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In sickness and in health

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mikeandjenn2001

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I remember speaking these words almost nine years ago. They still have meaning to me and I'm not going anywhere although it has been difficult at times.

 

Jen has recently started experiencing pains in her ovaries again. She has experienced them before, a few months ago and when she went to the Dr, they said that they had located some cysts, but it could be a possible side effect from her having an IUD. The IUD was removed and everything went back to normal...or so we thought. Now the pains are coming back and the Dr is talking about a possible total hysterectomy.

 

I wish I could say that this is the first time that Jen has been severely sick, but it is not. Jen has had a myriad of health problems since we got married starting with us being involved in a car accident in 2001. We were rear ended and Jen's shoulder was injured to the point that she could not work. Later that year, she was diagnosed with Celiac Sprue/Gluten Intolerance. In 2002, she contracted cellulitis in her foot from a cat scratch and had to undergo several surgeries and procedures to completely remove the infection. There have been more injuries and illness of varying degrees over the nine years we've been married.

 

I do love her and support her while she is sick, but there are times when I get exasperated with her. As I said in the beginning, I still stand by what I said nine years ago and I will not leave her because of illness that is beyond her control, but with her recent illness, I have to stop and wonder, what will be in our future.

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Nobody knows what's in the future, do they? My crystal ball fell and broke many years ago and I don't even guess.

 

Life threw me a curve ball back in November and I don't see us swinging for a long, long time. I know that Dave loves me, and it won't matter how long it takes for me to get better. He just wants me better. Really Mike, don't get exasperated. It's not her fault that her body is turning against her. Appreciate the small stuff and that you're both still together and you have a wonderful life. Maybe that's what I've learned from my life-threatening experience. You just learn to not sweat the small stuff anymore. You go on with life as best you can. I'm sure Dave wonders as well what our future holds. Who knows? Maybe I should have Dave respond to this... He might be the better one to answer this. Hang in there.

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So a married couple are on a drive when there is a terrible accident. Sadly his wife is killed in the crash. After the funeral, the husband goes home and his wife's spirit appears to him and says "Oh honey, I'm a ghost now. And I'm going to spend the rest of your life sharing a love with you like no other. We'll be together every second of every day. Isn't that Romantic?" And the husband replies. "Hey, I don't think so. The deal was until death do us part. Tomorrow I'm going to call your sister."

I know, that's wrong of me.

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With sincerest apologies: This is why one should not "board" when they are drinking. I'd had a few, messed around with a friend, then went onto the board and thought it would be funny to post a joke on this thread. I didn't study the depth of the post and now I feel like an ass for doing something so insensitive and inappropriate. Mike, Jenn, I hope you can forgive me. I don't blame you if I suffer some sort of repercussion from this: Banned from the board for 6 months or something. Again, I'm sorry.

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I accept your apology. I also wish you luck. Your profile says you're in Iraq. While I don't know if you still are deployed or back at home, I have been there myself and I know it's not a fun place. Stay safe.

 

Mike

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Thanks for being so understanding. And I do need to update that thing. Got back from Iraq back in October. I'm living in Germany now. I hope all is going in your favor now, as things could not be better for myself. Thank you for your wish of good luck for me. Take care.

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My suggestion is to get some third party counseling. In that your wife may need to hear that she needs to do more regarding her health and recovery. The key thing is to realize, and you may need to learn this from a counselor, is that over time she should get better. It may take more time than you like, however. It's always good to hear this from a qualified party who is qualified and credentialed. .

 

I recall Stephen King recently being asked about his statement years ago that he would never write again because of being run over by a van and the terrible pain he was in. His answer was, "It took time, but I got better."

 

Lastly, take this with a grain of salt, focus on what you can do and not on what you cannot do. All my hopes-Susan

Edited by Swing*8701

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