It's only been three years since we got into this, but it seems a lot longer. At this point, I'm not even sure anyone would say we are actually still in the LS. Since the beginning, I (the male) have never been accepted into the lifestyle, except for MFM's with my wife or watching. It has been a constant wonder to me how many married guys, who's profiles say they only play as couples, have made requests to play with my wife (with or without me).

But, I digress. Through the last three years, we have tried many ways of fitting into the LS. We have tried, on several occasions, to stick to the "all play or none play" rule, but that just meant that when we went to parties or on premises clubs, none played. Seeing as how I am older, and not what you would call pretty, I found myself getting in the way of my Mrs. being allowed to have a good time. It seems that the only folks who were willing to be with the both of us, were folks nearing my age and looks. Just because my Mrs. likes sex with me, doesn't mean she got into the LS to have sex with guys like me. I never could understand how so many people who stated so loudly that no one should ever take one for the team, seemed to feel that my Mrs. should jump at the idea.

So, after wasting a fair amount of time and money going to events where neither of us were able to have any fun, we gave up the "all play/no play" bullshit. We went back to the Mrs being able to play when and with whoever she chose, and I tried to go back to watching/doing MFM's with her. Only problem was that that didn't work for me. Watching held no interest for me, and after all the rejection I had felt, I was no longer able to perform in MFM's.

So, I stepped back even farther. I became what I called a "social swinger". I escorted the Mrs. to any events she wanted to attend, acted as her designated driver, and made sure she was not bothered by unwanted attention. I told her that I was no longer interested in watching or participating in any activity, but she was free to do what she wanted. This was doomed to failure from the get-go. She kept trying to drag me into MFM play, and got upset when I wouldn't cooperate. Next we got into a big arguement over that fact that at a party, I wouldn't watch while she played with a guy in the swimming pool. It turned out that I was ruining her fun by not participating/watching.

Now, we are at the point that I no longer participate in the LS in any manner. except here. She can go to any events she wants, and do anything she pleases as long as I am not involved. We have changed our profile to list her as a "married unicorn".

Recently, we got another example of how two faced the LS can be. The Mrs. went to a party recently, and spent a fair amount of time flirting and being flirted up by a former play partner (married). When the Mrs. got bored with the protracted flirting, she asked him where he was going with it. He told her "Nowhere, but if you want to get laid tonight, you should go strip, get on one of the couches with your legs spread, and put a box of condoms on your chest." Rather than cause a scene, the Mrs. came home, and hasn't shown any interest in anything connected to the LS since.