Expression or word used in on-line personals advertisement ---> English

Life of the party ---> Hide your liquor bottles.

Fun loving ---> Hide your wife.

Not Ken and Barbie ---> Herman and Lili

Must be discreet ---> I’m married and my wife has no idea I am doing this.

Afternoons are best ---> I’m married and my wife has no idea I am doing this.

Will try anything once ---> Crossing my fingers that you don’t take this literally.

We’re just the couple next door ---> There’s a dead body in our basement.

Help us fulfill our fantasies ---> You can’t come even close to guessing how fertile my imagination is.

Not camera shy ---> Your new XXX video will flash around the World so fast your heads will spin.

Just ask, we’ll answer ---> Gotcha! You forgot to ask if we are serial killers.

Send your reply to this Yahoo address ---> The IT department blocks sex Web sites.

Really enjoy camping ---> We’re too cheap to rent a hotel room.

We have very busy lives ---> Don’t hold your breath while waiting for our reply.

Just want to see what’s out there ---> I’m completely tongue-tied in front of a woman unless she is the two-dimensional kind who appears on a computer screen.

We’re attractive, in-shape, educated, sophisticated, and sun-tanned ---> We live on another planet.

Wife is not sure ---> Maybe next week I’ll get the courage to actually ask her.

Prefer to watch ---> Haven’t had a hard-on in three years.

Really enjoy giving oral sex ---> Haven’t had a hard-on in four years.

I have a very talented tongue ---> Haven’t had a hard-on in five years.

tung ---> tongue

tunge ---> tongue

tungue ---> tongue

tounge ---> tongue

tunng ---> tongue

Looking for adventure ---> We have no earthly idea what this thing is all about.

Looking for like-minded people ---> We have no earthly idea what this thing is all about.

Looking for new experiences ---> We have no earthly idea what this thing is all about.

Looking to heat things up a bit ---> We have no earthly idea what this thing is all about.