Falling upon each other after an intimate encounter is, and I expect always will be, one of the most amazing phenomena of this so-called lifestyle.

As for the notion that "sex with others" is basically selfish, I expressed this thought is a forum discussion a while back and was immediately set upon by several other members. So I'm glad that somebody else, finally, has made this same observation. I see no use in rationalizing sex by claiming it's a favor to someone else.

And of course, none of this is to say that we are anything but attentive to our playmates when we're in the moment. We are both wired as givers and want to see our playmates satisfied (which on the surface seems selfless but is anything but). But we go in as a couple and we leave as a couple. The post-encounter sex reinforces this. And jealousy just can't survive in this kind of climate.

That feeling you share is the reward for doing all the research leading you two into this adventure. That's how you know you're doing it "right". Enjoy it, you've earned it.

As for the "selfish" part, google "compersion" and see if that word doesn't fit the concept a little better. All the pain and misery in this world is caused by folks wanting something better just for themselves, all the joy comes from wanting something better for others.

Having emotions and experiences validated by LS vets just leads me to believe that we are in the right place. And it's a nice place.