I guess that would make me a slut, then. That sounds like fun to me. I went home with a girl I met only 4 hours prior and couldn't speak more than a hand full of words with due to the language barrier. My friends all say there's something wrong with me for that one.

Not for me ! Call me old-fashioned and I see the Domination affect but my reply would be "No Thanks" and I'm Not big on turning down pussy!!!! I still like the tease, foreplay, introduction of some sort, can they put 2 sentences together, & treated with a little respect!! I would take that command as a joke & treat it as such. Being a swinger doesn't discard courtesy and a little class !

Just my 2 cents.

Words only have power if you allow them to. If you view the word "slut" as derogatory then it is. If you view it as empowering, then it is.

The word "slut" is commonly defined as a woman who is considered sexually promiscuous. By that definition, I am a slut as I have sex with men, other than my husband, on a casual basis. However, I look at the word "slut" as empowering and therefore to me it's a woman who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to ask for and/or go out and get it.

In other words, if someone views me as a slut, in a derogatory way, that's their problem, not mine, because the way I view myself is in a very fun and empowering way.

In the scenarios you described I do not view either the man or the woman as a slut (vanilla world definition)...in fact, that's pretty normal behavior at the parties we attend and I would consider either man or woman engaging in said activities as just having fun.

T.

Mrs. CXXC belongs to a group called S.L.U.T.S. (Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress). I would also have to say that being a slut is a state of mind, not so much a label based upon actions (In the Lifestyle that is)

Mrs. CXXC summed it up best when packing for an overnight party. Holding a particular item of clothing in the air for me to view, she asked me, "Does this outfit look slutty enough?"

As T. said, it is empowering or degrading. All based upon the individual.

To me, a slut is a negative connotation used by the vanilla world to describe a female who may have a high sex drive. It is unfortunate that our society sees females as sluts and males as studs.

Personally, I don't know anybody in the lifestyle that is a slut, male or female. There are some who just like to play more than others.

There are a couple of great threads that address this question, in the forums:

https://www.swingersboard.com/forums/topic/34739-define-quotslutquot/

https://www.swingersboard.com/forums/topic/27112-people-think-i-am-a-slut/

https://www.swingersboard.com/forums/topic/27177-im-not-a-slut-im-selectively-easy/

https://www.swingersboard.com/forums/topic/35161-slut-vs-whore/

Appreciate the response to my question I put out there....Never wanted to offend anyone just put that question out there more for curiousity than anything else. I do believe myself that the "labels" we put on people are not always fair but sometimes they are when appropriate.....

Having a high sex drive does not make someone a "slut." There's more to a "slut" than just liking sex.

The English language needs a word to describe a person who loves sex and has it a lot. That word is nymphomaniac. The English language also needs a word to describe a person who selfishly has sex at the expense of their own honesty and integrity, at the expense of their children and relationships, at the expense of the unwitting partners of the people they're having sex with, as well as a disregard for the health of themselves and their partners, for nothing more than quick sexual gratification. It's a high sex drive with a refusal of accountability. The word for that is slut.

As a community of people who celebrate honesty and sex, it should be reasonable that we look negatively on behaviors (and people) who have no true respect for sex, but who have only an uncontrolled and irresponsible desire (and intention) to get it any way they can, with anyone they want and at anyone's expense.

To answer the original question, a swinger who isn't a slut would be someone who is conscientious of everyone who could be impacted by their sexual actions and makes an effort to respect their partners (and their partners' partners) and generally act responsibly when it comes to finding and having sex.

A swinger who is a slut would be someone who thinks nothing of harming relationships, doesn't care about their health or anyone else's, and selfishly seeks sex without consideration for anyone and without any regard for consequences that they or others may pay for their actions.

Yes, people misuse the word "slut" and throw it around a lot because they want to denigrate someone they're jealous of or because it's an easy insult. But we just have to remember, there's a reason for the word. There is a such thing as a slut. And yes, sexycouple1, there is a time when it is appropriate.