Mrs.Swingerset and I have been talking, I know strange, we are married and we talk, Anyhow we wanted to express some thoughts we have about Swinging, Swapping, the Lifestyle, Singles and Drama.

First off, we want to tell everyone that we have had issues at points in our journey in life and swinging. Not everything has always been a bed of roses, those damn things can have thorns. So for all you newer couples, expect that there will be bumps and potholes in the road. Our best advice is to not let things fester. As soon as possible, talk about what is bothering you, be it feeling left behind or the feeling that you are pulling your partner along behind you. The best thing to do is talk/listen then talk some more. Soon you will find yourselves able to talk about anything and more importantly you will find yourselves not only listening to your partner but hearing them as well. Hearing what your partner is saying is much more important than getting your point across.

Swinging and swapping is a life changing experience for most couples. You are sharing what is the most important thing in your life, your significant other. Swinging can be the most erotic foreplay you have ever had. Watching your spouse please and be pleased by another is amazing.

We know most couples have ideas of what swinging will be like, there are many stereotypes and most are false. Things like, all swingers will jump anyone they can, all swingers are Barbie or Ken and that you will be mobbed by the hottest sexiest people on the planet. The truth is that most couples are somewhat picky in choosing playmates. They want people who they get along with, that they have things in common with and that they find attractive. You will only get out of the experience what you are willing to put into it. Don’t expect that you will get tons of mail without doing anything, you need to send mail to get mail. Not all swingers are beautiful on the outside, most are way sexier on the inside.

Most likely one of you will start taking the lead, this is to be expected, one of you will have more time to read profiles and check out all the info to be found on the net. At parties one of you will be more outgoing than the other. Note to the guys, your wives will most likely get a lot of attention, if she’s bi or bi-curious this will be even more enhanced. This is not something to get upset about, you can still have fun even if you are not quite the center of attention that your SO is. Go with the flow, have fun talk to people and put yourself out there.

The things you are looking for may evolve as you get more comfortable. And they may not. Take some time to reevaluate what it is you are looking for and discuss it with your SO.

Online profiles- We read a lot of profiles and to tell you the truth, most of them are poorly written, to short, or just downright scary. You need to think about what you want to say in your profile, tell a little about yourselves not just height, age, weight, and location. Things like what you like to do, camping, scuba diving, fishing, gardening and boating. When describing what you are looking for, be specific. For example: height requirements, if they need to be bi or straight, (most bi people will play straight if that is what’s called for,) able to host or not. Some couples will only meet new people at an event, others will only meet for coffee. If you have any rules include them. Some couples don’t allow kissing, some only want to soft swap. let people know what it is you are looking for and you will get much better responses. Most importantly, use a word processing program like MS Word and write what you want, run spell check, read through it, make changes, and then run spell check again. Then copy paste your new awesome, sexy profile.

Pictures- We all love to perv others sexy pictures, but we also like to see what you look like. A face picture of both of halves of the couple should be posted or sent with an e-mail. We understand that discretion is needed, none of us want our co-workers and vanilla friends to know we are involved in swinging. It seems that most couples figure a pic of her boobs and his penis are enough to create interest, not true. Make sure that you pick good pictures. We recommend taking time to do a photo shoot, get dressed up or down, if you need to, go to a photographer who does glamor shoots, just make sure that you own the rights to the photos, most photographers have a form to do this. If you are taking your own pictures, set the scene, remove clutter, use a sheet or wall as a back ground. If you really get into it you can get lights at home depot and set up your own studio. If you want candid shots of you at play ask a friend to come and shoot for you. Your photo’s are your first impression make it a good one.

Rules- We have heard every rule you can think of and quite a few more. There is no such thing as a stupid rule. Rules are there to make people comfortable, not to stop the fun. Our biggest suggestion here is, look at your rules. If you have too many you will scare others away, there is nothing worse than having to keep crib notes and having to refer to them during play. Opposite of this is not having any rules. This is what causes drama and drama is bad. Make your rules and stick to them. Avoid the drama. When you both are not all worked up, revisit your rules to remove, add or change them as needed with a calm head.

Lifestyle- I don’t know, is it? For some yes it is. They are committed to living their life free and open sexually. For the rest of us we have other commitments and hobbies. For us this is a very enjoyable hobby. We do spend a lot of time pursuing it but it’s still a small part of our life. I think that we are like most people in this regard. One of you will be the aggressor in this, that person will be the one looking and setting up meetings, make sure that if you find a profile that interests you share it with your SO, then both of you can make the decision if you should contact them and set up a meeting.

Parties- Parties aren’t for everyone. There are different kinds of events to choose from. We host a few different kinds. In our opinion parties are the best way to meet like-minded people. It eliminates the need for endless e-mails, setting up meetings only to have them cancel at the last moment or not show up at all. The worst thing that happens when meeting two on two is not having a connection and have to sit through an evening trying to find a way out without hurting anyone’s feelings.

Bar meets - where a group of us get together at a bar to meet and greet. There are vanillas all around and we try and keep things on the down low. This doesn’t always work and you are more likely to run into co-workers, family, and others you don’t wish to know that you are into sharing.

Bar take-overs- are much more controlled. There is a list of attendees and you have to be on it to get in. The only people there will be the guests and the staff. Here you can be a little wilder, we let things hang out a little further. Safer than a bar meet. if you see someone you know, they are there for the same reasons as you. There is usually a cover charge to cover the costs. This is the lowest pressure type of event.

Hotel parties- Large parties, higher cost, there is a dj, snacks and a pay bar. these parties are as safe as it gets, very few lookie loos. There are blocks of room’s onsite and usually a hospitality suite for an after party.

Hotel takovers- We do not host these at this time. They are very large parties usually stretching from Friday night to Sunday morning. The entire hotel is taken over by swingers. Most takeovers are limited to couples and a few single females, and often there is a naked pool party and a dance on both Friday and Saturday nights.

Lifestyle conventions- held at hotels in LasVegas and other large destination cities 1000’s of swingers and many parties to choose from.

Campouts- These take many different forms. There are lifestyle friendly campgrounds and there are those who live in the country and are willing to let groups camp on their property.

There are also house parties where the hosts open their doors to smaller groups of people. Expect onsite sex and most of the couples will know each other.

Some tips for having a good time at your first and all events you attend.

Make sure that you are not being a wall flower, if you just sit in your chair looking like a deer in the head lights, you will lessen your chances of having a good time. At the beginning of your first event we recommend that you stick together as a couple for the first hour or two, this will allow you to become comfortable in the situation, and ease the nerves of your SO. Once you have made a few friends it’s okay to split up for short periods, dance, chat and even flirt, but keep checking back with each other every 10 to 15 minutes to make sure that your SO is doing ok in this new exciting environment.

Get involved in any games or activities that are going on, we try and do some ice breaker games at all of our events. Dance with your SO and others, this is a good way to make new friends and break the ice as well.