I think it's easy to get caught in the trap of intently pursuing orgasms (for self or playmate). Sometimes they happen and sometimes they don't. Very few people at the party are behind in their quota of orgasms. Just have fun and sexually explore a strange new partner. If they want an orgasm, they are likely to help guide you there. Just have some fun with it...

Is that how that read? That's not necessarily what I meant. Not that orgasms aren't nice I just meant that certainly there are some things that you like more, and some that you like less, and it would be best for your own enjoyment to - while you're the focus - direct to and away from those places/activities respectively. We've done a number of workshops with the center for sexpositive culture out here, and it's just very apparent that either people are too shy to ask for what they want, or they don't really know in a lot of cases. Not ruling the latter out, of course.

The other aspect of this is that when others are so quiet, it makes it seem awkward to give any amount of direction yourself. We recently played with a couple who I'd have sworn were both mute. Not even the usual "Mmm" and "Ooo"'s. They want to play again, so clearly we weren't doing it wrong but, in the moment, it sure felt like it.

Anyway, a bit of a brain dump there. Lea suggested that maybe it's a Gen-Y thing... requiring constant feedback. Maybe it is. But I'd really like to know how to earn that cookie

Watching one of those restaurant reality shows where the restaurant is failing the owner always says 'people always say the food is great'. Hes not lying, its just that people are reluctant to tell you the bad, they just don't come back.

It would be nice to get such feedback in all things in life, but alas, it just doesn't happen, even on comment cards.

Yes, I know what you mean. We would always like to play with any given couple more than once, if we're playing with them once. Sex gets soooo much better with repetition.

We agree which brings up the issue of the 1-2 and out couples.

Was it US or was it they don't want to get 'attached'.

I think many couples, in spite of what we read here on the Board, prefer moving on to the new even if they have a good experience. I don't think we've had many (if any) "2-and-out". Lots of 1-and-out though. Sometimes I think it's us. Sometimes I have good reason to think that. (Occasionally, though rarely, it is them.) Sometimes they just want sometime different.

I'm not sure I want to know.

Yeah, Chicup, I guess that even we fudge comment cards. :P I honestly think it's too bad since, as Fuse said, sex gets better with practice. Just feels like missed opportunity in a lot of cases. C'est la vie, I suppose. Like all things in this lifestyle, look long enough and eventually you may find what you search for, eh?

We don't need different, in fact we like playing again and again with couples where we really click. However, we've been two-and-out with a few couples, our choice. If a couple seems really nice, and sex the first time is ok, we like to give it a second go, just to see if maybe with familiarity comes a greater "wow". However, in a few cases, it didn't, and we decided to move on. Not sure how to explain it in cases like that... maybe a comment card would come in handy. Actually,in all cases I believe it was ME who made the final decision. PB is usually less willing to pull the plug, but if I'm not wowed by the second time around, it's not enough to keep me going. There's enough wows out there to keep us busy... lol.

I think many couples, in spite of what we read here on the Board, prefer moving on to the new even if they have a good experience. I don't think we've had many (if any) "2-and-out". Lots of 1-and-out though. Sometimes I think it's us. Sometimes I have good reason to think that. (Occasionally, though rarely, it is them.) Sometimes they just want sometime different.

Our magic number is two. Maybe we are just that good they need one more taste of the Chicup before, regretfully, feeling the need to back away lest they be overcome with emotion.

Yea... thats it..

MRs. CXXC and I are of the opinion that, if once was good, the second was great, the third should be fantastic. If the third is not fantastic or not great, the 4th time should make up for it! In other words, if we have played with you twice, we are pretty certain we will want to again and again and again! There must have been something about you that we liked, so why toss it after one or two times. New is great but practice makes perfect!