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Our Exploits in Tantra Town

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socolais

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Local news station reports strange resurrection event in Tantra Town. Details at eleven.

 

I guess I haven't been very active on the board lately. I recall reading someone's post a long time ago that mentioned the correlation between forum posting activity and swinging activity. I concur with the observation.

 

Life has been busy lately and one of the things that slipped off our things to do list is swinging. We didn't consciously make the decision to take a break from swinging, it just kind of happened. We began to notice the signs of habituation setting in, we began to take each other for granted again. Most of the time, just noticing the effect and discussing it stoked the old fires and offered relief.

 

A few weeks ago, we came to the realization that we were slipping apart more than we really wanted. We started looking for a solution better than just discussing the problem and determining to manually override the habituation effect. We decided "Karezza" would be fun to play with again - and I'm happy to report it meets all acceptance criteria.

 

Karezza is a tantric discipline that is heavy on the foreplay and long, slow comfortable sex,,, all the way up to but generally not including orgasm. On the surface it sounds CRAZY to forfeit orgasms INTENTIONALLY, but let me tell you, it's a hell of a lot more fun than it sounds. Karezza reminded us to slow down and enjoy each other's company, to really appreciate each other's intense sexuality and compassion. So, it has been a couple of weeks since either of us have experienced an orgasm, and we're having the wildest and most satisfying sex we've had in a very long time. We're closer and more in-tune with each other. I think Karezza has made better lovers out of both of us.

 

We have a little two-couple party planned for this week with friends we've enjoyed before. We're beginning to feel the stomach butterflies and the excitement. Yeah, this is the good stuff. In addition to a very delightful party, I'm looking forward to evaluating the combination of Karezza and swinging. However the events of the party may unfold, I'll be able to compare the buzz of swinging with the buzz of Karezza and see if I notice a difference.

 

Meanwhile, I encourage everyone to research Karezza for themselves and decide if the solution has an application in their own lives. It may not be valuable for everyone and I think it takes a particular mind-set to realize its value (very much like swinging). I wont say the buzz from Karezza is "better" than conventional sex, but I will say, it is just as good in a delightfully different way.

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The chemical which is love requires renewal. You have piqued my interest. Sex can become mechanical. I have heard it said before that orgasm does not need to be the goal. But I have never before heard the concept described in this context. Will definitely research Karezza.

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Our little party got postponed, but that's ok, we have more time to scrutinize our perceptions of this Karezza stuff.

 

Be careful about following guidance from a practitioner of an exotic discipline when he has only a few weeks experience. Buyer beware. Do your own due diligence. Your mileage may vary. By the way, I think Karezza isn't going to make a damned bit of sense to you unless "you go looking for it" (much like swinging).

 

We've played with this Karezza stuff before, but never seriously. We'd get started and at the first strong urge for an orgasm, we'd fall off the wagon and send each other into orgasmic orbit around the pearly gates. Mind blowing orgasms are like potato chips - ya CAN'T stop at just one!!!

 

This time was different. Before, we had the effects from swinging to remind us to fully appreciate each other. We didn't need that effect from Karezza - that box was already checked, that base was already covered. Before, we started Karezza from a position of swinging induced infatuation, which perhaps masked the Karezza magic. This time, we were held hostage by habituation. We knew what we were missing but this awful feeling progressed upon us so slowly that we were unable to recognize its parasitic colonization of our passion for each other. It's involuntary, it's persistent, and it's invasive. It can't be squelched by will power alone. Habituation is straight from Beelzebubba himself.

 

We knew how to recognize the feelings we were missing because it was the same perception we had regained in our early daze of swinging - the old honeymoon feeling. And I think that familiarity with the rejuvenation of "New Relationship Energy" helped us advance quickly and effortlessly through the several initial stages of Karezza. We quickly recognized a spark of intense satisfaction and contentedness. Our appreciation of that, sent us head over heels into Karezza la la land. Fresh, new, generous, soothing, and exciting touches. A new appreciation for the subtle sensations associated with our connection. A massage with extra passion, a brush of the hand against the cheek, a gleam in an eye and a thoroughly indicting smile - yeah baby!!!

 

Interestingly enough, our newly regained closeness triggered an interest in sharing a sexual adventure with some old friends. One plus one equals,,,,,, A GAZILLION!!!

 

I think the way to play this game is to ignore (as best you can) the urges toward orgasm. Somehow, "trying to avoid them" isn't quite the same as consciously trading them in exchange for NRE. We traded them away, we pawned them, they're not on the menu anymore - we got the better end of that deal. Although, the urge to pursue an orgasm because, well, let's just say they have a classic appeal, gets strong and needs to be consciously invalidated. Now, that takes some will power.

 

This just keeps getting better. And she's one hell of a kisser.

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Three weeks now, and it keeps getting better. The urge for orgasm is a distant memory - good riddance. There are soooo many delicious sensations this side of orgasm and they typically get lost or passed over quickly in the pursuit of orgasmic bliss. Karezza has REALLY made us both better lovers.

 

I have a difficult time following all the mystic mumbo jumbo associated with most tantric practices. I see it mostly as a metaphorical story about the uniqueness of the soulful satisfaction one is likely to experience. I think I understand now, why they wax so philosophic about the feelings. Normal daily words just don't have the capacity to describe the conscious realignment. So, I guess I have glittery fountains of cosmic energy shooting out of my bellybutton. But, really, that's not the important part of this practice - at least for us.

 

The neurochemical part of this experiment happens way below my capacity to observe. The changes are slow and steady. It's like trying to observe movement of the hour hand on a clock. Logically, we know it moves, but it happens slow and steady which defies direct detection of its movement. My attitudes and perceptions have experienced a change - but they are very difficult for me to isolate and recognize. The words I might use to describe my perception delta are all wrong. It's funny that the search for meaningful descriptions brings us right back to cosmic energy flows. It makes no sense from the outside looking in, and then from the inside looking out, it has very little relevance.

 

Slow comfortable sex without orgasm, totally rocks!! A morsel of good chocolate before climbing in bed provides a smooth and polite vision quest. It gets the socolais stamp of approval.

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Been a munth already (no pesky Os). Last night, we intended to enjoy the hot tub and the severe thunderstorm changed our plans. The patter of heavy raindrops colliding with the roof and windows, the flashes of lightning, the random activation of car alarms up and down the street.... Laying in the water bed and enjoying the slow comfortable pace of our passion for each other, we discussed it and decided to "clean the pipes" because it feels like it has been so long since we've had an explosive orgasm. [pause to let your imagination run wild] Room-spinning is fun and an activity we can enjoy together whenever we choose. I think it's cool to be able to exercise a choice in the situation rather than expecting orgasms as a default. She thrills me in ways words are so poorly equipped to express.

 

It will be interesting to pay attention to our moods and perceptions over the next few days and see if we notice anything remarkable. I think one of the biggest hazards of experimenting on ourselves is that we immediately loose all credibility for objectivity. Swinging is a lot like that too. Every couple has to find their own way into the party - and no single path is "the right one". What works for one couple, may or may not work for another. So, all hopes of objectivity aside, we enjoy practicing Karezza and think it's one of the milder kinks we've played with in a long time. We call it our "Endless luvin". It's a fun sexual skill to have in our bag of tricks.

 

I think I'm the luckiest man in the whole wide world.

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What's the value of a solitary, subjective, anecdotal data point??? The world may never know...

 

Karezza rhymes with pizza, they're both spicy and kinky in the bedroom. Swinging is like a mountain of fresh mozzarella cheese on top of a karezza pie. It was an interesting experience and one I would recommend to a friend looking for something different as a sexual adventure. Karezza made me a better lover and swinging is a perfect social opportunity to enjoy the benefits from the improvement. I'm in a wonderful mood, I'm sexually satisfied, my head is still spinning and I'm certain my observations are heavily biased.

 

I think it's interesting that this experiment has such a huge "price of admission". First, we need to be content with respectful, mature swinging - and we all know that's not the easiest trick in the book. Then, we have to agree that orgasms are not really that important and there may be a better way to make love. And lastly, we need willing partners in crime. I believe those three cosmic forces rarely occur in coincidence.

 

I suspect the magic of adding swinging to the karezza playbook is that it makes the negative aspects of occasional orgasms less significant and in my observation, the positive aspects more colossal.

 

Use this knowledge for good, never evil

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So, we've been playing the Karezza game a little more than two months now and we consider ourselves permanent converts. We've found value in the Karezza experience and enjoy the emphasis on subtle sensuousity.

 

I think it is very interesting that Karezza directly violates the predominate social programming with its emphasis on orgasms. Respectful swinging violates social programming too - what other lies have I believed all my life. Why is mainstream society preaching messages that we KNOW are completely without merit? I suggest that if Karezza became the dominate paradigm in conventional married sexuality then marital discontent and divorce would be rare exceptions - the world would be a much happier place.

 

One interesting observation about our practice of Karezza is that the satisfaction is not quite as durable as normal orgasms - meaning that we feel compelled to go back for another helping of Karezza (or intense cuddling) probably a little sooner than we would otherwise. That's not necessarily a "bad thang". No hard numbers here, just a general observation of the feeling of a need for another Karezza session. We still enjoy occasional orgasms, probably a little more frequent than "pure" Karezza enthusiasts. I suspect our orgasm frequency will diminish over time.

 

Another emerging idea nugget I have about this Karezza sex is that it appears to feminize sexual activities - that is, it directly caters to the sexual needs and desires of women more than men. We men then get our satisfaction as a result of the women being more satisfied and in turn showering us with their gratitude [crude oversimplification]. Perhaps, it is similar to the phenomena of women being in charge in swinging activities. When Mama's happy, everyone's happy.

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