Here is something that came up today, I was asked how to approach people both on line and at events.

While not everyone uses the same approach with success there are a few things that you can do that will make first contacts more successful.

When e-mailing a person for the first time, make sure that you have read their entire profile a few times. We know from experience that when spending a few hours reading profiles that they tend to run together. Once you have found someone you wish to contact, think through what you want to say to them, then if the e-mail program that you are using doesn’t have a spell check, use MS word or another program that does and copy paste from there to the e-mail program. Whatever you do, don’t send a form letter to everyone, unless you are sending party invites.

Ask a few questions about things in their profile, this does a few things for you, one it tells them that you are interested in more than their pics, it lets them know that you actually read their profile. Two it makes your e-mail stand out from any others that they may have received that day or week. If you liked their pics let them know but do it as kind of an afterthought, this will make it seem that even though you like how they look that is not what is most important to you.

Tell them a little about yourselves, not personal details but a little about yourselves so they don’t have to look up your profile right away. Let them know what your goals for the e-mail are. If you are just looking for chat or online fun or if you want to meet them face to face. Save details for follow up e-mails. If you want to chat online with them before meeting let them know when you will be available to chat.

A good first e-mail may go something like this:

Hi, we saw your profile and it intrigued us! We really liked your tag line “All pleasure no Pressure” This is something we believe in as well. You stated that you are only looking for people close by, Are we to far away? According to the mi calculator we are 47 miles from you. We are also looking for FWB.

A little about us, we are hwp, in our early 40’s, we have a kids so we don’t have a lot of time to meet, but we can make time if you are interested in meeting. We are going to the party in Duluth on May 21st are you going? We really do prefer meeting at events, it takes the pressure off, if you know what we mean. That picture with the two of you on the beach is sexy as hell. If you would like to chat IM us here, we are usually on after 9pm Tuesdays and Wednesdays.

At events it is much easier to meet people. the party mood seems to help quite a bit.

Just like any party where there are people that you don’t know the all-important “First Impression” is what will make or break your night. We recommend dressing to impress, but don’t overdo it. Wear clothing that is sexy but doesn’t make you uncomfortable, if you are not comfortable in a short skirt and heels then by all means don’t wear them. If you feel uncomfortable then you will look uncomfortable and that will make others think that you are not comfortable with them.

Don’t be a wall flower, by this I mean don’t sit at a table all night looking into your drink. Get up and mingle, if you look approachable then you will be approached. Smile, there is nothing like a smile to make others want to say hi.

Here is a tip for the hubbies, don’t hover over your wife. We have seen this and it really makes you look unapproachable, I’m not suggesting that you leave her alone, but don’t stand so close to her that she looks like she is being protected by the secret service.

If you aren’t comfortable walking up to people and saying hi, you can always ask the hosts if there is anything you can help with, we always have a few chores that we reserve for people that volunteer to help out. Just small things like, helping set up for a mixer game, or checking the ladies room for supplies.

The best tip we have for meeting people at events is to get involved, dance, play the games, and put yourself out there a bit.

The worst thing that will happen is that you get a polite “no thank you”