I understand this perfectly. She doesn't see herself the way YOU see her. Yes, you've told her countless times how beautiful/hot/sexy she is. But you're her husband. You're supposed to feel that way.

Unfortunately, I cannot tell you how to get her to see herself through your eyes. It's one of those things you have to figure out for yourself. And I still have my moments now and then.

Hang in there, and just enjoy the moments when she does let her inhibitions go.

Well we made a MAJOR break through today, and I'm quite proud of her, (we had a talk after I posted).

Details may come later, but I'm very pleased, especially because I can tell shes not just doing it to please me but thinks its a good plan.

I'm happy with your breakthrough, I hope you both find the new perception rewarding.

In many ways, I see myself in the words you type and I struggle at times with my own attempts at a solution. I found something and while I don't have it all figured out, maybe you can find some value in looking at the situation from a different perspective. Meekness and patience are difficult qualities to define or recognize as positive value. I see positive values in her characteristics you described - an unselfishness with patience for herself and everyone she knows. The capitalistic commercials on TV bombard us with the message that we shouldn't be satisfied because "they" can sell us a better solution. Being satisfied, meek and patient is routinely portrayed in the media as weak when it is perhaps healthier to view it as a strength.

just a thought.....

I'm glad to hear ya'll talked and have a plan you feel good about. Here's hoping it works! =)

@Socolais - There is meek and patient and there is oblivious wall flower.

In a very young woman, her lack of understanding of her effect on men could be quite charming, and its often a virtue because they won't be one of those so full of themselves that they think they are just too good for people.

But there needs to come a time where you wake up and figure it all out too. When it slips from not understanding to lack of self confidence, its just not a good thing in my book.

She doesn't LIKE being the wall flower, but its a safe place for her. She enjoys when she leaves her comfort zone but it takes a lot to get her out of her box.

I think if she can break out of it, she will be happier.

I wonder if a lot of drinks would cure her own inhibition????