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Worse Than Kids
My Mom and Dad live about six hours driving distance. Sometimes I think the only time they get out of their house is when JoAnn and visit and push them out the door. Don't get me wrong. We are both happy that they are so very healthy considering their number of years. We visited recently and had two plans in-mind even before we showed up.
1) Encourage them to go with us to the local cineplex to see a good movie like Avatar or Invictus.
2) Convince my Mom that she should have her own computer -- a Netbook.
We had their coats on them and were heading them out the door when plan number one got blown to smithereens. My younger brother shows up (unannounced) and remarks, "Oh, that movie is more than three hours long." Well, that excites my Dad into a resonance, "You know I can't 'hold it' that long." "You can sit in the aisle seat", I answer. But the damage was done. So we agreed to a compromise. We'd go to the cineplex and pick another nice (shorter) movie. We get there and my Mom picks Chipmunks. Ninety minutes of pure hell. And not once does my Dad have to get up to pee.
So, plan number two. We had visited the electronics store ahead of time and had coached one of the brighter-looking sales people on how to show my Mom how easy it was to use a Netbook and convince my Dad that by setting up a password on the wireless router, nobody was going to be able to steal any social-security numbers. Well an assistant sales clerk blew this one when he launched into a story about how people drive around suburban neighborhoods looking for wireless signals to decode. I was furious. I am never again going to darken the door of a Radio Shack store.
The remainder of the visit was pleasant. We can claim one small victory. We got Mom and Dad out for a nice dinner with all of the other local family members. Instead of the early-bird-special places upon which they were insisting, we took them to a real restaurant. You know, the kind having real table linens and such. At the end of it they admitted, without prompting, that it was a good idea.
~Michael
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