicating...but the "day after" it felt like we were 1000's of miles away...at least for me it did. I don't know what the source of jealousy was for me...because the first time we did anything that is exactly what I expected and I didn't have any of those feelings...this time I went in with no worries and ended up with them.....I'm not a jealous person either....and not to be conceded but I am a nice looking woman, in good shape and have had plenty of men hit on me over the years. The other lady was nice looking but I had no reason to feel jealous in that respect...the jealousy feeling was sharing the intimacy, connection I have with my husband. I'm not sure if I want to share that or give that up if that makes sense. OR risk what we have.

We had a similar experience some years ago.In our case the other couple attempted to exclude my husband. I stopped the party, when I saw my husband wasn't being included. We chose to chaulk it up to experience and move on. One thing we do now is choose a safe word that either one can use and both will stop the session. Luckily we haven't had to use it ,but we both know that if at any time either one of us feels uncomfortable or is not enjoying themself it can stop. No questions asked.

I think that is a very good way to be....