Interesting thought. Mutual objectification is harmless, I suppose, until it's not. I don't think objectification in and of itself is immoral; however, certainly it can have a negative impact and should be checked when it reaches that level.

I've experienced the process of being promoted from sexual object to treasured lover, then demoted to friend with benefits (the equivalent of "familiar sexual object"). Objectification, under those circumstances, can be painful. You make the veto sound like such a powerful and classy response, lol. But I personalize...

Thanks for the mental exercise:)

I agree that looking for things like BBC or BBW or very specific attributes does objectify things. What about specifically looking for girl/girl only play. A very fit couple looking for the same?

But at the very core of swinging, isn't it about what I or We want? Aren't we allowed to choose what we like? We're not looking for a life partner (well perhaps some are); we are not looking for even a long term relationship. (though if a friendship comes out of the experience, bonus!)

We are not looking to fulfill our playmate's desires at the expense of of our own. And we are not looking to fulfill our needs to the detriment of our playmates. We both enjoy the mental and physical interactions with out playmates.

Thank you both for your comments, they helped me refine my thoughts on this.

Every human interaction or transaction is potentially motivated or biased by objectification on some level. I think sexual interactions are especially prone to objectification. We can't read each other's true thoughts and therefore as a self-defense mechanism, we must assume the potential of being objectified. Our tolerance for objectification may vary from one situation or encounter to the next. And perhaps the mutuality and ubiquity of objectification influence our individual tolerance. We can be tolerant while we generally prefer the objectification remain covert or at least below a certain threshold. Our tolerance represents consent (or ignorance) and when objectification becomes intolerable, we exercise our veto.

I think the immorality of objectification comes mostly from selfish disrespect for others and the potential for abuse. When the power dynamic of the individuals involved is noticeably imbalanced, objectification strongly disadvantages the weaker. Most of our morality rules aim to protect the weak from corrupt exploitation by the strong.

Wow, that paints an ugly picture of our swinging behaviors. And if we were to stop right there, it would likely constitute sufficient grounds to label swinging as an intolerably immoral behavior for a civilized society. Every cloud has a silver lining and swinging is not necessarily as evil as the earlier paragraphs may suggest - but it still remains an interestingly precarious balance.

I think the obverse of objectification is genuine respect and appreciation. As an example, I can have greater respect for someone who takes care of their body by maintaining themselves reasonably lean and functionally physically fit. I can have less respect someone who is heavier than generally considered healthy and too weak to work up a good sweat. When I approach someone at a sex party, it is more likely I'll choose someone I have higher respect for (and that's certainly not limited to physical appearance). We enjoy the thought of sharing our sexuality with someone fostered by a mood of mutual respect and appreciation (with an allowance for trivial objectification). When the encounter comes to its natural closure, everyone feels respected and appreciated.

I believe this is important because it's one of the sources of the magical synergy we observe as a benefit of swinging. Perhaps, that's a separate blog.

Our motivations are the key. When we're motivated to generously share the carnal pleasures of mutually respectful sexual interaction, we derive a benefit for ourselves, our playmates, and for society in general. Otherwise, our nefariously selfish motivations may or may not be exposed during any particular encounter but a more transparent pattern develops over repeated exposures and we experience a long-term loss for ourselves and a negative influence for society.

Thanks for the refinement. Now I understand your point(s) better and am in agreement with what you are saying. (and damn I guess I need to go on a diet, lol)

Seems to me that when we choose partners for the express purpose of having sex with them, it's pretty much sexual objectification. And I don't so much mind being objectified if it is handled in a respectful manner--especially if I have the same interest in the other party.

It could be argued that the objectification is somewhat lessened if one is also seeking friendship from a potential swing partner, but the base reason for trying to meet with that person remains.

Wow, now my brain is as tired as my body after doing 30 Day Shred.

=)