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exploratory sex

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socolais

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The puritanical baggage so prevalent in society suggests that sex should be something special and have a "meaning". The concept of Friends With Benefits lies somewhere near the other end of the continuum. What does it take for two (or more) people to be interested in enjoying an hour or so of sexual exploration? What are our expectations about the gratification we'll experience? And the thrill we'll provide?

 

Yes, of course there's the ever-present visual attraction layer and everyone has their unique threshold or strike zone. For the sake of this discussion, let's assume that agenda is satisfied - but only marginally so. She's cute, in a copacetic kind of way.

 

What is it about her that invokes my interest in contributing toward her sexual entertainment for the evening? Perhaps it's her voice or her apparent intelligence that captures my curiosity. Perhaps I see evidence of her sensuosity and it calls for a more intimate understanding. I summon all my powers of observation and reckoning to appraise the probability of her being fun in bed and our preferences being compatable.

 

Will she have me? Do I meet or exceed her acceptance criteria? Who else is she pondering? How do I stand with the competition? Is there a comfortable place to play? Does she have any silly-assed rules that would limit our mutual consummation? What do I think of her spouse and how does he react to me?

 

Let's assume she convincingly acts flattered by my offer and we find an available space. We undress each other with nibbles, caresses and playful laughter while we tune into each other's mind. I gaze into her eyes searching for clues to stimulations she'll fondly remember.

 

To explore strange new woman-flesh,,,, to boldly go where I've never gone before....

 

There are an infinite number of variations on a good time. Do we measure our enjoyment by the number or subjective intensity of the orgasms? Do we delight in the tingles and compassionate moments we share? Do we feel an effective connection? Do we both perceive our share of "benefits"? Do we measure a successful encounter by our willingness to play together again at a future party? Were there any unfulfilled expectations? How do we decide to terminate the playtime?

 

On the other hand, perhaps it's simply an opportunity to explore the hedonistic indulgence of a fresh mind and cute body BEFORE we learn repulsive things about each other.

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There can often be a euphoria in exploring the new.

 

I remember the first time that I had sex with a woman where we both knew and expected that it was sex and sex only. We'd been friends for a long time. She was married, her husband knew and approved, and we spent an incredible afternoon together. The sex was wonderful, and the euphoria I felt afterwards was rather intense.

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oh socolais...how I have missed reading your posts... :)

 

and I will have to disagree on one point (I think I just have to do it on principle :lol:)...I do not think that Friends with Benefits are on the opposite end of the continuum of the "meaningful"/loving/committed sex our society so loves to espouse. I think that it is much closer to the meaningful end of the spectrum (the other end may be the "what's your name? that was awesome" lmao).

 

I think that's why so many people want to make friends before hopping in the sack...it's more acceptable to them to "know" someone and feel like they have some sort of deeper connection than those people that just seem to jump in bed willy-nilly with strangers.

 

The thrill of course is in the "new-ness" of the partner...sure we've all seen our partner's goodies repeatedly...and since we're all made off of the same relative model...why should someone else's incite such a level of excitement? Sometimes it is the consent between partners to play together...obviously in other scenarios that consent is not given and I'm sure that also adds it's own dimension of excitement.

 

Overall...I tend to make sure that my male partner has a good time...mostly because so far, they have not seemed particuarly committed to making sure I reach any level of completion. Perhaps I'm a bit jaded with my exceptionally low expectations of our swinging encounters...because I do try to go in with an open mind and a high level of enjoyment when we do play.

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An interesting reflection on sexual attraction and the response thus elicited. All day long at the office I am logical, deliberate and consider alternatives carefully. When at a lifestyles party, especially in the presence of women to whom I have not yet been introduced, I allow myself the luxury of acting irrationally, spontaneously and impulsively. At least 50 precent of the time I end up with no drink thrown in my face.

Edited by SW_PA_Couple

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