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Just for laughs; The Fuck-buddy Application.

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dumbasarock10

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Fuck Buddy Application

 

Age:

 

Ethnicity:

 

Location:

 

Height:

 

Weight:

 

Hair Color:

 

Eye Color:

 

 

Please list your Fuck Buddy experience(s) below:

 

 

Please describe your genital grooming habits:

 

 

What is your availability (ie.. 1x per week, 2x per week...etc):

 

 

Please answer the following questions regarding ORAL SEX:

 

Do you enjoy receiving cunnilingus?:

 

Do you enjoy mutual fellatio/cunnilingus, otherwise referred to as '69'?

 

 

Please answer the following questions regarding VAGINAL SEX:

 

Please list the following positions in order of preference:

1) missionary

2) girl on top

3) doggie style

4) reverse cowgirl

5) spoon

(feel free to supplement this list with unlisted positions)

 

What is your preferred method/location of receiving male ejaculate? :

 

 

Please answer the following questions regarding ANAL SEX:

 

Do you partake in activities in and around your anus?:

(If yes, please list these activities)

 

 

What is the desired frequency of these activites (ie..twice per month...etc):

 

 

What is your preferred position when engaged in anal intercourse (if applicable):

 

 

Please answer the following with TRUE or FALSE:

 

1) I do not consider an 8" cock to constitute a hostile work environment:

 

2) I do not bring boyfriends, stalking ex-boyfriends or other assorted dramas to my place of employment:

 

3) I do not have any sexually transmitted diseases: (must answer true)

 

4) I do not object to the use of condoms: (must answer true)

 

5) I understand that every effort will be made to induce orgasm(s) for my enjoyment, but do not expect a guarantee of one (or more) if I am having a stressfull day or experiencing any other complication that would inhibit said orgasm:

 

6) I understand that my 'fuck buddy' will continue to date in the traditional manner, and is free to engage is sexual activity with due notice, but most likely will not during my time of 'employment':

 

7) I understand that while words such as 'employment' have been used in this questionaire that there is absolutely no financial compensation for this position:

 

8) I believe that the only thing better than a tall, handsome fuck buddy is a tall, handsome fuck buddy with a sense of humor:

 

9) I understand that interviews for qualified candidates will begin on Friday and that if given an appointment time I may be asked to perform fellatio:

haterade

05-29-2005, 10:39 PM

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Hey! I don't see a place for "gender". Is the application exclusively for females? Or is meant, rather, to be "unisex".

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Ya know; you're right. There isn't. Although most of the questions do seem geared towards a female interviewie. Either way, I to get past that curiosity one way or the other. Thanks for pointing it out SWPA.

Edited by dumbasarock10

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How many of these does the prospective fuck buddy have to answer correctly to win the position? My application form would be much briefer:

 

1) Are you female?

 

2) Are you breathing?

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