Julie

We are so sorry to hear that you are in pain! If I recall, hasn't it beena couple months since that ahppened to you? Have you seen anyone aobut the issue?

As for not playing and your husband not taking you up on your offer, I fully understand and am the very same way. When Mrs. CXXC is unable to play (Solo or otherwise) I will not. It is a respect and fairness thing. I want her to be happy and not feel sad. So, I will happily do without. I personally would not care if she were out playing and I was unable to, but that is another story!

We truly hope that you are better soon and that you can actually experience this wonderful lifestyle personally. Reading aobut the fun and excitement is only a good thing when you have the very same thing to look forward to.

Our thoughts are with you for a speedy recovery!

I really do feel bad for you Julie, I'm feeling the same way but on a smaller scale. I'm going to two socials (one last weekend) where I can't participate much because I had a hyst 4 weeks ago. At least I have an end in sight. Have they figured out what's going on yet?

Frustration with things we can't control seems so automattic when we're involved with the cascade of events happening to us. We can consiously choose to find the happiest path from where we are to wherever tomorrow takes us.

Have a look at karezza and see if there might be some fun in there.

I've been in treatment for this for a year now. Basically anything that causes my muscles to spasm causes me pain, and often for days. I should by stock in Ben Gay Icy/Hot patches. Improvement means avoiding muscle spasms for as long as possible, which is virtually impossible.

TMJ is a bitch, my dad suffered with it for years. It just helps, to keep an eye on things we CAN do.

Julie, I'm so sorry that you are still having such a problem. I do, however, understand how you are feeling about board participation. Since currently we are not swinging, I stop by and read but don't often feel the urge to post. I feel disconnected in a way and don't feel qualified to voice an opinion for the most part. It's been too long since I faced some of these issues.

Jealous? Envious?

Would I continue to have an interest in The Swingersboard if, for some reason or another, I was not longer able to participate in lifestyles activities. No way to know for sure.

If I had a magic wand, I would wave it.

I can only imagine how tough it is for you, reading about other experiences knowing you have none to share right now.

But, this is just a blip in your lifetime. And what a man you've got by your side that won't play without you even if given the chance. That just says you mean more to him than swinging. And how many stories have you read over the years where that is not the case??

I don't blame you for not being as active on the site. You feel you have nothing to share. Oh to the contrary my dear. You still have so many experiences and so much swinging wisdom, that it would be a shame not to be active in the different threads. Just remember, you're helping others learn things that you had to learn on your own, with no Swingersboard to vent on, share with, get advice from.

So hang in there, and remember that just because you aren't swinging right now, you have a lot to offer Pet, and everyone on this board.

I am just guessing here, but a year from now this will all be behind you, and you'll leave behind how tough it was. So live vicariously through others, enjoy your man that loves you tremendously, and we're all here for you just like you have been here for all of us.

I'm also guessing that you have made many friends in the lifestyle over the years that like you for who you are, swinging or not, that would still love to just hang out with you guys. We would be one of those couples!

*hugs*

Mrs. NC

Thanks for all the words of encouragement. This time more than anything has proven to us that there are many in this lifestyle who are there for you regardless of whether or not you are playing with them. We've told very few people locally what is going on, but we have a few that we really consider friends so we tell them. We still go to one local party each month (the same one), the one we consider our "home" group and we have a great time socializing. We try not to lead anyone on, and for that reason have told a few couples what is going on - those few being ones we either consider really good friends or whom we'd play with in a heartbeat otherwise (and we don't want them thinking there is some other reason we aren't playing). There are others who make it clear they want to play but we just brush them off a bit, even though we might would play with them if the situation were different, they aren't people we've developed enough of a relationship with to care what they think. I know that sounds bad.

We have many great friends that we've made through this site all over the country, and we appreciate that more than anything, but it's nice to finally be making some locally as well.

We went to a party with some of our friends a couple of hours away about a month ago and realize that it's pointless for us to do so right now. While at home we can still be friendly and have fun, when we go away it's like "what's the point?". We aren't going to hook up with anyone and chances are we won't even see these people again so it's not like there's any chance of developing anything beyond just hooking up. So why go. So until things change we'll limit ourselves to our one 'home" party and know that those are the people we can call up on a Friday night and just go out and have dinner with, or call and chat with for 2 hours. It's a nice feeling having friends that you can be totally YOU with.

Julie,

My best wishes for you. and may the day come speedily that you no longer have pain. I know what it's like to be in pain all the time. It really messes with your mind as well as your body. It WILL go away, you WILL feel better. You will look back on this time and wonder where "you" went. I am glad you are still engaged with your friends and hanging in there in the ways that count. Keep working toward that happy day.

Julie,

Very sorry to hear that you're still having problems.

As was commented, you've got someone special in Pet, in that he won't play without you, despite being given permission.

As for not being around more, despite not having new experiences to share, you are still a fount of wisdom for those of us still taking our first, tentative steps into swinging.

Jason

It's not about having nothing to share, just feeling a disconnect from what others post about, makes it hard to really "relate" to the threads at the moment. I end up a lot more impatient and more likely to pass a thread by with the attitude of "I've answered that a dozen times before" rather than the patience of being willing to type out a new response to what often feel like the same old questions.

I think for everyone, interest in the board kind of ebbs and flows based on where they are at with swinging right then. Not getting out much for whatever reason, then interest falls off since it becomes more of a hypothetical, not something you did last weekend or will this weekend. When that happens, it is easy to pass on by posts you might otherwise comment on, guilty as charged here.

But what I try to remember though is while the question may be the same, the person asking it isn't. It's one thing to read old posts of other people who have the same questions you have, but for newbies especially, it's another to ask the question in your own words then get responses from people who cared enough to take the time to post a response. That helps so much. You've not only provided a forum for those people to come to, you've patiently answered their questions yourself so many, many times and made them feel that someone did care about their fears, concerns, etc. As others have said, just because you aren't able to do everything you would like to right now, you are and have been such a huge help to everyone who comes here, and for that you should be proud.

You and Pet hang in there, it will get better.